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Thread: Stop Staring! :) (ok don't!) page

  1. #1
    LemonFreshScent's Avatar
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    Stop Staring! :) (ok don't!)

    Primal Fuel
    This might seem weird, but did anyone else struggle with accepting your hot self? As in struggle with getting more attention than you want?

    I was reading a different thread about more confidence and just now I'm feeling a little better about getting stared at... but especially women... how do you deal with men staring all the time.

    I'm really tall so that may make it worse.... Its not like we chose the bodies we were born with, and lots of people say they want it...

    but i don't know that they would... its kinda weird.

    How did you deal when you got hot and more attention than you need/want?

    I hope this doesn't make me sound like some kind of stuck up beeyotch lol... but i seriously wonder about this.

  2. #2
    lil_earthmomma's Avatar
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    I don't think it's stuck up, some people (ahem... me!) lurve attention, absolutely desire being the center of attention, while other's don't crave that, or are actually repulsed by the limelight.

    I can't give any advice, as I am a lover of the limelight, but wanted to chime in that it's not stuck up beeyotch behaviour.

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    elwyne's Avatar
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    I think it depends on the attention. If people are being creepy, you'll have to work up the guts to tell them to back off. (Serious biceps might help here.) If people are just being friendlier than you're accustomed to, or staring, well, practice accepting that you are a GODDESS and people want to be near you. (I am also tall & don't like being the center of attention. It takes some practice but you can learn to ignore it.)
    And most of all...
    ENJOY IT!


    ps my sister & I went to china a few years ago... there were people who had never seen a white person, let alone a blonde person, and no woman anywhere was more than 5'4. I must have been some kind of Amazon to them; I got to deal w/ staring, gasping, pointing, even touching. Just remember they've never seen anything like you before, and they probably never will again.

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    It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I've been known to go hide in the women's restroom.

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    Roberta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elwyne View Post
    ps my sister & I went to china a few years ago... there were people who had never seen a white person, let alone a blonde person, and no woman anywhere was more than 5'4. I must have been some kind of Amazon to them; I got to deal w/ staring, gasping, pointing, even touching. Just remember they've never seen anything like you before, and they probably never will again.
    I know what you mean. When I was in my 20's we went to Hawaii. The place where we stayed had a tour from Japan and I don't think any of them had ever seen a redhead before. They actually stopped me and took turns taking pictures posing with me. It was really embarrasing. They were really nice about it though.

    Other than that, I don't really know. I kind of think I would like to experience this, but I can totally understand it being uncomfortable. Maybe in a few months I can answer this question

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    cillakat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LemonFreshScent View Post
    This might seem weird, but did anyone else struggle with accepting your hot self? As in struggle with getting more attention than you want?
    Let me preface this by saying that my body is still a long ways off from hot.

    But, i've written a lot on MDA about this based on my past experiences. I struggled with this tremendously in my 20s and really, I never found a way to deal with it. Being both cute and very friendly/warm meant that many people got the wrong idea and I was constantly dealing with men who misinterpreted my eye contact or other signals. My way of dealing with it? I stopped looking at people, stopped talking to people and stopped being any kind of social, ever....for well over 10 years.

    My mood and energy have shifted back though and now as I loose weight and as my body composition changes, I'm getting attention again. It's kind of funny to me b/c while I have a good shape (vv hourglass & .7 htw ratio) I am definitely overweight and on a teensy frame....I'm 5' 1/2" tall and am one of those size 2-4...and even at that size, I am *not* too thin.

    Anyway, wrt the attention, it doesn't happen every day, but when it rains, it pours. Twice in the last two days I've had men approach me to tell me I have a beautiful voice. Seriously? That has never happened in my *life*. They heard me having conversations with others and approached me to tell me so. A few weeks ago, I had the oddest experience of a man at Target quite lavish me with complements in the checkout lane and jokingly ask me to marry him. He was seriously hot, incredibly fit and probably early 30s. And South African (*dies from the accent*). A week before that, I was getting wolf whistles and lots of "stop and stare" while walking through L5P (an atlanta neighborhood).

    So how am I dealing with it? I'm 40 now and realizing fully that my fertility (and therefore attractiveness) has at best a very short shelf-life at this point in time. I am absolutely enjoying it. I smile and keep going.....or a friendly laugh, giggle and "I'm flattered". If I feel like talking, I change the subject but continue the conversation....otherwise I keep moving, grateful that they shared their thoughts on my appearance.

    Dh isn't the least bit uncomfortable with the attention I'm getting, in fact quite the opposite: he loves it. He *loves* it. I didn't really 'get' that until recently. Until I understood that, I was exceptionally concerned with insuring that I didn't give the appearance of instigating others attentions.

    Now I'm happy to just be who I am and not worry about the agenda of any particular man. I'm flattered by the attention and take in what it's telling me, but it doesn't define me or, finally, make me uncomfortable.



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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by cillakat View Post

    Now I'm happy to just be who I am and not worry about the agenda of any particular man. I'm flattered by the attention and take in what it's telling me, but it doesn't define me or, finally, make me uncomfortable.
    Thats what I probably needed to read . I'm turning 38 this year so there is definately a shelf life ... But from the looks of Mark's wife... it looks like being hot can last into your 50s!

    Here's to being hot granny's!

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemonFreshScent View Post
    Thats what I probably needed to read . I'm turning 38 this year so there is definately a shelf life ... But from the looks of Mark's wife... it looks like being hot can last into your 50s!
    Oh the benefits of HRT. And yes, I will be doing bio-identical hrt at the first sign that it's appropriate.



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    cillakat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TigerLily View Post
    It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I've been known to go hide in the women's restroom.
    I used to as well. But that was in any social situation :/

    *hugs you*

    Now I'm embracing it instead



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    I'm 6'7", I've been stared at pretty much my whole life. My one friend told me he preferred to walk behind me in the university halls because then he got to see all the people turn and point and such when i walked by.

    Played football with a guy who's 6'6", he didn't like walking with me in the halls cause he didn't like the attention he got on his own let alone when there were two "freaks" walking together.
    I didn't like the rules you gave me, so I made some of my own.

    Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general. - Mark Rippetoe

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