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  1. #21
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    Sounds like he thinks that if you better yourself, you'll move past him. And to be honest, plenty of people do better themselves either educationally or healthwise, etc., and do move past a spouse who's stuck in the past. The realization that someone you (generic you) love is pulling you down from who you want to be is a painful thing.

    And that's all I'm going to say because I could rant for pages about unsupportive spouses/SOs/etc., and what I think should be done to them. Even reading about them makes my blood boil.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  2. #22
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    Jeeze only $150 a week per six people? It's hard for me to go under $100 for two people! Whenever my SO points out the price is high, I say "well aren't you glad I do all the shopping and you don't have to?" And, he is.

    It sounds like this is mostly your husband's problem. I wouldn't even be able to guess what internal issue is causing his behavior. You need to talk with him, tell him that it's hurting you. Do it in a non-confrontational, no-blame way... Like the "love sandwich."
    1. Honey, I really appreciate when you point things out because you care... [complement]
    2. But, it's really hurting my feelings because ...
    3. Your support would mean a lot to me because [complement]

    Seriously, it works.

    But if he wants you to eat the same as everyone else, just start making the family super delicious primal meals! Then everyone eats the same. I mean, I have never met a man who criticized my meatzza!
    Last edited by kathleen; 06-25-2014 at 06:39 PM.
    Stumbled into Primal due to food allergies, and subsequent elimination of non-primal foods.

    Start Gluten-Free/Soy-Free: December 2012; start weight 158lbs, Ladies size 6
    Start Primal: March 2013, start weight 150lbs, Ladies size 6
    Current: 132lbs, Ladies size 2
    F/23/5'9"

    26lbs lost since cutting the crap.

  3. #23
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    This is a war. You are outnumbered at present, so you must rely on covert tactics, special operations, guerrilla warfare and above all, a relentless campaign of propaganda. You did not mention the exact number of enemies, I mean family members, in your household, but your chief mission at present is to turn their sentiments pro-primal and anti-husband. Your husband's son in particular is a valuable potential ally, so be sure to concentrate on him as a high-priority target of paleo indoctrination. Since I do not know the specific interpersonal dynamics of your situation, I cannot give more detailed advice on how to go about converting your family members, but I have faith in you. Since you are no longer suffering brain fog from a crappy SAD diet, you are operating on a higher intellectual level than the rest of your family, so it should not be too difficult to outsmart them and sway them to your way of thinking.

    Good luck and stay strong, my sister in battle.

    Oh yeah, and regarding the hubby, withhold sex as punishment. That'll teach him.

  4. #24
    KimchiNinja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightly Orange View Post
    This is a war. You are outnumbered at present, so you must rely on covert tactics, special operations, guerrilla warfare and above all, a relentless campaign of propaganda. You did not mention the exact number of enemies, I mean family members, in your household, but your chief mission at present is to turn their sentiments pro-primal and anti-husband.
    Yeah, turn a minor diet issue into a divorce, that sounds reasonable.

  5. #25
    Pamela M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimchiNinja View Post
    Yeah, turn a minor diet issue into a divorce, that sounds reasonable.
    YES! This, over and over. Dismiss your entire life as you know it over diet when there are less offensive ways to deal with this? I don't get it either Kimchi.

  6. #26
    edennperez1's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm wrong but I think Nightly Orange was trying to be kind of funny. Like a Mission Impossible kind of thing.


    Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum

  7. #27
    Pamela M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edennperez1 View Post
    Maybe I'm wrong but I think Nightly Orange was trying to be kind of funny. Like a Mission Impossible kind of thing.


    Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum
    Oh yes, for sure, and clever as well. But I'm not referring to her comment alone. There is a common thread among many of the posts fueling the rage against an 'unsupportive husband', creating a bigger problem than already exists.

  8. #28
    eKatherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela M View Post
    Oh yes, for sure, and clever as well. But I'm not referring to her comment alone. There is a common thread among many of the posts fueling the rage against an 'unsupportive husband', creating a bigger problem than already exists.
    Considering her husband seems to feel irrationally threatened by her change of diet and has made a commitment to harass her on this until she goes back to eating a diet of junk food, I'd say she needs a plan of action. There is good advice mixed with humor there.

    If my boyfriend started contaminating the house with gluten, that would be the end. Of course, it's my house, and he understood this when he moved in. Not only that, but I fix pretty much all the food, and there's always good stuff to eat.

    Not everyone is as flexible as my boyfriend in being willing to eat new stuff, or in different ways. People who grow up on processed food often believe unconsciously that it's the right diet, and everyone eating anything different is just plain wrong.

    There's probably nothing to discuss, because likely he has no idea why he feels this way.

  9. #29
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    Those of you who retaliated with strong words, how did that work out for you? Because in my household it doesn't work. Even trying to ask another person to change with kind words does not work, at least not quickly and not without pain.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 170 x 3. Current Deadlift: 215 x 3

  10. #30
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    The thing is that she hasn't asked him to change, she's making changes for herself without disrupting the rest of the family's eating at all.

    What if she wanted to take one free adult education course and he was blocking her? Would the attitude be different? What if she wanted to change how she wears her hair? Is the attitude one of, "it's only food?" Here on this forum?

    How petty does a spouse have to become before one realizes that being unsupportive of something that doesn't even affect her/him is a symptom of something bigger?

    Once we go out our front doors in the morning, there's a whole world of people who have no responsibility to care whether we're happy or not. Are our expectations so low that we don't think we deserve respect and nurturing in the small corners (our homes) that we've carved out for ourselves? And of course to return that respect and nurturing to the person(s) with whom we've chosen to share our lives.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

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