Jenster7's quest for health
Having lurked and contributed to others' journals and the forums for a while now I feel it's only fair to start a journal of my own. IRL I am reticent and introverted so its taken a while, but I am gradually becoming more confident and able to reveal more of myself here. This journal is a log of my personal quest for the best health I can realistically acheive and its fine either way if others feel they would like to contribute, or not.
In brief I am a 41 year old mother of 2, aged 6 and 9, happily married, and I work part time for an environmental organisation. I came to MDA after an ill-advised period of dieting in my late 30s. Before this I was always in good health and a reasonably healthy weight, although my weight fluctuated within about a 2 stone (28 pound) range, depending on my lifestyle at the time. I was aware that I liked myself much better when I was at the lower end of the range, but didn't do anything to try to deliberately control my weight. I ate what I wanted and generally tried to eat healthily according to CW, although I was prone to comfort eating at times, especially in my teens as a result of an inadequate family life and upbringing.
Then in my late 30s I decided I wanted to lose a bit of weight for a beach holiday we were planning. I was only going to cut back a bit on the junk but unfortunately my diet obsessed friend introduced me to Slimming World. At first I was astounded that anyone would follow such a restrictive eating regime but I decided to try it and, amazingly to me, it worked! I started to lose weight, got a bit obsessed with the scale, its a familiar story (I now realise). Read Gary Taubes and went low carb, found MDA, tried Whole30 for two weeks and almost had a breakdown due to lack of energy etc. I realise now that I was basically starving all the time. I felt like I could no longer function as a human being, was horrible to my kids, my relationship suffered etc, etc. I was at my lowest weight of 127 pounds (I am 5'6").
I knew I had to do something and I was desperate. I gave up all dieting for a while and ended up stuffing my face with all kinds of rubbish, mega binges that I just couldn't believe I was capable of. They made me feel really ill afterwards and interfered with my sleep, which just made everything worse. I felt like I had messed myself up for good. Gradually though things started to improve. I started to eat high carb primal but didn't restrict the binging as I found this only made it worse when I inevitably caved and ate some junk. It took a long time but eventually the cravings diminished as I ate better and better in general. I still binge sometimes in the evenings but nowhere near as much as I did and I no longer worry about it, feel guilty, or restrict to compensate.
So, to how I eat now. In general I would say I eat according to Perfect Health Diet rules, but I also eat rice and oats, and occassionally beans as relatively benign carb sources. I eat some meat, fish and/or eggs, plenty of carbs and a little healthy fat with every meal, along with plenty of veg and some fruit. Some meals are vegetarian. I try not to snack but have fruit and sometimes nuts if I get hungry between meals. I avoid wheat and gluten grains entirely but have 'treats' regularly, generally primal, eg dark chocolate, dried apricots, sometimes paleo baked goods. When I 'binge' I still try to stick to these primal treats and avoid gluten grains as they really mess me up. But sometimes I also eat ice cream, milk chocolate, sweets etc., basically anything doesn't have gluten. I avoid alcohol except occassionally with a special meal or social occassion.
My weight seems to have stabilised at about 143 pounds but I don't really know for sure as I don't weigh and try not to think about my weight at all, as I find this way diet obsession lies. My absolute priority is to be as healthy as I can be through what I eat, how I exercise and sleep, and my lifestyle. I intend to use this journal as a record of this, to make me more 'accountable' and help me realise my mistakes and look back on my progress.
Last edited by Jenster7; 09-05-2014 at 01:45 AM.
So, my first proper entry.
Small binge last night. I was exhausted and have a bit of a cold, so feeling rough. I was a bit wound up so instead of the early night I should have had, I stayed up and ate rubbish. Didn't help that hubby was out at the pub, but no excuse really. At least I avoided wheat. I have realised that this needs to be my main priority - I am convinced it was the biscuits I ate last week that let the cold in in the first place as its not the first time this has happened, so really need to be totally wheat free for my health.
Note to self for next time: recognise the signs and be prepared. Need to relax when wound up and ill, not eat!
Reasonable nights sleep anyway, still rough with cold today but feel OK. Off work with kids so potential for stress. Must relax properly tonight.
Last edited by Jenster7; 09-05-2014 at 01:57 AM.
hi! im a newbie, it took me a while to register, and then it took me a while to start commenting, and now i too have begun a journal.
just wanted to say hello.
Hi, thanks for posting. Will have a look at your journal
Good day today. I was a good mum to the kids and was able to relax for a while. Last nights binge has released some happy hormones, but I know it won't last. Good eating day. Will try not to eat rubbish tonight but it will be hard I feel.
Ok, so I ate some rubbish last night. But all gluten free which is my main priority. I seem to relax more and feel better when I eat what I want, as long as I don't overdo it. Hmm maybe my body is trying to tell me something. I think I need to make some paleo treats. I was feeling and eating much better when I was eating what I wanted of these. They're just a pain to make. I need a backup but dark choc interferes with my sleep. Will keep working on it - maybe 70% dark (rather than 85%) will be ok.
I'm wondering if I need to cut out dairy again. Again, I was doing better when I was dairy free. Maybe I will try just having it now and again. It doesn't affect me physically but seems to hijack my good eating habits.
I made soda bread for the kids yesterday. It smelled soooo good. Must I really give up bread for life? Cakes and biscuits I can handle, but bread?? Maybe I'll be able to have a bit now and again when my gut has healed properly. But for that I need to stop cheating with gluten grains.
Not sure if I will carry on with my journal. It may be too much hassle and feels a bit too personal. I'll see how it goes.
Good day today. Ate well and enjoyed everything. Made some paleo truffles and feel satisfied...I don't think I will overeat tonight, although I may have one or two more truffles
Haven't stopped all day. Life is soooo hectic. I am trying to practice mindfulness and to tackle just one thing at a time. Things will not calm down unless I make them calm down by prioritising and ditching the low priority stuff. The trouble is, between what I have to do and what I want to do, there's not a lot of low priority stuff . Will keep working on it. Staying off MDA for a while might be a start!
First day back at work and school after the summer hols. I am gutted! Ate lots of what I shouldn't have last night and paid for it with a rubbish nights sleep so feeling exhausted. Not really sure why I did it, I didn't even really want it.
Anyway, early night tonight. Kids had a great first day and I have been calm. I am concentrating on mindfulness, really focussing on what I am doing and tackling one thing at a time. So far it seems to be going well.
Thanks! I too have neglected to mention some of the things I have eaten. But yes this is for ME, and will hopefully keep me accountable, so I will continue for now.
Originally Posted by PinkAeryse
I eat farm eggs all the time. Do they gross you out because they're a bit close to the chickens @rse, so to speak? Just remember they're fresh and local and come from happy chickens
Good day today, I am back on track eating-wise. Went for a bike ride at lunchtime for the first time in ages and really enjoyed it. This may be my exercise of choice from now on. Running sometimes feels like a chore and I am not trying to be an Olympic athlete, just to keep myself healthy and enjoy it.