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Thread: Narrowminded learning to be Primal page

  1. #1
    narrowminded's Avatar
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    Narrowminded learning to be Primal

    Primal Fuel
    I started her on this site about a year ago. At that time I started following a Primal diet and was doing awesome with it. I loved how I felt and how I was beginning to look. Then I tried a whole 30. I was so fatigued the whole time that when I came out of it, I fell hard. I may have been ok, but my personal life got extra stressful at the same time.

    My DH has ALS, he is bedridden and on a vent. We have a nurse here during the day so I can go to work and get errands/shopping done.

    Last Aug, just coming out of Whole 30, I found out our insurance would be changing with the new renewal, no more private duty nursing. Ok, so now what? I tried to remain calm and leaned heavily on the Lord. I knew He'd see me through, but that didn't mean the stress still wasn't there. A very good friend of mine, stepped in to watch DH. She's the one who actually introduced me to Primal, her, her husband and I along with my DD all did whole 30 together.

    The transition took place Dec 1. Things were up and down for a while prior as I didn't know what the ACA was going to do with any of this either.

    Long story short - they moved back here from TN, and now I have a nurse 4 days from 8-4 that I pay out of pocket. Not easy, but it works.

    However, it doesn't leave me much time for me. DD is in college and DS got married in Nov, so he's no longer at home either. When my friend leaves, it's just me, DH and our dog. I'm still learning to work around that to get in my exercise. I have to stay in ear shot of my DH, so going downstairs to walk on my TM is tough.

    I do get the dog out before and after work and that is something, but not quite the long walk I'd like. Not enough time in the 8 hours from when she comes until when she leaves.

    I'm back however and have lost 6 lbs so far. I weigh in on Tuesdays. I do weigh everyday to watch trends, and I think habit, however, I learned a long time ago if I didn't weigh in everyday things went the wrong way.

    I fought my weight from my teen years on, obviously through a mostly SAD diet and CW. I've been Veg, I've been Vegan, I've tried most of it. However, Primal does make the most sense and I really feel so much better on it.

    The biggest issue I face now is learning to cope w/o using food as a crutch. I know it's a taught thing that I learned from my mother. Fall and scrape your knee, here have a cookie it will make it feel better. That is something swore never to do with my kids and I didn't. They totally can not understand me running to food when I'm stressed or emotional.

    I'd love to be able to just go for a walk or run out the door when I get frustrated, but for me that is not a reality that can be done right now. I have to find another way. So forgive me if I come here to vent sometimes. Some days I just need an outlet.

    While DH is confined to bed, he talks just fine. He's always been a very stubborn and perfectionistic person. We still own the business he bought many years ago before all of this started and he's one tough cookie to deal with at times. Probably what made him successful, but doesn't work so great in the home. .

    ok, so I'm going to try and do a journal. I will start with what I've been eating tomorrow. I want this all to be fresh. I need the accountability. I know from lerking and posting here and there, this place can be very supportive. Thanks in advance everyone for you help on my journey. I hope, one day to be one of the Friday success stories.

    40 or so pounds, plus some changes in body composition will put me there.

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    bullymama's Avatar
    bullymama is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Narrowminded! Venting can be a good thing and why not do it here on your journal? I know i do! I want to wish you great success and i look forward to following you on your primal path
    “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”

    ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

  3. #3
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    Thank you Bullymama. I will vent here. It will be great getting to know you too.

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    Hi Narrowminded! Reading your post really resonated with me. Like you, I found PB a while ago and started, felt great, but then life fell apart with tragedy after tragedy. If it hadn't been so sad, it was almost comic how regularly something major would happen. Among other things, my father was diagnosed with & quickly passed away from ALS. I have so much sympathy for you & your family. I know it's a difficult road...but you will get through.

    My trials over the past 2 years have taught me a paradox of life that in some strange way gives me hope. The saying is that life is short, but that's only half the story. Yes, it is important to live life with meaning, with some sense of timeliness rather than just wasting the days and weeks...they so quickly become decades. Life IS short, but life is also very long. These moments become new moments, new opportunities. Any stress will eventually weaken. Any pain will eventually fade. Any moment, no matter how difficult, will come to an end. I know these are all fairly obvious statements, but the power came from me using this, in some fashion, as a mantra. Believing that the current situation would subside gave me hope that life would eventually calm down.

    In that line of thinking, I learned to forgive myself for my many flaws. Like you, I turned to food in times of stress--lovingly learned from my grandparents. It took some work, but I just had to stop fighting it. I figured okay, fighting myself over this cake/ice cream/whatever is only causing me stress. Forget it. If cake is what I feel I need now, okay. Life is long, and this tragedy will pass, and I know that eventually I won't need cake like I do now. And when that time rolled around, that's when I took the opportunity to change...because change would have been impossible for me when a bag of Reeces was on my lap!

    I think this is a long way of saying that we may stumble & fall, we may slip up or completely screw up 100 times, but it really doesn't matter as much as we think it does in the moment. Life is long, and we can just try again and again. It can't be used as an excuse, of course, but I found that it helped to give some perspective on the big picture. No canyon so deep I can't climb out one baby step at a time. Just keep stepping, and eventually you'll get somewhere!

    I hope this helps in some way.

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    WWGD - Thank you for your awesome reply. I'm so sorry you had to lose your father to ALS. It's a horrible disease that I would not wish on any family. It can be financially devastaing to many. In some ways I think your Dad's quick passing may have been a blessing. Not really sure though. DH spent 2.5 years trying to figure out what was going on that started with a limp in his right leg. He was dx in July of 07, then placed on a vent in Aug of 10. It's been a long haul. It's been a blessing for our daughter as she was just 13 when he was dx. In many ways it's great to still have him with us, and in others not so much. It's a lot of work and a lot of stress. There have been blessings too through it all.

    You are right about life being long and rolling with the punches at times, even if that means ice cream or donuts or reece's. However, it becomes a problems when that's all you start reaching for. I had to get some perpective back. I knew that if I became ill or continued down that path, I'd no longer be able to take care of my DH. That doesn't mean I won't fall again, I just have to learn to get back up, let bygones, be bygones and move forward, as you said, one baby step at a time.

    Today so far has been a fairly decent day. Not much movement as I was stuck at my desk today, however, I did get in a bit of walk since arriving home and hope to get in another tonight since my DD is still here from college.

    Food today:

    B: 2 eggs, jalapeño, red bell pepper, 2 slices turkey bacon, and onion fried into an omelette in about 1 1/2 tsp of coconut oil.

    L: 4 oz left over chicken that we had smoked yesterday, baby carrots and watermelon

    D: BAS, with romain, bell pepper, onion, zucchini, carrot(probably use some of the left over grilled) and some more of the left over chicken with my homemade balsamic vinegarette.

    Tomorrow I will offically WI and I'll have a new number to share. Hopefully a good one. It looked like it would be awesome earlier in the week and then something I ate on Sat caused me to retain some fluid. I've been sure to drink lots today. oh well, if it doesn't show up this week it will next. This is a marathon and new life, not a sprint to the finish. Speaking of sprints, I need to get to some of those.

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    Well I now have some other measurements of how I'm doing. My DD is in college for Ex. Science. Will go to grad school after for PT. Anyway, she put me through some physical fitness tests to see where I am and we plan to do them again at the end of summer to check my progress.

    I guess first I should state I'm 5'1.5" and am 52

    First test was the round up think crunch test. I did 50 in 1 min so Excellent category
    Then Push ups - I could do 19, Very good category
    Waist measurement 37 - Blah high risk
    BMI - 31.5 Overweight
    Aerobic Capacity - 31.134 fair

    To be fair that last one came out fair more do to my weight. I had to walk a mile as fast as possible and I shocked even myself. I did it in 15:10 with an average pace of 15:05. Never ever dreamed I could do it that fast. When I was running well, I was only doing about a 10:30-11:00 mile.

    Tomorrow I will weigh in and also take my measurements UGG. The weight part is ok, but not the measurements.

    That also meant I got in the other walk I was hoping for, so currently I've passed my hoped for 10,000 steps and I've got an hour of active min according to my fitbit.

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    Today was a fairly good day. Did my official WI and lost 1 pound. Would have liked more, but I will take it. I did lose .8% of body fat, that was awesome!

    Eating was a bit mixed up but on target for the day.

    B: 2 hard cooked eggs and a homemade mocha (1c. whole milk, 1 Tbsp chocolate, and 2 shots espresso)

    L: leftover smoked chicken, coleslaw, watermelon

    D: BAS with leftover chicken, homemade balsamic vinegar dressing, feta cheese, strawberries and whipped cream.

    Macros: Carb 73 gm, Fat 80 gm, Pro 102 Total Cal: 1385

    I also managed to get my walk in today as well. And I got to my weaving as well. Good day all around.

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    Nice job! Keep it up! Those 1's add up!!!

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    Hi Narrowminded. Welcome, it's so nice to have you join us. I'm glad you have found this way of eating because it sure is a good way of looking after yourself when others are relying on you to look after them. I cannot begin to imagine the stress level you are under, anything you can do to stay on an even keel is a good thing. It's wonderful that your dd is helping you to assess your fitness, it will be interesting to see your progress. Best wishes and God bless.

  10. #10
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Annie - Thank you for the warm welcome! Yep have to take care of myself somehow and this way is easy and tasty enough to do that. It's nice to have a family member helping me along. She is also Paleo - started with the whole 30 we did last summer.

    WWGD - Thanks for the encouragement. Yes the 1's do add up, slowly but surely and hopefully stay gone that way.

    Today was another busy day. Went to my volunteer day. I work at a prison ministry. We send Bible study courses into prisons in 8 states. After the students do their lessons, they send them back to be graded and counseled. I mostly do the treasury work, but also fill in anywhere I'm needed. I've been doing this for 22, almost 23 years.

    Then it was off to the grocery. Had to stock up for DD. I'm headed to our church retreat this weekend and she is staying with DH. She insisted I go for a break. She is so good to me. However, since DH can't be left alone, they'll be stuck here, so I wanted to make sure she wouldn't run out of anything. She's used to being a poor college student, so seeing a full fridge daily is like WOW to her. She said "you're on it" this place doesn't run out of anything. Well it does, but at least not this week.

    Eating wise today was good.

    B: eggs, homemade pork sausage, jalapeño, red pepper omelet

    L: 2 hard cooked eggs, baby carrots, watermelon

    D: Stuffed Pobalno peppers, (GF beef, spices, salsa, tad of shredded cheese), strawberries w/whippped cream

    S: handful of almonds, apple

    Tired today, so no exercise. Listening to my body or at least trying to.

    Grok on everyone!

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