Tooround's Journal page

[tooround]

I kinda messed up this first day of August. Usually on the first of the month I weigh and measure but I didn't really realise that it was the first already until I'd been up for a while. I'll do it tomorrow.

In the beginning (early March) I lost weight. In the ensuing months, I shrunk. In July, I started measuring body fat percentage. Now what? The ultimate question that has prohibited dieters from becoming maintainers for years! Now what?

I seem to have hit that middle spot. I'm small. My blood sugars are good. I fit into almost any clothing I want. My energy levels are good. I sleep OK. And it was pretty easy. I know I could maintain this because I have for a couple of months. There is no reason why I couldn't eat like this and walk some ... for the rest of my life.

But ... I'm hovering between good and better. And once in a while I dream of optimal.

I've started tracking in fitday but to what end? If I veer off into optimal land (which will be a little harder work) will I be able to maintain -or- will optimal functioning catch up and help me maintain?

I guess the only way to find out is to try. What's another yo in my life of yo yo'ing weight? And seriously, if that's the worst that can happen ... a couple of pounds?

[tooround]

Ya ... no ... I'm too heavy and not going to measure this month.

Even if potato chips are not as bad (in my mind) as sugar and/or grain, they're just too much. Can't do it.

OTOH ... DH made shish kababs on the bbq lat night. Fabulous! I encouraged him to keep trying to perfect them

[tooround]

Monday
1400 cals
67% fat
26% protein
7% carbs

Weed pulling but no formal exercise. I guess that's primal, yes?

I'm on my stint of evenings, so I'll be short sleep for a few days.
I'm working with this gal ... golly, how to describe her. She rattles on and on about "serious" flaws in nursing practice ... while staring at me (or whoever she's talking to I guess) I do not have the self esteem for this stuff. In all honesty, I don't like some of my new responsibilities ... not at all ... and I have not mastered them yet. I feel fragile and picked on ... and that she's at least partly right.
I, personally, would accompany a greener nurse and help her learn. Call me a fool .... all these years I could have been browbeating students instead of mentoring them. Yup, that's how awful I am, they give me students all the time.

My stress levels are pretty high. Sucks. Part time or casual is lookin' pretty good right now ... if it weren't for that pension plan.

I should check my blood pressure when I get to work. Apparently I haven't been primal long enough to repel stress like water off a ducks back.

[tooround]

Tuesday
1530 cals
62% fats
6% carbs
32% protein

25 minute walk and a weird little attempt at Tabata style elliptical.

I forgot all about taking my blood pressure yesterday.

I'm dissappointed in my scale this morning but I've never really considered the effect stress has on weight loss. I mean, I know about stress eating and sleeping poorly but as far as actually keeping weight?
My belly scratch test is much better this morning than it was yesterday but that's still a pretty soft fluffy belly for a gal my size.

I'm not going to be able to IF this morning. I'm hungry. There's coconut oil in my coffee and bacon a'cookin'. Maybe tomorrow ...

[tooround]

Wednesday ... was that only Wednesday?

1660 cals
70% fats
9% carbs
21% protein

I got into the creamed coconut I walked for some errands but it only added up to about 15 minutes.

I can small snack at supper! If I don't go to the cafeteria (I prefer to go outside and read) I don't sit at a table with others who are eating and I just don't feel like it. I had a peice of cheese and a pepperette and felt fine until I got home and had an apple with creamed coconut.

[tooround]

Thursday
1700 cals
51% fats
30% protein
12% carbs
7% alcohol

Friday
1200 cals
69% fats
20% protein
10% carbs

I'm not sure how long I walked yesterday. DS, grandbaby and I walked to meet DH for lunch and then we went shopping. Some of my walking involved bouncing down the street carrying a wiggling 2 year old

[tooround]

There is absolutely no good reason why I have been awake since shortly after 2 a.m.

Although I have time to write this morning ... I can't think of much to say.

I think I'm falling into complacency. CW dictates that when we reach a decent weight, we can relax a little. Is it any wonder that so many regain?
I think I thought that I understood optimal functioning and lifelong slender fitness. But in one post I spew about it and in the next post I talk about stress and eating potato chips with beer.
I'm stressed and depressed so I eat crap and forget my supplements?
Because my health is suffering I forget to do healthy things?
I'm only slim, not healthy yet.
Do I really know that I can be stronger, healthier, more resilient? Really know it ... or think it ought to be true should I ever decide to go for it. And if that is the case, what am I waiting for? Some time when I feel better ... duh!

I went to have a shower and a thought kept popping into my head "Sh*t or get off the pot". Do I really want to screw up and feel awful for a few days then spend the next few days clawing my way back only to keep doing it over and over again?

[tooround]

Slept much better! Almost 8 hours.

I will admit that I struggled with weariness a bit yesterday. But I knew what it was and didn't try to treat it with food. I was weary because I slept poorly not because I was hungry. When I got home from work I had a spoonful of creamed coconut and a nap. DH didn't get home until almost 7, by the time we ate it was almost time for bed.

1533 cals
47% fat
30% protein
22% carbs

20 minutes on the elliptical

[tooround]

I woke up this morning because I was hungry! Growling stomach hungry!
I did stop for eggs yesterday and have my bacon cooking. It's much more comfortable to skip lunch if that's what I have for breakfast.

Tuesday
2100 cals
64% fats
28% carbs
8% carbs

No extra exercise.

[tooround]

Darned near 2000 cals again yesterday.
66% fats
24% protein
10% carbs

Some mornings I come about this close to not bothering to make my bacon and eggs. It's not that I don't love eating them ... but cooking at 5 a.m. <sigh> A couple of days earlier this week, I tried a shake for breakfast but it's not the same.
I don't want to go to the cafeteria for lunch. I'd much rather sit quietly and read. In order to get my calm in the middle of the day, I have to cook breakfast. It's a trade-off I'm willing to make.

I almost left a snarky remark on a thread the other day. I don't usually do that. I'm not sure a slap in the side of yer foggin' head helps much ever. But seriously "I don't have time in the morning ..."? Prepare a bit before you go to bed and get up ten minutes earlier!
I work with a gal who drives about 12 minutes to work. There is major construction on her most direct route. Has been since April. She calls at least twice a week to say she's caught in traffic. Caught in construction! Who knew! How did that happen!?! I can't believe they haven't magically completed that road since yesterday when you were stuck in it!