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Thread: what makes you feel free? page

  1. #1
    noodletoy's Avatar
    noodletoy is offline Senior Member
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    May 2012
    land of the glass pinecones

    what makes you feel free?

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    i am in a period of transition.

    i am someone who struggles with feeling frozen when given options or even a hint of choice in my life. my coping skills suck.

    i want to develop healthier emotional skills.

    how do you do it?
    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

    Ernest Hemingway

  2. #2
    Nellodee's Avatar
    Nellodee is offline Senior Member
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    Jan 2014
    Meditation. It takes a bit and requires daily practice but there's nothing quite like it for developing equanimity and inner calm. I'm 2 years in and the difference is striking. Still sort of a nervous and sensitive wreck, but you should have seen me before this! :P

    Here's a powerful resource:

    The weekly emails are a perfect way to get started, for anyone interested. It starts out very very slowly and gently. Eventually it gets into some weird lineage specific stuff, but for the first couple months at least it's awesome secular practice.

    Just a thought.
    Last edited by Nellodee; 07-21-2014 at 11:16 PM. Reason: wow i suck at opposites today
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  3. #3
    Knifegill's Avatar
    Knifegill is online now Senior Member
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    You just need to go through hell a few more times. How old are you?

    Also, nothing should make you feel free. We're all damned slaves and there's nothing we can do about it. Stop trying to lie to yourself. Instead, accept the sentence for what it is. Then you will be at peace with all that is wrong.

    Knifegill is christened to be high carb now!
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  4. #4
    DinoHunter's Avatar
    DinoHunter is online now Senior Member
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    Mar 2012
    kicking the crap out of something... *sigh* I miss moi thai......
    Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

  5. #5
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Mar 2010
    Odessa/ Midland, TX
    Yoga or a long walk. Depending on the day, that long walk may or may not have running/ sprinting involved. Whatever I do, I am pushing my own limits. Bending deeper, breathing deeper, running farther, sprinting faster, etc.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #6
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    Oct 2013
    Sheffield, England
    Music. Both playing and listening. But its gotta be something fairly uplifting, not like these emo kids who sit in their rooms spiralling into depression through Radiohead or early-MSP.

  7. #7
    not on the rug's Avatar
    not on the rug is online now Senior Member
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    everyone has their own way of coping with things and dealing with transitions and therefore everyone has to undergo all changes and transitions alone. we can have the support of others and heed their suggestions, but all in all, we have to go emotionally go through the bad stuff alone.

    that being said, if you'd care to offer some specifics on your situation, maybe we could offer some specific ways to help you get through it
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

    Give me a spouse/life-partner who I don't want to punch in the throat when she talks. -Canio6

  8. #8
    JungleJazz's Avatar
    JungleJazz is online now Junior Member
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    Jul 2014
    Go outside, find a warm sunny spot & just sit there until there's ants crawling over you, birds in the trees closest nearby & you just that little bit too hot to call comfortable anymore. Bonus points if you can then jump in a creek to cool off!

    As for making decisions, like everything if you don't use it you lose it. Basically, if your having trouble with the big stuff, start by making a lot of small inconsequential decisions frequently.
    Eg: you feel like eggs. Great, decide on 2. Now decide on poached, scrambled, boiled, fried etc.

    I know it sounds silly but it realy does work! The brain is like any muscle & when you are learning how to do something effectively you must start small & manageable.

    Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum

  9. #9
    sbhikes's Avatar
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    Depends on the transition I guess.

    During a period of career transition I took a career counseling course where we took all these tests to help understand our interests and personality traits and stuff. It was really very helpful and interesting.

    During another period of career transition, more like career crisis, I took another course in identifying your calling. My calling was to hike the Pacific Crest. So I spent 2 years not working at a career and instead hiking the Pacific Crest and working part-time in between. Then I went back to my career. Turned out my career was fine, I just worked for a company I didn't fit in well. But damn, hiking that trail was the best thing I have ever done.

    During periods of relationship transition I have used exercise when my heart was really super broken. Running helped. Hiking helped. Anything really strenuous like that.

    During periods of general life transition I've done support groups and gotten a lot of help that way. Sometimes you just gotta cry in a room full of people who understand.

    What makes me feel really "free" is to hit the open road without a strong agenda, but a good destination. For example, I wanted to visit Death Valley so I hit the road. Didn't make it all the way there the first day so slept in the desert. Sleeping in the desert was the best part of the trip!
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  10. #10
    xxlarge's Avatar
    xxlarge is offline Junior Member
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    Jun 2014
    Have you heard of Mick (or Nick) Dodge? Someone once asked him why he left the modern world to go into the wilderness, one. And two, what he misses most when he is there. He said, "Freedom." In other words, more or less what Knifegill said, though I prefer Buddha's spin.

    On another level, there's nothing like packing my bag (with ALL of my worldly possessions) and leaving the country not knowing how long I'm going to be gone for or where I'm going to end up. My favorite destination is India and if you're not South Asian (or if you are but you've never been there), I recommend it. It's a bit cliche to speak of going to Rishikesh to "find oneself", but there's truth in it. Maybe not Rishikesh because it's become so commercialized, but definitely if you get off the beaten path a bit.

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