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Thread: Husband not on board with my eating plan page 2

  1. #11
    leera21's Avatar
    leera21 is offline Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Yes,I have discovered that primal food is a bit higher in price,but compared to the price of junk food,it's really not that bad....I can buy meat direct from the meat packer for way cheaper than the store.I place my order,he buys the steer from a local farmer,and cuts the meat to my order...I can also order pork,chicken and turkey from all local sources,so meat is the easy part.....veggies are what kills the budget......

    I've been slowly buying less and less junk stuff,and more healthy stuff,and encouraging him to eat more of it.

    We're not newly weds by any means(12years,been together as a couple for 16 years),so we know each other pretty well.

    He would choose watching a movie over going for a walk,or sleep rather than a bike ride.....

    SO I decided that I am spending this holiday weekend revamping the cupboards and food storage,and will be making a point to go out for an early morning walk or ride first thing before he's even out of bed....

  2. #12
    chima_p's Avatar
    chima_p is offline Senior Member
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    On the support issue...

    He does support you. He said he loves you the way you are. What he does not support is your decision to make him suffer with you.

    Too a man these are 2 seperate issues. You can't take away a person's freedom to make choices on his own and then guilt trip him by calling it "not supporting you". It's not fair. Besides getting rid of ice cream or whatever is not "support" it's sympathy. Why would you want to be with someone who needs sympathy?

    This is coming from a man who has been there done that.

  3. #13
    ORBren's Avatar
    ORBren is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chima_p View Post
    On the support issue...

    He does support you. He said he loves you the way you are. What he does not support is your decision to make him suffer with you.

    Too a man these are 2 seperate issues. You can't take away a person's freedom to make choices on his own and then guilt trip him by calling it "not supporting you". It's not fair. Besides getting rid of ice cream or whatever is not "support" it's sympathy. Why would you want to be with someone who needs sympathy?

    This is coming from a man who has been there done that.
    I actually appreciate this male point of view. It is a good reminder that people respond differently. Are you going to love him even if he doesn't eat primal? Even if he ribs you? Tell him so and let him be. Your will power will improve and you will feel so much better - hang in there, it is worth it. When he starts to make changes in his own eating, just be happy! no grudges.

  4. #14
    Js137's Avatar
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    Sorry I didn't read any of the other comments, but I have been following the PB for about 5 months now and I am the only one in the house following (or any other house that we visit for that matter).

    You are going to have to be more disciplined since the tempting foods will always be in your house. Until you break your initial sugar (carb) cravings it will simply be your strong will. After that, you just have to accept that some of these foods will be around and your husband should accept what you are doing and not keep it excessive!! If there are foods that are really a weakness for me, I will ask her not to buy them at all or choose a different snack etc.

    Also, I think it is even more important for me to not let myself get too hungry. If I do, the pantry is right around corner and has plenty of horrible food in it (whole grains, cereal, oats, etc...).

    Here is the good news: before eating primally and making sure I get enough fat (terribly important!!), I could never resists the temptation. Maybe a day, a week, or even a month, but not consistently through time. Now, it is pretty easy!! Good luck!!

  5. #15
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    My wife isn't into it either! Even with my 15+ lbs i have lost over the past 4 weeks! She keeps telling me that she HAS to eat grains in to make it through the day and won't listen to all the science. I read her the 1st chapter of PB with the PB vs. CW examples when I started and she was super excited to get started but in the end the CW brain washing has won. It is hard for dinners because she wants us to eat the same thing but when she makes rice and beans for dinner I either IF or have some leftovers and a BAS. It has caused a few fights because she thinks it isn't a sustainable lifestyle but being a doc with a strong nutrition background she knows that I wouldn't start if there wasn't plenty of science backing it up.

    I feel that it is the addiction that gets in the way and the only way around it is the detox, but you can't make an addict quit unless they want too. Even with the 80/20 fall back written into it!
    "The power that made the body HEALS the body" - B.J. Palmer

  6. #16
    kennelmom's Avatar
    kennelmom is offline Senior Member
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    My husband was not on board when I started this. He is slowwwwly coming around. He eats primally when I cook because that's what I make. And he respects my diet choices enough to cook primally when he prepares the meal - or to at least get my "ok" for a "20% cheat" meal.

    He's been asking for fewer and fewer garbage...er...neolithic foods, which is good! But, when I started I'd still buy him the things he asked for (within reason). My choices shouldn't be forced on him. And, honestly, life is about choices and control. I'm in control of my decisions. What I eat. What I drink. Whether or not I exercise. When I was truly finally ready to change, I wasn't tempted by the cookies anymore and the "choice" was easy. Just like when I quit smoking. Once I was truly committed to changing (quitting), the temptations were no longer temptations.
    Heather and the hounds - Make a Fast Friend, Adopt a Greyhound!

  7. #17
    Bane's Avatar
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    I have the same issues. I'm to the point where I just do my thing, and let everything else fall where it may. Without even saying a word, a lot of my habits are wearing off on the rest of the family. No one has buns with burgers anymore, we cut way down on potatoes, etc.

    As for having the food around, in a weird way, I almost look at it as a challenge. I spoon up ice cream for my wife and kids for dessert, then sit down to a cup of green tea and chat with them while they're having it. I cook pancakes if everyone is really craving them, then sit down to some coffee while they eat. In my mind I'm telling the ice cream and pancakes "kiss my ass you disgusting little bastard". I just smile and enjoy the smell. The feeling I get from saying no to that crap is better than the taste of the food.

    It is funny though, I think they're closer to being primal now than they'd be had I been trying to really push it on them.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by r_squared02 View Post
    A funny (to me) story that helps illustrate what I'm trying to say: A couple of days ago was my MIL's birthday. In keeping with tradition, we all got together at their house and had an icecream cake. I declined to have any and my hubby started in on me - you LOVE icecream, she never eats anything anymore, blah blah blah... His mom and his SIL were both like, hello! Look at her, I wish I had that kind of will power! Leave her alone, she looks great. I was beaming and hubby shut his face!
    Ha classic. You didn't happen to get all that on video did you? :-)

  9. #19
    Jenny's Avatar
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    Think of it this way -- the self-discipline you'll need at home is good practice for the self-discipline you'll need in other places with food offered. Visiting friends who want you to eat their latest pie, etc. Can't control other people's food everywhere, and it's not really fair to him to outright ban foods he's still wanting.

    That said, I do hope he will at least be able to accept that this is something _you_ want to do.
    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

  10. #20
    leera21's Avatar
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    It's not about forcing him to do anything or change anything,I just want/need him to understand that I am doing this for me,so I can be a better me,in better shape and better health....so I can concentrate on us rather than on my ever growing list of health issues...

    I think there is a part of him that is uncertain about this mostly because I might look different or my personality/attitude might be change.....

    I think the best plan for me right now would to reorganize the kitchen/food storage so that the things he wants to eat that I am placing on my "NO" list are in a spot just for him.........he's not all that bad,and is getting better,we went shopping together this afternoon,and the only junk food thing he asked for was veggie chips(they're potato based things colored with veggie juice).While I picked out lots of high protein foods and lots of fruits and veggies....he even spotted for me some divided lunch containers to make taking lunch to work easier.

    I know he cares about me,and about us,I just hope that he can find a way to understand what it is I am trying to do.

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