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Thread: Husband not on board with my eating plan page

  1. #1
    leera21's Avatar
    leera21 is offline Member
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    Exclamation Husband not on board with my eating plan

    HELP!!!!!!

    I can not convince my husband to help me do this.He's totally not into giving up his bowls of cereal or his ice cream....

    I've been trying to only buy primal type foods when I shop,but he only wants cream cheese,ice cream,sweets,and all things not primal......

    I don't want to start any major arguments,but at the same time I don't want anything in the house that might tempt me to wander off my plan....

    Anyone have any suggestions???

  2. #2
    john_e_turner_ii's Avatar
    john_e_turner_ii is offline Senior Member
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    Yeah, my wife isn't there either. She is eating a little more primal by eating meats and veggies, but she is Mexican(actually from Mexico) and likes tortillas and chips.

    My suggestion is continue to be an example. You can't force someone to change, but if you look better and feel better, he might want to also.

  3. #3
    slowcooker's Avatar
    slowcooker is offline Senior Member
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    I'd say you have to be strong.. make sure you've got lots of good food for you, and enough junk for the husband to feel like he's not being forced into something he's not ready for. Take your time, try to get him to eat some good stuff in addition to the ice cream and cereal

  4. #4
    Asturian's Avatar
    Asturian is offline Senior Member
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    You can't force anyone else to accept this liefstyle.

    This is something YOU have to do, on your own if necessary.

    Sure it will be harder without the support of your husband but you can't make him or anyone esle eat/live this way.

    I'm sure there are many who will support you here on the forum. Sorry it can't be any easier on you other than leaving him which may actually not be easier.

    Best of luck and hang in there, stay determined, stay focused, and stay disciplined.
    “It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creeds into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.”
    —Robert A. Heinlein

  5. #5
    primalrob's Avatar
    primalrob is offline Senior Member
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    my wife doesn't eat primal (though, i think i might finally be getting through to her), so she keeps a lot of pasta, cereal and sweets in the house. so i re-organized things in a way that gives us each a place for 'our' foods...specific cupboards, drawers in the refrigerator, etc. it really helped a lot with the temptations as first. after a while, the temptations go away and you don't even notice those foods.

  6. #6
    leera21's Avatar
    leera21 is offline Member
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    OOOhh.....reorganizing the food storage sounds like a great idea!!

    I knew someone here would help me!!

    Thanks everyone!

    I know I can't force him to change,but I do wish he would at least support me in my efforts.....I've never been slim,other than once in my life(birth control made me lose 80 lbs in six months,rather than gaining weight like most women do, lol). I just want to be able to shop in a clothing section that's not labeled "Plus Sizes"......

    I know he's a loving husband and he keeps saying "I love you just the way you are" BUT I don't love me the way I am,you know?

  7. #7
    Hilary's Avatar
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    My husband keeps his junk food on his desk - I'd never normally see it. Is there somewhere your husband can keep a stash of sugary things that's out of your way?

    On the positive side, give it a few weeks and this stuff won't look like food to you at all - you'd just as soon eat the cardboard box it comes in.

    Also, if you feed your husband more good things for his main meals - nice substantial helpings of meat and veg - then his desire for the sugary anti-foods may subside naturally, too. I think we're buying it in smaller quantities now.

    ETA: oops, missed seeing a couple of posts. Yes, exactly what Rob said.

    Also, I understand exactly what you're saying about the support. You can probably look forward to your husband being very happy with your new shape, though
    Last edited by Hilary; 09-03-2010 at 08:39 AM.

  8. #8
    Jenny's Avatar
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    Definitely reorganize the food storage. As part of our own transition my husband "quarantined" all our non-primal dry goods in a nice, inconvenient location. So if we ever go to that cabinet, it forces us to at least acknowledge what we're doing.

    I know the feeling about plus sizes -- I would love to just go into any old store and be able to find clothes that fit again!

    Supposedly some spouses/partners are threatened by the idea of a partner being eager to make big changes. In their mind it sort of throws everything into question. Maybe he needs some reassurance, who knows? (But I agree, it would help if he'd at least buy into the idea of you doing something that you feel you need to do!)
    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

  9. #9
    blank_faceplate's Avatar
    blank_faceplate is offline Senior Member
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    I think your situation is more common than not. If not having "bad" foods around isn't an option, you'll simply need to steel your resolve, and ask yourself each time you reach for something to stuff in your face, "Is this helping or hurting?" You won't always win, but you can still do fine.

    On the front of him not wanting to give up his habits, trust me, if saying to him "this is important to me, and I really want us to do this together" isn't working, nothing will get him to retreat further into his cave faster than telling him how "wrong" he is. Some people just aren't cut out for paleo eating. It makes mealtimes a PITA, and pretty much eliminates fun times like grabbing a slice together, but all in all, those are very small parts of your relationship.

    Depending on who handles the budget, though (assuming anyone does) there may be some sticker shock. Paleo/primal is expensive enough by itself - separate meal plans increases that by quite a bit when the list of things you can/will both eat is smaller than the list of things you can't/won't share. Think of the common overlapping circle scenario - if the only thing in the part of the diagram that meets is "meat" there might be an issue.

  10. #10
    r_squared02's Avatar
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    You've already received lots of good advice.

    My hubby is not primal either, and has no real desire to be. I cook our meals, so his dinner is always primal anyway, lol.

    As a few people mentioned, stick with it and those foods don't even SOUND good anymore, they are no longer a temptation. It will help when you start noticing changes in your body too.

    A funny (to me) story that helps illustrate what I'm trying to say: A couple of days ago was my MIL's birthday. In keeping with tradition, we all got together at their house and had an icecream cake. I declined to have any and my hubby started in on me - you LOVE icecream, she never eats anything anymore, blah blah blah... His mom and his SIL were both like, hello! Look at her, I wish I had that kind of will power! Leave her alone, she looks great. I was beaming and hubby shut his face!

    Anyway, I'm still a newbie too, so enjoy, you'll love it!

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