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Thread: The Great Calcium Conspiracy a.k.a. Mirrorballís Diet Revolution page

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    Mirrorball's Avatar
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    Exclamation The Great Calcium Conspiracy a.k.a. Mirrorballís Diet Revolution

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    Some of you may already be aware that a study recently published by the British Medical Journal indicates that women who take calcium supplements have a greater chance of suffering a heart attack. Scientists believe that excess calcium may harden the arteries (source). This bit of news has reminded me of an oft-forgotten truth: every nutrient has the potential to cause harm when taken in excess, not just the ones we like to bad-mouth. Itís all a matter of quantity. Love and hate towards different nutrients, who are then deemed ďgoodĒ or ďbadĒ, come into and go out of fashion. The bad guy used to be saturated fat, now itís fructose. The good guy used to be fibre, then vitamin C, and now itís omega-3 polyunsaturated fat.

    Most importantly, the study above is a clear sign that we are on the brink of a major paradigm shift in nutrition, wherein we realise that the true cause of the so-called ďdiseases of civilizationĒ is excess calcium in the diet. I donít know why nobody had thought of this before; itís obvious. And considering that this place is so avant-garde, full of people who strive to be in the vanguard of nutritional science, Iím sure everyone must have already realised that we are in great danger of falling behind the CW crowd if we donít embrace this new paradigm right now. We must take immediate action to join this nascent crusade against calcium and start demonising this deadly nutrient before anyone else does it. To get us started, Iíve compiled this small list of facts that discuss some of the ways calcium is killing us.


    - It is known that human health declined with the advent of agriculture and animal husbandry. Many assume that this decline was caused by the consumption of grains, which are full of lectins, phytate and other harmful substances. But the true villain is the calcium-rich poison that drips from a cowís udder. When the first ex-hunter gatherer milked the first cow Ė that was the beginning of the end.


    - Calories and carbs donít matter; calcium makes you fat. The US has one of the highest calcium intakes in the world. It also has one of the highest obesity rates. Coincidence? I think NOT.


    - In fact, the current heart disease and obesity epidemic can be directly traced to the ridiculously high 1,000 mg/day calcium requirement established by the FDA and to the practice of ďenrichingĒ cereals with minerals. We donít need all that calcium. We only need the trace amounts provided by low-calcium foods.


    - Itís not the sugary cereals, but the added calcium and the milk you pour on the cereals that are killing you.


    - Milk has a high insulinogenic index Ė it stimulates insulin release. Is anyone surprised? Iím not surprised in the least. Itís the calcium. Calcium makes you fat and diabetic and insulin resistant.


    - I can already foresee a heated debate on dark green leafy vegetables such as kale and spinach. They are rich in calcium. Some of you will argue spinach is a whole food and vegetables make up the base of the Primal pyramid; but if you seek the optimal diet, you should not eat spinach. Why eat spinach when you can get all the nutrients you need from other sources?


    - Itís commonly assumed that having strong bones is a good thing. But is it? The Innuit have low rates of diabetes, obesity and heart disease. If you think that their good health can be attributed to a diet high in omega-3 fatty acids and low in grains and processed foods, think again. Some studies indicate that the Innuit lose more bone mass as they age than other peoples. Why? Because their diet is low in calcium! Thatís why they are so healthy. You donít need all that bone. Really.


    - A low-calcium diet makes you lose weight, including some useless bone weight. Bone weighs too much Ė get lighter. Bone is too hard Ė get flexible.


    - Foolish people will insist that strong bones are necessary for good sports performance. That is just because their metabolism isnít adapted to a low-calcium diet yet. In other words, they are still not over the low-calcium flu. But here is an unsettling fact: in order for your muscles to contract, calcium levels must rise inside the muscle cells. So maybe exercising isnít as healthy as we thought it was. Indeed, when you stop and think about it, the less you move, the less likely you are to break a bone. Here is a nice way to put it: Your bones donít break because your diet is poor in calcium. Your bones break because you move around too much. What a nice paradigm shift.


    - Do you think Grok boiled bones to make stock? Of course he didnít and neither should you. Bone broth hardens your arteries, stupid.


    No doubt all of you will do everything you can to divulge the above facts to the unenlightened masses. This already helps the cause immensely, but Iíll also need your collaboration to found our own cult-like ZC message board. (ZC = zero calcium.)


    Iím also writing a book about the low-calcium diet, but I donít have a good title for it yet. Here are a few ideas. Please let me know what you think of them.

    1. Good Minerals, Bad Minerals
    2. The Great Calcium Conspiracy
    3. The Calcium Menace
    4. Calcium Busters
    5. Calcium Blues
    6. Deadly Dangerous Dairy

    NB for the humour-impaired: This post, from the second paragraph on, is tongue-in-cheek.
    Height: 5'4" (1.62 m)
    Starting weight (09/2009): 200 lb (90.6 kg)
    No longer overweight (08/2010): 145 lb (65.6 kg)
    Current weight (01/2012): 127 lb (57.5 kg)

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    Reminds me of another great post:

    "Why Bread is Bad"
    1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

    2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

    3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

    4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

    5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average South African eats more bread than that in one month!

    6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

    7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

    8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

    9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

    10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

    11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

    12. Most South African bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

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    strom's Avatar
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    Very nice satire. Although I am curious on how high is too much calcium. I stopped taking my cal mag vitamins recently. Not sure if that is a good or bad idea.

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    @avocado: Wow, I'm speechless. This post surely proves bread is almost as deadly as calcium. Almost. Calcium is worse.
    Height: 5'4" (1.62 m)
    Starting weight (09/2009): 200 lb (90.6 kg)
    No longer overweight (08/2010): 145 lb (65.6 kg)
    Current weight (01/2012): 127 lb (57.5 kg)

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    Mirrorball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strom View Post
    Very nice satire. Although I am curious on how high is too much calcium. I stopped taking my cal mag vitamins recently. Not sure if that is a good or bad idea.
    Here is a link to the real meta-analysis calcium study: http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/341/jul29_1/c3691
    Not a joke. Women were taking more than 500 mg daily.
    Height: 5'4" (1.62 m)
    Starting weight (09/2009): 200 lb (90.6 kg)
    No longer overweight (08/2010): 145 lb (65.6 kg)
    Current weight (01/2012): 127 lb (57.5 kg)

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    Avocado made my night!
    "I know what my body needs and what it can handle. There's no better way to achieve my goal than what im doing now. If my regimen leads to my death, be it in six days or six months...I will die fullfiled. The outcome is irrelavent so long as i steer towards my fate. If death is to be my prize, i welcome it with open arms."

    "A pound of meat a day keeps the doctor away"

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGrappler View Post
    Avocado made my night!
    ...and my morning!

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    I got asked about that study yesterday - thanks for the link! I'm glad I don't eat bread or take calcium. I would want to turn in to a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person with heart disease.

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    Reminds me of the deadly dihydrogen monoxide. DHMO is a common ingredient in anti-freeze and is so pervasive in our modern world that it is found in even the most isolated of primitive tribes.

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    Thanks for the study, but even more so, thanks for the humor. Group think will always lead to humor by the instaneous reactions that the borderline crazies come up with and push the group towards. "let's take this study and blow it out of the water. let's destroy all calcium supps and calcium fortified foods known to man" I can just see it now...it'll be like when people were slashing tires of SUVs for destroying the earth....instead they'll be puncturing jugs of calcium fortified orange juice.....

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