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  1. #1
    DangerousTraits's Avatar
    DangerousTraits is offline Junior Member
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    Primal Journey of D

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    I really need to get a grip. I can successfully make this journey: I know I can because Iíve done it before (or at least something very similar). More than anything I both want and need to get fitter, feel comfortable in my body again (instead of feeling like Iím in something alien), lose weight (at least 20kg of it), eliminate the pain that makes doing so many things sooooo difficult and somewhere along the way get my self confidence, bounce and sexy back.

    I kept weight off for 10 years after losing 37kg (81.4lb) through low carb eating and lots of exercise. Then I turned 46 and everything started to go wrong. In just over 2 years Iíve gained nearly 20kg (44lb). How is that even possible??????? And that weight is proving very, very difficult to shift Ė much harder than itís ever been and that is what is SOOOOO frustrating!!!!! It feels like NOTHING will shift it and sometimes I verge on despair because I donít want to feel like this anymore.

    Iím tired of really disliking myself. Iím tired of feeling lethargic all the time. Iím terrified knowing that if I donít nip this is the bud now I will turn into some pitiful old woman creeping from the couch to my bed and no further (and I know it doesnít have to be that way). I donít want to be my mother who is healthy but has savage arthritis (I already have some in my hands) and is very limited in what she can do. I want to be happy, mobile, independent and healthy. Once again I want to know what it feels like to be strong and capable.

    So this will be my public accountability. IĎm mentally/emotionally on board with the Primal lifestyle. Iíve spent the last few months reading my way through this site and I completely agree with the concepts. They make perfect sense to me and I canít imagine going back to embracing CW. My downfall is that I eat perfectly well Monday through Friday afternoon but then struggle on weekends with a partner who is very supportive and does all the cooking (all Primal of course!) but does like his snacks on the weekend. I find it almost impossible lately to ignore them. Iím stressed, Iím tired, Iím unhappy, Iím dissatisfied, Iím bored, Iím broke, Iím in pain, I donít feel attractive blah blah blah Ė it seems thereís always something and Iím not proud of any of it. I know that bad food choices will only make me feel miserable and way worse (physically, mentally and emotionally) than before I have them but I am having a very, very hard time saying ďNoĒ. I have to revert to being the person who understood and implemented the fact that no one can change me but myself. There is simple and magic cure. I need to fix me. Itís important to me and I am so worth the effort.

    I know I need to get my exercise (or at least physical movement) on track but the things that used to be so easy (chronic cardio, hours weight training etc. Ė all unnecessary I know) are now really difficult (read painful). Hopefully just getting a grip on my eating (cutting out all the Ďbad for meí stuff) and losing some weight will help with the constant knee pain I have that makes even casual walking for any distance extremely unenjoyable (and if I do enjoy it and get in a good long walk I pay for it for days afterwards).

    This sounds really negative and I donít mean it to be. I know I can do this. I deserve to do this. I deserve to succeed at this. I just need to get a grip.

  2. #2
    Rig D's Avatar
    Rig D is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome D. I hope you find that Primal will be a path for success, it was for me. Try to stick to Marks basic plan for a few months until you see how things work for you, and don't forget the exercise components. Don't see any height/weight numbers, but you've added back a lot of weight, may I suggest walking as a key element of your exercise--start slow/short, add distance/speed as your body adjusts. Get your partner out there with you, good for both of you and a great time for conversation and decompressing. Share your progress, I think that when you look back at your opening post in a year, you will very pleased with progress made. Take pride in making headway. Lots of posts here from Aussies, you should have "local" support!
    The Buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future. So for today: I choose to be happy. I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

  3. #3
    DangerousTraits's Avatar
    DangerousTraits is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for the welcome.

    I'm 157cm (5ft 2) and weigh around 81-82 kg. Ultimately I would like to get to somewhere around 60kg and see how I go.

    I live in a perfect place to enjoy walking (on the waterfront of a beautiful bay) but it's been raining lately with gale force winds so it hasn't been very enjoyable. I give thanks for my treadmill.

    I am so looking forward to Spring so I can get back to visiting sandy beaches, enjoying long walks and soaking up the sun (sensibly). The beach is one of my happy places. I can't imagine not living near water.

    Well, so far this week I've made perfect food choices so I'm happy about that. I give sincere thanks for all the wonderful primal recipes to be found at MDA (hello Cuban Piccadillo and baked eggs with spinach) and a beautiful partner who enjoys experimenting and cooking for us.

    I'm feeling very positive at the moment and I really am hoping that this public accountability will help keep me mentally on track, especially over the weekends. It's tragic when you're your own worst enemy. I want to become my number one supporter instead.

    D.

  4. #4
    DangerousTraits's Avatar
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    Yay, it's the first day of Spring - warmer weather and longer days! I'm so looking forward to it.

    I've had a very good weekend and am feeling positive. Half a kilo has gone since last week, I got through a weekend with absolutely NO junk food or bad food choices, I enjoyed a long and very beautiful walk yesterday morning with G, sunshine, no wind and a sparkling blue bay and on Saturday I discovered the joys of coconut butter. Yummmmmmmmmmmmm. That will definitely help me get over any sweet tooth cravings because even a small amount is incredibly satisfying. Good times!

    I'm set for a good week.

  5. #5
    DangerousTraits's Avatar
    DangerousTraits is offline Junior Member
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    It's Friday weigh day and I've had a good week - 0.8kg has gone. Yay!!! My joints are aching a lot less too so overall I'm feeling good.

    I'm feeling quite confident about my ability to maintain good behaviour over the weekend and not fall into the trap of endless mindless snacking. Ok, true, that confidence comes from the fact that I won't be at home for a large part of it which eliminates the whole boredom/comfort eating thing but hey, whatever gets me through until I'm feeling mentally stronger I will take.

    It's a gorgeous Spring day and I finish work early so it's off to the beach for a good long walk in beautiful, warm sunshine.

    Hello weekend!

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