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Thread: My 6-year total personal transformation (includes some paleo as well) :) page

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    Rushie's Avatar
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    My 6-year total personal transformation (includes some paleo as well) :)

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    Hi everyone!

    I rarely see personal success stories posted here that put self-analysis and working on yourself as the basis for fat loss and personal transformations. Well, my story IS based on that so consider it an alternate take to the age-old story.

    I will be the first to admit that my transformation (see pic below) will never count among the more dramatic ones - from the physical standpoint. The reason for this is that it was never meant to be that one-dimensional (just about losing weight) but was instead designed to be as comprehensive, multi-dimensional and sustainable as possible. I set out to build a man, not an image.

    I really had no other choice because when I started it all back in 2009, I was a real mess. I was over 30 years old and still a virgin (and horribly ashamed of that fact) who felt inferior to almost anyone, was constantly comparing myself to others, was still living with my parents, had no self-esteem, was disgusted with my body (those horrible man boobs!), was terribly burdened by what others thought of me, couldn’t bear other people even touching me and didn’t even dare talking to others, especially girls. Instead, I avoided interacting with people outside my work and was a painfully shy and chronically masturbating recluse, confined to my room. I had no plans and just wandered aimlessly through life. And on and on and on...

    What changed it all for me is that one day I just had enough, sat down and decided to perform an in-depth self-analysis of me. I had enough of spinning my wheels, going around in circles, of one step forward, one step back type of no progress. I had to change things around for good and the only thing I could see how was to take a long hard look at myself and all my failings. It was pretty brutal, the picture of me then (and even more so once it was written down on paper in front of me). It was doubly depressing when I compared who I was back then to who I wanted to be (my desired self). The difference was massive.

    But I guess taking that long hard look at myself also meant embracing my fear of my situation (that it was beyond hopeless) and I could clearly see that it wasn't all hopeless, that there was hope, if I was prepared to put in the work.

    Something clicked inside my head and I finally understood that a true personal transformation always begins on the inside. Until then I had always focused just on trying to lose weight/fat, trying to force myself to exercise more, thinking I would become more confident if I lost enough fat (or gain enough muscle) and look good. Now, I finally understood that it was the other way around: only when I became more confident with myself, in my own skin, would I start losing weight effortlessly and permanently and start looking better and better. Don’t ever base your self-confidence (just) on having a great body – that was the gist of it.

    So after 15 years of wasting my life (pissing away my entire 20s) and then another 5 years of trying (and failing) to get my life under control, it finally all clicked and I managed to get myself on track. Once I started focusing my transformation from the inside-out, instead of outside-in, great things started to happen and I went:

    • From 200+ pound fatty to a much leaner, fitter and stronger 160-165 pounder
    • From a 30-year old virgin to a happily married, sexually active man just 3 years later
    • From feeling inferior to everyone to feeling equal to anyone
    • From being my worst enemy to being my best friend
    • From insecure, negative individual who trusted no one to an open, much more positive person with much greater self-belief and trust in other people
    • From being a prisoner of my secrets to not giving a f*** (for the most part)
    • From someone aimlessly wandering though life, not knowing what to do with himself to someone who has his life under complete control (including my food and weight)
    • Etc., etc., etc.

    My transformation was a long time in the making but I achieved most of what I set out to do. I now have a very solid foundation in place to keep improving myself every day for the rest of my life. I am a completely transformed man and I am very proud of what I had achieved. I’ve learned and am learning a whole lot and now I want to inspire others and help them in my own way to achieve their comprehensive personal transformations – the way I wish I had been helped when I first started.

    So if you have any questions, I’ll be here to answer as much of them as I can with 100% honesty (or you can send me a PM if you like). If you want to read more of my story, click here:

    2cupsofwisdom

    For those especially interested in the nutrition part of my transformation (as I said, it is decidedly paleoish and paleo certainly helped me balance out my metabolism), you can find my nutrition lessons boiled down to 12 essential tips in this free e-book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U32QM6G

    Last but not least, thank you for reading.

    Damjan
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    Rushie's Avatar
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    BTW here is how I did it in a nutshell (the template that worked best for me):

    1. First and foremost I did a thorough self-analysis: looking at myself with brutal honesty and working on accepting myself as I was, with all my faults,

    2. On the basis of that self-analysis I set my overall (long-term) goals and my short-term goals (neither of which I quantified or specified – do NOT quantify your short-term goals, especially)

    3. I made sure to set comprehensive range of goals (body-related, health-related, related to improving relationships with others, related to improving relationship with yourself,...) – don’t just focus on body-related goals!

    4. I set myself 8-12 week cycles where I tried to follow my nutrition, training and self-improvement plans as closely as possible (I focused mainly on accepting myself unconditionally, on working on relationship with myself, on executing the process instead of chasing end goals and I chased mostly process-driven goals)

    5. I always made sure to have a new plan (for the next 8-12 week cycle) ready before my current plan finished

    6. I started resistance training for real (lifting weights) and said eff off to cardio.

    7. I worked on balancing my metabolism by basing my meals on protein, eating carbs mostly around my training and eating a lot of fat, plus I started counting (tracking) my calories.

    8. Consistency, consistency, consistency!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushie View Post
    Once I started focusing my transformation from the inside-out, instead of outside-in, great things started to happen
    I couldn't have said this better myself. I think that this wisdom only comes with age and experience. I watch my children struggle with this and I hope that they figure it out soon because no amount of Mom telling them will be able to get through to them.

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    MarielleGO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushie
    only when I became more confident with myself, in my own skin, would I start losing weight effortlessly and permanently and start looking better and better. Don’t ever base your self-confidence (just) on having a great body – that was the gist of it.
    It is funny how you wrote this on the day I really realized this...
    For years I have been thinking and believing that happiness would come once I had that great strong body. However that body never came. it only got worse and worse and worse...
    Yesterday I finally realized that first I have to learn to be happy with who I am and what I am today and then any improvement will just be a bonus...

    Thanks for writing this down.
    Your pictures aren't proved yet but I'm sure that you are just radiating health and happiness these days
    My story, My thought....

    It's all about trying to stay healthy!!!!

    Calories? Aren't that those little creatures that live in my closet and shrink my clothes at night?
    AN EARTH WARRIOR!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferO View Post
    I couldn't have said this better myself. I think that this wisdom only comes with age and experience. I watch my children struggle with this and I hope that they figure it out soon because no amount of Mom telling them will be able to get through to them.
    It is frustrating for me too these days when I see people struggling to figure this out. But then I have to constantly remind myself that I had to make a ton of mistakes along the way to get to that realization. As you said: age and experience.

    I guess in the end it's all about being proactive. As long as you dare to try and are willing to fail and pick yourself up when you (inevitably) do, you will get there eventually.

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    Rushie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarielleGO View Post
    It is funny how you wrote this on the day I really realized this...
    For years I have been thinking and believing that happiness would come once I had that great strong body. However that body never came. it only got worse and worse and worse...
    Yesterday I finally realized that first I have to learn to be happy with who I am and what I am today and then any improvement will just be a bonus...

    Thanks for writing this down.
    Your pictures aren't proved yet but I'm sure that you are just radiating health and happiness these days
    Thank you very much for your kind words, Marielle. I certainly struggled with that realization for years and years. We're just so bombarded with these images of great looking people looking happy etc. that we just internalize that if we looked like that or similar that we will automatically be happy and accepted by others. In truth, we will never be truly accepted by others until we accept ourselves as we are. Because until we are able to accept ourselves as we are and without conditions (I have to be at a certain weight to accept myself, etc.), how can we accept others unconditionally?


    I don't know how this picture thing works but if you want to see the pic I posted, it is also here:
    2cupsofwisdom

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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Also in general I think we need to speak and talk more about this "internal" struggle. There is just too much focus on what to eat and how to exercise properly to lose weight/fat that what truly matters (the relationship with self) gets forgotten about and ignored. Now, I know this is also because it takes a lot more work to do it from the inside-out but what worthwhile thing in life doesn't require a lot of work to achieve and then maintain?

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