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Thread: Primal Journal (winencandy) page 375

  1. #3741
    winencandy's Avatar
    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    I had a "release"
    Not huge.
    But real.

    I was trying to sort out the medical bills from Peru for the insurance company.
    (I'd been avoiding it.)
    I couldn't focus on it.
    My mind wouldn't let me.
    I felt tight, tense, wrong, so I went upstairs and climbed into bed.

    Lily joined me.

    I lay there and started telling myself the "story" (really, that's how I'd been coping with it, it was a story)
    I started telling myself out loud what happened.
    Slowly.
    Picturing it in my mind.
    When I got to the boys starting CPR, my mind went to the CPR training I'd had in January.

    30 compressions, 2 breaths
    30 compressions, 2 breaths
    30 compressions, 2 breaths
    30 compressions, 2 breaths

    Picturing the boys giving CPR to my Son

    For 20 minutes

    That's when I started sobbing.
    Lily climbed on me, licking my face.

    ~~~~~~

    I know I'm not "done", but I "broke the dam"

    It's a start

    Finally
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  2. #3742
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    Greensprout is offline Senior Member
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    This is good.

    (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

  3. #3743
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    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    Thank you
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  4. #3744
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    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    5 Days, 23 Hours, 4 Minutes until the plane leaves for PARIS!!!!!

    Thursday
    I taught my Home Instruction Student this morning and then went to an art display with an artist friend in the afternoon. I had play rehearsal from 4 - 6. The Director asked me if I could run the rehearsal, he couldn't make it. He gave me an outline of what to do. No problems. After supper, I tried to organize the insurance papers. Yeah, um, I already posted about what happened then.

    Foods
    MCT oil shot
    Chai
    Lunch meat, cheese, tomato, olives plate
    Caveman Crunch, Cheese and Coconut Heart snack



    Peameal bacon, scrambled eggs, olives
    Frozen blueberries, whipping cream and more Caveman Crunch (this stuff is TOO good)
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  5. #3745
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    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    I was reading back on the 1st 6 months of this journal. Interesting read.

    And, remember these?

    I used to eat them ALL the time.

    Maybe I should make them again??
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  6. #3746
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    Hey, I remember those! They were awesome. I actually was thinking about them recently.

    If you're sort of doing the EMF thang (which it sort of looks like you are), they would fit right in.

  7. #3747
    Pedidoc's Avatar
    Pedidoc is online now Senior Member
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    I'm so glad Lily was there for you........good dog!
    Female 53
    Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 160
    Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

    With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

  8. #3748
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    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, she's an awesome dog!
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  9. #3749
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    4 Days, 23 Hours, 11 Minutes until the plane leaves for Paris!!!!

    Friday
    I was a Drama teacher today
    Good day. Except for the ONE boy in the grade 9 class (there's always ONE boy in a grade 9 class) who had to test me...

    Lunch:



    Snack was Caveman crunch and a coconut heart.

    Supper tonight was a "theme" night at a local eatery. Irish night.
    Menu:
    Wine & Beer (I had 2 white wines and I bought the band 3 wines. I knew 2 of the 4 band members)
    Salmon Rillettes
    Irish Cheeses & Irish Oatcakes (no oatcakes for me & I brought the band grapes & cheeses)

    Dill Buttermilk Soda Bread (not for me)
    Creamery Irish Butter
    Potato & Parsnip Soup with Smoked Bacon

    Steak & Guinness Pie (I gave my Farmer the biscuits)
    Butter Braised carrots & cabbage

    Irish Coffee Pudding (wow! think Kaluaha!!)
    Walnut Shortbreads (yes, I had one. Melt in your mouth!)
    Bailey's Cream (I had 2! The elderly lady beside me didn't want hers...)

    I can feel the alcohol...
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

  10. #3750
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    winencandy is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    No sticker tonight
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
    "Moderation sucks." Suse
    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


    Winencandy

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