Need Support! Loving this life but not losing weight! page

[AndreAnna]

Bare with me, this may be long but I could really use your help.

Ok, let's start with some background. I'm a 29 yo female, 5'7 currently 214 lbs. I was very obese (over 300 lbs) when I graduated college 8 years ago. I was also diagnosed PCOS at age 14 and have been on birth control since (with the exception of going off to conceive my two children).

Something changed one day and I decided I didn't want to be fat. So I hired a trainer, went to WW, and lost 120 pounds in three years and got married at 180 lbs - which is my healthy happy weight (I was only 19% body fat and happy there).

I gained close to 80 pounds with BOTH kids, which means I lost and gained tons of weight in a short period of time. That's just not a normal amount of weight to gain with any pregnancy and the time frame was so narrow for such staggering gains and losses.

After this second baby (who just turned two this weekend), no matter how low cal or low-fat I would go, the weight would not stay off. Any weight lost was regained the second I ate more than 1200 calories or anything sugary. I started looking to Atkins in sheer desperation because nothing was working anymore. But I couldn't get past the part where I couldn't eat fruit or as many veggies as I wanted and in one thread in a post, someone mentioned The Primal Blueprint.

I bought the book, read it the same day, and drastically changed my life. I feel amazing. My husband and I both have been fully Primal (the exception is we do eat minimal full-fat dairy) for the last month. I also just started CrossFit last week along with my 2-3 times a week of leisure walking or biking.

I haven't had a sugar or a grain in four weeks and don't miss them a bit. I have tons of energy and feel awesome. I have also started IF a few times a week, with an eating window from 2-7 pm to try and amp up my body's healing process and metabolism.

So here's the issue: I know I should be happy with how great I feel. HOWEVER, I am STILL 214 pounds and that is NOT OK for a woman. I am built large (father born/raised in Germany) but I don't want to be 110 pounds, I want to be 160-180 - I don't think that's a lofty goal! I'd even like to see the scale move a tiny bit, but alas no.

There have been physical changes (you can see some before/after pics here) but I want the weight to move. I'm trying to be patient but 4 weeks of no loss just plain sucks, especially when my husband has lost 25 lbs in the same span.

And I know I could be building lean muscle while losing fat and you can tell by the pictures that my body IS rearranging, but still.. has anyone experienced this?

Am I just so screwed up from my whole life that I'm unfixable? I don't plan on changing the way I eat because of all of the other health benefits, but I would love to finally get back into those clothes packed away in my closet or see the scale give me a number that doesn't start with a 2.

Also, My blood tests have all been okay - thyroid, sugars, etc. I am on birth control and Metformin for the PCOS.

I'm sad. Sad I feel like I've ruined my body and sad that I feel like I'm being punished for a lifetime of bad choices.

Am I just too broken?

[dfast]

Persevere - the damage some of us have done to ourselves will take a while to heal.

I was 180lbs when I was 13 years old...and at 5 foot tall at the time, I was practically spherical! This weight stayed with me for a couple of years until I became vegan and ate only carbohydrates (seriously - some days I would have a coffee and a cigarette for breakfast, some chips/fries for lunch and then pasta with a tomato sauce for dinner). I lost weight, yes, but became 'skinny fat' - my skin was pale and my metabolism shot to pieces from trying to starve the weight off (numerous days of no eating and drinking nothing but heavily sweetened black coffee and smoking cigarettes in an effort to lose weight).

I'm 22 now, hover around 135-140lbs and have a decent amount of muscle mass. I feel like I've finally undone the damage that I did to myself - it's taken a while, and indeed it took quite a while of primal eating to see any results, but now they're here and showing themselves I couldn't be happier. I'm left with a few stretch marks, especially on my legs, but these fade and my skin is always improving.

Good luck, and keep going - things will even out eventually.

[iniQuity]

It will take some time but it will happen, it's inevitable. I didn't lose much at first either, and I actually never lost rapidly, it started and it was steady and I'm thankful for that. Primal living is now about much more than just weight loss. Let time do its thing.

[chipdogwa]

You are obviously losing lots of fat. Why worry about what the scale says? Would you be happier if you looked worse but the scale said less? To have such a transformation in so little time is absolutely amazing. Embrace it! The scale will move eventually.

[gottaluvalab]

My two cents:

For me, I've found that the plateaus on this plan are nearly interminable--but then a pound or two or four will just go away. And sometimes one or two will come back. But for me (at 244ish, down more than 50 pounds), the trend over time has been steadily down.

Hang in there. Maybe count calories for a few days to make sure you aren't overdoing it, maybe weigh and measure your high-calorie foods. But if you're not fooling yourself on calories, forget about it and carry on for a while.

[Carnivore]

You are obviously losing lots of fat. Why worry about what the scale says? Would you be happier if you looked worse but the scale said less? To have such a transformation in so little time is absolutely amazing. Embrace it! The scale will move eventually.

ITA. You are definitely losing fat and I'd guess that you are gaining muscle thus neutralizing the "weight loss."

I rarely weigh myself. You said you FEEL great. I do too and that is huge for me. How are your clothes fitting? I judge my "weight" by how my clothes feel. I can't say that I felt bad about NEEDING to go shopping for clothes because I was swimming in my existing wardrobe.

[Victoria]

Don't worry, you are not the only one wanting to see the scale go down. I lost about 4lbs but now the scale keeps oscillating between 183 and 185lbs. However people have been commenting on my skin and how much smaller my waist is looking. I'm trying to rely on that, and how good I feel, rather than the scale (which often can be wrong). I understand how you feel though, it can be depressing, especially when your other half is losing so quickly. I believe that men lose weight faster than women because they have more muscle mass to begin with.

So keep eating primally, double check your calorie intake, and enjoy your Crossfit. Maybe even try some other exercises too (weight lifting, yoga, dancing etc ...) just to keep things interesting. From the pictures it is obvious you are losing fat so keep doing what you are doing and eventually the scale will move.

[AndreAnna]

Thanks guys! I know that feeling good should trump it all but as a woman at over 200 pounds, it just doesn't. I have no intention of changing anything because of how I do feel and of course I'd rather be 214 and feel good than 214 and feel shitty like I did eating sugars and grains.

My clothes fit better but aren't any looser yet - they just look better on my body. I'm lucky that because I'm built tall and muscular that I carry the 214 well but I worry about the long-term effects of carrying around so much weight for so long, on my heart and my joints, supplements or not, as well as the metabolic response.

[PoisonApple]

It might be stress related too. I didn't realize how much stress effected me until this month. I lost about 10 pounds in 6 months. Then on June 1st I got my 5 year old stepson (until July 30th) and in just a month and a half I went from 180 to 194. Once I saw the problem, I've been working on fixing it. It could be a factor

[jennf]

Wow, the difference in your pictures is amazing! You can see that you are losing fat and toning up. I understand the need to see the scale move (mine hasn't moved in a while, either), but I suggest you try something else. If you want measurable results, pull out the tape measure! Measure your bust, waist, belly (2" below your navel) hips, thighs, calves, neck and upper arm. The measure yourself again in a month. If you keep going the way you are, your measurements will be lower, and you'll have the positive feedback you're looking for.

Check out this thread to see how little weight matters as opposed to fitness. About halfway down the first page Batty posted 2 pictures of her at the same weight and difference is amazing (hope you don't mind me posting this, Batty!) I refer to this whenever I get too hung up on the numbers.