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Thread: Making babies Primal style page 4

  1. #31
    NorthernMonkeyGirl's Avatar
    NorthernMonkeyGirl is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Hi

    Just reading through your posts I'm amazed and pleased at how far you've come already.... to put it in perspective, I've been here a year (eek!) and still working through tendencies to binge / comfort eat.
    I've not been in your position of trying for a baby but I want to avoid the glib comments that can sometimes crop up. I'm sorry it's not happened for you yet, but I'm sure your body will "know" when it's ready.

    A few victories really jumped out at me (out of the loads that you have!) - I think you should maybe cast your eye back, see your successes when you get a bit down?

    ...and figured that if I didn't eat for the rest of the day that I could recover from this attrocious behaviour. then at 1pm I decided to make a consciencous decision to start being pro-active. I got some meatloaf with bacon and some roast beef....
    I have eatten more than I planned to, however I feel I made some good choices and therefore I am not too bothered about the intake.
    I would rather opt for some nice fruit or a tomatoe or a chunk of cucumber but not chocolate.
    I had the 20g (2 chunks) of dark choc and yes I could eat some more but to be honest I am not going to. I am learning that two wrongs don't make a right.
    If you glance at my journal you'll see every other post "falling off the wagon", making elaborate plans, breaking those plans.... you're doing fantastically.
    And three cheers for walking the dog!

    PS - happy belated birthday

  2. #32
    Gumdrop's Avatar
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    Wow, thank you northernmonkeygirl. I had never looked at it like that. I wish I had readyour post first thing this mornign as I have had an absolute shocker of a day.

    Okay stand by your beds and get your ears on (or should I say eyes ready). I will tell you my stuffed up thinking first and then rattle off the long and very undistinguished list of food that I have put down my throat.

    Reason (more like excuse). Firstly totally gutted would be an utter understatement, I am really trying not to swear but I was that upset that I managed to sob myself to sleep - pitiful. This meant that I was tired and lacking in salts, so to speak. Then I manage to make some real bad decisions. I decided to 'punish' myself for one reason or another, so I opted for just an apple for breakfast after doing an 1hr walk with the dog (usual 6kms). My plan was to then follow it up with an apple for lunch and a salad for dinner. I figured if I ate 250 calories today then that would make me a good person. Yep I know stuffed up thinking. Then the morning meeting with those damned nutritionalists. These guys need to be taken out back and shot. Chocolates, toffees, sweeties you name it and it was waved under my nose. So I ate another apple and another and another to kill of the urge, but it didn't work as now my mind was thinking 'you pig you have eatten four apples' so the next thing I realised I was doing was tucking into the sweeties. Come lunch time I thought I could salvage it but no a lunch time meeting at a bistro had me stuffedup. So I opted for a chicken curry and just ate the chicken out of it. Back to the office and now I was utterly peeved with myself and spiralling into the self hate whirlpool. Come dinner time I was able to claw some dignity back and had a prawn salad with 2 rashers of bacon and a boiled egg. This was satisfyingly good, but then the husband tempted me with a cornetto and a jam sandwich later on. Yep stuffed up good and proper. I have to say this is way harder than I had ever expected. Why do i struggle with this, it is so simple. Do I need to sew my gob closed or something. Even now I am food hunting. This has to stop, am I happy with my current weight = oh hell no, am I happy with my current dress size = of hell no, am I happy with my body composition = oh hell no. Is eatting like this making any positive steps towards my goals = oh hell no. so habit is to be dropped. That is what it is, a habit. My eatting habits equate to smoking, I need to give this pooh up.'
    What didn't help and hurt me so much was that yesterday I walked into to a pyschic and the forst thing she sad to me was that I was pregnant, so much so that she was insistant that I take the test and phone her today. Hmmmm I won't ask her for the lottery numbers. I felt like I had disappointed every one, my husband and my mum. This is silly but it was how I felt. I managed to sit down and discuss this thinking with the bog lad and he explained that a family is like the lottery, if it happens then that is great, life changingly perfect. If not then that is okay we will still be happy and not lose sleep over it. Silly I know but today I feel like such a helpless little girl. I want to hide in a corner until everything is okay and then come out again. I don't want to see people that I know as I don't want them to be dissappointed in me for putting on weight. Such non productive thinking. May be i need a new wardrobe to take my mind off of the clothes I can't wear.

    Tomorrow is a new day. Lets see what can be achieved.

    xxxx

  3. #33
    Gumdrop's Avatar
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    Hello all,

    I have been very quiet for the last few days. So much has been happening and so much to talk about.

    Where to start, food:-
    What a mess up. I have eaten everything anti primal. I am not going to catelogue my menu for the last few days but needless to say that I was easily doing over 3000 calories a day and it was all terrible food. I found that I couldn't walk past anything with out stuffing it in my face. I couldn't say no to something and it all started off from poor planning and dia-choices. I noticed that I was craving with vile ferosity the sweet stuff, but it was a particular sweetie, not chocolate (my obvious favourite) and not bread products (that I expected). This made me start to think that if the acid reflux that I have been experiencing is not a candida build up in my gut. I actually went to see a doctor. I am rather picky about my doctor, but i couldn't get into see her so I went to her off-sider. This new doctor was extremely laid back and gave the impression that he really couldn't care. However he was a surprise. It turns out that both his Mum (a pysch) and his Aunty (also a Doc) both have anorexia in one format or another. He explained how this is going to be something that I am going to have to deal with this one way or another for the rest of my life. This was quite a relief as I kept getting caught up on being 'well', being 'fixed'. If I am not going to achieve this 100% then I am going to stop stressing about it. Also he gave me blood tests for diabetes (I know I exhibit all the symptoms of diabetes, but thankfully I don't have it - however these last blood tests will confirm this), and blood tests for coeliacs disease and gluten intolerances. I will get the results in a few days. He also gave me some tablets to get rid of the candida.

    I am feeling far more settled now, and since taking the candida tablets I feel a lot better. I am able to walk past sweet food and I am not interested in it, I am able to control myself. I like this feeling. I realise that a good part of this is probably pyschosomatic, however if it works lets go with it.

    The last two days I have been very controlled and I am happy.
    Yesterday:-
    Breakfast - 2 boiled eggs with a dash of salt (mmm very tasty)
    Lunch - Subway salad veggie delight
    Dinner - chicken breast, dijonnaisse, 1 cup of salad
    Exercise - 1 hr walk at about 6kms

    Today:-
    Breakfast - 2 boiled eggs with a dash of salt, 5g Goji berries
    Lunch - 1 cup salad
    Dinner - chicken breast, dijonnaisse, 1 cup of salad
    Snack - some sugar free licorice (won't be eatting that stuff again, it gave me a bad stomach ache)
    Exercise - 2 x 1hr walk at about 6kms

    Exercise. Oh yes. I love exercise. Will post again.

    xxxx

  4. #34
    Gumdrop's Avatar
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    Hello all,
    What an awesome time. My parents arrived, my mum and step dad live in UK and I live in Australia and this is awesome that they are visiting. Now you know why I really wanted to be pregnant before they arrived as it would be one of the only chances that mum could experience her only daughter pregnant, if that makes sense.

    Any way moving on. I have been really surprised and happy that my body has started working with me.

    Yesterday
    Breakfast - 2 boiled eggs, 5 goji berries
    Lunch - 1 cup salad
    Dinner - fillet steak, salad
    Exercise - 1hr walk 6kms, 2hrs food shopping, 40mins mopping and vacuuming, 30 mins easy house cleaning

    Today
    Breakfast - 2 eggs, bacon, 1/2 grilled tomato
    Lunch - IF
    Dinner - cold roast beef, boiled egg, salad
    Exercise - 3hrs at 2.5kms per hour

    Oh I am happy, yep, happy I am. Oh I think I need to add some avocado, I like it and it is good.

    xxxx
    Last edited by Gumdrop; 08-01-2010 at 11:21 PM.

  5. #35
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    Another awesome day. Why didn't I go primal years ago - BP where have you been all my life.

    Today I felt a little hungry so I appeased my hunger with good stuff, I feel great.

    Breakfast - bacon, 2 boiled eggs, grilled tomatoe, mushroom
    Lunch - cold roast beef, pear (I didn't plan for any lunch, but I was hungry so I nibbled on some cold roast beef and when I was still a bit peckish and seeing I was fancying something naughty I had a pear.
    Dinner - Round beef steak, salad
    Exercise - 1hr walk (6kms per hour), 2hrs walk (2.5kms per hour), 1hr walk (2.5kms per hour)

    I love exercising, it makes me feel alive.

    xxxx

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