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  1. #1
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
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    Wednesday Is The Day!

    Primal Fuel
    It's not very original, but I was born on a Wednesday. And though I have trouble spelling it un-phonetically (or avoiding the literary faux pas of starting sentences with 'And') it was a good enough excuse to renounce any hand I had in writing 'Monday Is The Day' and pretend like I've got it all figured out on a different thread.

    But really... I need to declutter my life, my ideals and my belief system when it comes to beauty, identity and nutrition.

    Gosh, how dramatic, all those nouns together like that in one sentence.
    But right now, it's all I've got.

    I'm secluded (<-- it's a euphemism for friendless), have time on my hands (<-- this is a euphemism for royally stranded and fucked until I figure it out) and I'm recovering from a brutal and cruel attack on my well-being, sanity and self-esteem (not a euphemism for anything).

    I guess I need the lists and analyses to keep the delusion of self-control alive.

    [And as for other delusions: Maybe one day, following an atomic apocalypse, someone will find this journal and mistakenly assume it portrays the fears, emotions and goals of a typical female of that era. I can become a case study! My journal will be quoted alongside scientific texts about neuroticism and the effects of mass culture consumption on the female psyche! They might even dig up my decrepit bones and hypothesize that the femur indentations are indicative of a poor self esteem... The fame...! The infamy!

    Maybe not.

    At the very least (and much more likely), some awe-struck 23 year old might find this journal and go, "Shit, I've been doing it all wrong. Maybe this will work..."]

    I'm neurotic, but I'll no longer apologize for it. I think it's part of my charm, as well as being all the things I once thought were my biggest weaknesses. So, it's no wonder I'd revert to logging my food and micronutrients and my measurements and my weight and count any active blemishes. I really hope this time I'll be able to recognize that this is neither a mark of success or failure.

    I'm going to change and adapt my dietary goals and rules according to the work of Mark Sisson, Ari Whitten, Lyle McDonald, Ray Medina (only for a bit), Natasha McBride MD, Ray Peat PhD, Martin Berkhan and anyone else whose words will resonate with me along the way.

    Wait, I've forgot to include another expert on whose every word I'll be hanging on:
    Me. Myself. I.

    Goals for Right Now:
    => Start losing weight consistently.
    => Improve skin.
    => Get rid of insomnia.
    => Get more energy.

    I have no scale but I'll tape-measure myself tomorrow. I think, for me personally, striving to be the 'recommended weight' is a recipe for obsession and depression.

    Here are my goals instead:

    Measurement Goals:
    => Waist: around 28''
    => Hips: around 38" (or 7.5-8.0 H-to-W ratio)
    => Bust: about an inch apart from hips

    These are roughly the measurements I had when I was between 125-135lbs; it's when I felt best and my weight was the most stable, meaning I could eat or I could diet and my weight would stay in that range without undue suffering. According to tidbits from my diary, it's during this time when the biggest influx of inappropriate male commentary was documented ;D
    >> I need a graph for this! <<

    Looking back, I'm not sure why I tried to go lower than the lowest of that spectrum. If my measurements were the same on 135 and 125 (or maybe an inch apart, but starting to mess with the golden hourglass ratio) why would I try so hard to go lower? (Oh. Yeah. Because I knew girls who were my weight and were 5'10, and I thought that that meant I was somehow not normal/ pretty...)



    Starting Measurements & Weight:
    173.8Lbs
    B: 39" W: 32.5" H: 42" T: 43" S: 45" A: 14"

    Diet Rules for Right Now:
    => *Try* to eat within an 8 hour window.
    => Limit PUFAs.
    => Limit or prepare adequately any grains, nuts, seeds.
    => Stay away from gluten.
    => Have two planned snacks a week.

    Ideal Micronutrient Ratio:
    Protein 80-100g
    Carbs 50-75g
    Fat 30-50g
    1,500 Cals.

    But I'm far more concerned about getting specific nutrients or limiting/ avoiding or eating specific foods. I'll do whatever works.

    Sleep:
    OF OUTMOST IMPORTANCE!
    => 8-9 hours a night.
    => 12am-8/9am

    Nutrients, Vitamins & Minerals :
    (Which I will illustrate in song lyrics...!)

    => Calcium 1,200-1,500mg

    "All New York has lost its power/ And the milk is going sour/ But to me it's not that scary/ 'Cause I stay away from dairy..."

    => Magnesium 750mg

    "Oh, I can't sleep/ I've been up all night long/ Just waitin' on the sun/ I've given up, damn the dawn/ It ain't never gonna come"

    => D3 5,000IU +20-30m in the sun or 10,000IU

    "Sun is shining, the weather is sweet/ Make you want to move your dancing feet/ To the rescue, here I am/
    Want you to know, y'all, where I stand"


    => Potassium 2,300mg.

    Sadly I have no song relating to potassium. Unless you count this one...



    => Coffee, salt, sugar and dark chocolate, which I make sure to take every day as they are essential nutrients.
    <<That's right. I said it.>>

    Movement:
    => I do very embarrassing things like walking in place while reading off my Kindle.
    => If I can't walk (and type, for example) I stand.
    => I go for a walk after dinner.
    => One day I hope to get enough energy to start some strength training and sprinting (on a stationary bike).

    That's all I have to say. Probably to no one in particular. (I doubt anyone reads this stuff.)
    But I have to be okay with obscurity (the alternative seems to cause pain, more often than not).

    How can I not start this journal with a song detailing love, pain, sorrow and hope?
    Only one man can write a song like that.

    Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 09-11-2014 at 05:47 PM.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  2. #2
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    Sleep:
    Woke up late, which derailed my entire day. I keep under-estimating how important it is to maintain a true circadian sleep rhythm.

    It's a vicious cycle that goes somewhat like this: First you stay a little late to watch a mindless reality TV with oompa loompa coloured bachelors chasing oompa loompa coloured bachelorettes on a hot, sandy beach. Then you can't sleep. Then you make some popped DEVIL FOOD* and you watch the latest TV abominations (though, the Brits have been doing some quality work lately, with Utopia and Afterlife, and Orphan Black and Black Mirror [if you have trouble staying away from pig PUFAs, the pilot episode should keep it under control at least a few days...]). Then you can't sleep at all. Then you wake up at 2pm. Then you feel like crap. Then you go to sleep even later. Soon enough you're weeks behind on your exercises... You get terrible insomnia, you get fatter and fatter, and you keep eating DEATH**, and you can't keep a steady job. You turn to drugs, prostitution. You even consider joining a gang and becoming a killer for hire. Then one day, you look yourself in the mirror and you think, "Is it all worth it?" and you know what happens next. They find your body 3 weeks later, with your eyeballs missing (you have cats btw, so that should explain it.)

    Anyway.
    Just DON'T DO IT. Don't go to sleep late. It's not worth it.

    ---
    *I've replaced DEVIL FOOD with corn, for your Primal convenience here.
    **I've replaced the word DEATH for PUFA fried food here.

    Eat:
    Eating window: 3pm-11pm. <-- THIS FAILED. More like: 3pm-4am eating window.
    Ate popcorn yesterday which I'm paying for with sluggishness and brain fog.
    Ate potatoes, an egg, a piece of bacon sauteed in butter. Had a cup of coffee.
    Chicken soup with gizzards, hearts and livers, pork tendons and snow fungus.
    A 70% Aero Chocolate bar as a snack.
    Pilaf and 2 fried eggs as midnight snack...

    Energy: 2,280 Cals.
    Protein: 132.3 g
    Carbs: 209.0 g
    Fat: 103.9 g

    Holy Macros...! My micronutrients are definitely out of whack. The snacking and hunger doesn't happen when I sleep adequately!

    Move:
    Walked for an hour and a half.

    Skin:
    It has improved dramatically when I finally threw out an entire keg's-worth of makeup and skin care
    and replaced it with a few great products from Paula's Choice. My pores are smaller, my blackheads have diminished, my face is no longer red and my skin tone is even. I swear the annoying fine line under my eye (yes, just the one) is gone.
    >>Would attach a picture but that requires a lot of cellphone-to-laptop maneuvering which I'm too lazy to do.

    Sun:
    Note, I wear SPF ALL OVER out of fear of melting into a puddle of Ukrainian goo, and this regular, in-shade, pre-noon lounging has already earned me some freckles and pinkness on the shoulders. Someone needs to patent summer-time winter clothing for people like me.

    Supplement:
    Coffee, Salt, Sugar, Cocoa: Yes. 70% Aero bar and a glass of Lipton Pure Leaf. I also use Lo Salt for my salt and it has 65% Potassium and 35% Sodium.

    Magnesium: Forgot today. Only about 250mg from food.

    Potassium: A good amount! 3,000mg.

    Calcium: Augh...! Not getting enough. 300mg. I need to supplement. I 'stay away from dairy' purely out of habit. Now that I've limited the usual suspects I tolerate dairy a lot better.

    D3:
    Sun + 5,000IU.

    Cool. Now DANCE!
    Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 09-09-2014 at 06:13 AM.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  3. #3
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    It's my grandma's 75th birthday today.
    I've stayed up all night to have a very limited and awkward conversation with her on Skype.

    I'm trying to stay up in order to re-set my sleep schedule, but that never works.
    Christ. I always fall back into this nasty habit.
    Next time anyone tries to delay my bedtime past 10pm will suffer the wrath of my grapes.

    Sleep:
    None.

    Eat:
    Coffee, smoked salmon, avocado, tomato, potato, fried egg. Pure Leaf Tea.
    Borscht. Popcorn (again) with butter.

    Energy: 1740 kcal / 1500 kcal (116%)
    Protein: 70.5 g / 80.0 g (88%)
    Carbs: 161.2 g / 60.0 g (269%) <-- THE HELL?! I'm NOT A MARATHONER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Fat: 95.6 g / 30.0 g (319%)


    Move:
    Short walk.

    Skin:
    Bah. Didn't even wash it.

    Supplement:
    Coffee, Salt, Sugar, Cocoa: Sort of.
    Magnesium: 200mg.
    Potassium: 2,400mg.
    Calcium: 110mg.
    D3: Forgot. But got some sun.
    Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 09-10-2014 at 01:17 PM.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    MEeaaatttyyy

    It took me a couple of months to get my sleep schedule from after midnight-6:30AM ish (always slept in and was getting into work later than intended) to 10:30 PM - 6/6:30 AM. It's rough. It takes time. You'll get it!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #5
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
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    Thanks for stopping by Namelesswonder!

    Yeah... It does take that long. With exercise it's about 6 months of consistent suffering until you actually feel like you need to do it, and with sleep it's *at least* a month.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  6. #6
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
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    Sleep:
    Augh. For the life of everything Primal and good.
    I went to sleep at 10pm and woke up at 2pm today! What is it, like 14 hours of sleep? Why?
    Who needs that much sleep? Why do I sleep and eat as much as an adolescent caterpillar?!
    Just.
    Why...

    I don't have much luck with online shoping lately. First, Pur Minerals sent me the wrong colour. Then they ignored me for a week.
    Then they apologized and said they'll send me the actual colour I ordered. The shipment is still pending and they're ignoring me again.

    Same with ElectricalBody.com who haven't shipped anything since last week. I can't imagine they're busy...

    I'm frustrated. Things seem to come in threes (so, I probably should prepare myself for some money being stolen from my bank account ;D).

    Eat:
    Ground beef, bits of veggies: spinach, tomato, zucchini, mushroom, peppers; in butter. Some salsa, 1/2 SML avocado and 10% Greek yogurt. Coffee.
    A subway cookie <==?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?
    A bite of my bf's subway MLT sub <=========!@@$#$@#$@$@!@
    A can of Nestea green tea.<=== If I didn't know any better I'd stay away from sugary drinks. But. Yeah.

    Move:
    A 40 minute walk.

    Skin:
    I guess I spoke too soon...

    Broke out around my mouth thanks to my Shimmering-Ultra-Super-Brilliant-Whitening toothpaste which doesn't actually work.
    Last time I was brushing my teeth and left the foam around my mouth for more than a minute and that entire area was red.
    My herb-based non-fluoride tooth paste actually whitens my teeth better. Go figure.
    But because I'm broke, I'm gonna have to finish it, so I'm alternating.

    Supplement:
    Coffee, Salt, Sugar, Cocoa: Only coffee and salt.
    Magnesium: 300mg.
    Potassium: --
    Calcium: --
    D3: Took 10,000IU just in case.

    I took my measurements and there's absolutely no change. It obviously upset me, though I'm trying think about it rationally. It takes a lot longer to lose inches than actual weight. Still, I'm buying a scale today so I can fine-tune my diet and see if there's a weight change.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    LATE NIGHT REFLECTIONISM:

    I really have to start taking this shit seriously...
    I don't believe a once-in-a-while cookie or an ice-cream cone will bring about doomsday or anything, but the fact that I believe they're not a big deal makes my Chronometer look like I'm ON AN ALL-COOKIE DIET AND MY PRIMALS MEALS ARE SNACKS!

    NEW RULE:
    THOU SHALL HAVE TWO WEEKLY PLANNED SNACKS.

    Holy caps, Batpeople.
    The Bible speak is probably because the way to Walmart is paved with chalk-charted Mormon propaganda.
    (Shit you not. What are they doing in Quebec?)

    But anywho.
    So far, the only snack I'm willing to drag my meaty ass *punned* out of the house for is chocolate Haagen-Daasz (btw, did you know they're a American company with a made-up exotic name that means nothing...?).
    But it's time to call the transvestite pig what it is. (I sort of-kind of been considering icecream part of my diet... and it's not. It's freaking snack.)

    I guess I shouldn't kick my ass too much. If I'm maintaining weight that it simply means that one day, when I'm at a happy weight I can eat 80-20 and still maintain.

    And by 80/20, I mean 80% icecream and 20% steak, of course.

    Now, the only problem is grains (I don't care for nuts nor seeds). I've eaten rice tree times this week. I think they should be a once a week sort of thing.

    NEW RULE:
    THOU SHALL HAVE GRAINS ONLY ONES A WEEK.

    Anyway, you sort of gotta press on, I guess ;3

    Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 09-10-2014 at 06:10 PM.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  7. #7
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    Sleep:
    9 hours but woke up at 5pm. And I sleep like a rock in a coma; set 4 alarms, 15 minutes apart, and turned them all off without even opening my eyes.

    Eat:
    Eureka! I found the secret to get a DISGUSTING amount of protein! Offal! Organs and especially tendons (which the xenophobic
    Chronometer refuses to list). The latter are pure collagen and protein, no fat, no carbs. Nada.
    They're damn tasty too. Too bad they're quite a rarity in regular supermarkets. To get them you'd have to go to an Asian market.

    Borsht with some pork tendons, chicken hearts and livers.
    Some Lay's wavy potato-chips (I know, I know!!!). Because of the former I had to carefully maneuver my macros and was resigned to eat ground beef for dinner. Some odds and ends, like tomato juice, Greek yogurt and pickled stuff (home-made).

    The real dilemma is that in order to stay obsessively within my micronutrient ratios I would need to eat a few tablespoons of butter... Carbs are so easy to overdo, I wonder if just focusing on protein and calories is enough for weight loss.

    Energy: 1256 kcal /
    Protein: 121.6 g
    Carbs: 74.7 g
    Fat: 54.5 g

    Move:
    I jabba-ed out today.

    Skin:
    It's okay considering I haven't been washing it regularly and it tends to have that lovely sheen only akin to the surface of an oil rig. I have a weird flat pinkish mark on my forehead which I freaked out and flailed my arms about 'cause I thought it was a pigment discoloration (I'm 26). I'm laying off the retinol during the morning, even in small amounts in serums...

    Supplement:
    Coffee, Salt, Sugar, Cocoa: I only do coffee and salt. Today I've added two tsps. of sugar, but I only like my coffee like I like my man: black and bitter. (Uh... Not really.)
    Magnesium: A tsp. of citrate, which has no effect. Might up it to 2 tsps.
    Potassium: I always get a good amount so I'm not even sure why I keep track of it...
    Calcium: Never get to 1K. -''- -''-...
    D3: Winter has started in Montreal so this is when I start relying on my vitamin D3 from the tit of a brown bottle.

    More 80s music. If I listen to it that day, so must you (you, imaginary readership, you!)
    It's only appropriate, looking at myself in the mirror, that I'd shove this one down your proverbial throat in particular.
    It always makes me wanna dance and jiggle mah belleh!

    Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 09-11-2014 at 08:36 PM.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  8. #8
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    I've been MIA, trying to reset my sleeping schedule (still).
    I've got all of Lyle McDonald's books and realised they're not intended for someone like me (as full bodied as a wine barrel of fat raccoons) but I'm fascinated by the Rapid Fat Loss Diet (Protein Sparing Modified Fast).

    I've been on and off GAPS, Primal, Clean Gut and everything in between since late January and so far... I've gained 5lbs.
    I've got no one to blame but me and my frequent cookies'n'ribs festivals in the privacy of my LCD-screen litted room in the wee hours of the night. But still, I feel like every time I try something consistently for 3-4 weeks or so the weight doesn't budge and I give up because the torture of food deprivation isn't worth it the molasessy slow weight loss. I wanna cry when someone complains about 1-2lbs a week... Christ, I WISH I COULD ACHIEVE THAT!

    I probably do have some hormonal imbalances that are interfering with weight loss and energy levels, but I don't know how to get past them just yet. Or maybe, I think, I can deal them later once I stop being so freaking fat, because while I can't see hormones swimming in my body my fatness is pretty much staring me in the face.

    Maybe doing something THAT extreme will get my ass into (albeit a tight) gear. It'll force me to re-establish my relationship with food, it will motivate me with quick weight loss, it'll shrink my stomach, it'll help me get into my winter clothes (not dying of hypothermia is a definite incentive). BUT the possibility of screwing myself up and weight regain is on the other edge of the sword. I have no doubt I'll have the right tools to eat well in maintenance this time I just don't know if that'll be enough. What if my already vindictive body makes me regain the weight regardless of how careful I eat in maintenance?

    Dilemma time.
    Here's some elevator music while I make the decision.

    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  9. #9
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
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    Ohai.
    I'm back after some pause. Hope you enjoyed the elevator music.

    Exploring some of Peat's writing and the RP forum (though wrapping my head around the stuff requires some mental gymnastics).
    For the most part I just can't freaking do it.
    I get constant advice to drink some 1% with gelatin, sugar and OJ, eat low-fat cottage cheese and copious amounts of fruit. (I think it's rude to reply with "THAT'S DISGUSTING!" so I just say "Thanks for the detailed response...") But it's nearing too close to lacto-vegetarian for my comfort. How are you supposed to get "protein from animals" without consuming any meat?

    Bye bye sweet sweet salmon (the only fish I like), goodbye chicken skin, farewell bacon... Hello ice cream and tortilla chips fried in coconut oil...! Oh cruel fate! Such a dilemma! It all boils down to how low I will stoop to lose weight? I guess I'm open to to being open and I enjoy Peat's ramblings about how the US gov't fucked us over.

    I don't think I have low-thyroid though, especially from taking my temperature every day (it's higher than normal, so is my pulse which seems to indicate a good metabolic rate). I think I do have estrogen dominance though from reading about the side-effects. I'm taking progest-E (day 3!) and I'll see how it goes.

    Reading the paleo vs. peat debate is fun though. "You sugar gliding gummy bear suckers!" "You sluggish thyroid mentally foggy ape-worshipers!"

    I like the idea of the Non-Retarded Paleo: Introducing NRP: Non-Retarded Paleo - Ray Peat Q&A
    It makes sense to me. I'll add a carrot to my diet. I'll eat some fruit. Potatoes are here to stay. I'll even drink some orange juice.
    But please don't put sugar in my black coffee or I will go medieval on your hiney.


  10. #10
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    Jennifla is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    YAY a Ukie! Love your writing! Best of luck to you.
    As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

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