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Thread: Feeling unhappy even after weight loss? page

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    Laura12's Avatar
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    Feeling unhappy even after weight loss?

    All right, I want to ask you something that may seem strange at first, but it is something that I have been struggling with in recent months, perhaps even weeks. I have lost a considerable amount of weight and I am happy with the results. However, I am not ‘happy’ with myself at all.

    Despite the fact that others give you compliments about the weight loss, muscle tone, I still do not feel comfortable in my own skin. This despite having a significant other that calls you attractive and all the good stuff. The moment someone gives me a compliment I am instantly dismissive of it, but critique of any kind always hurts.

    Has anyone else gone through the same thing? Have you experienced this feeling before where you cannot seem to shed the ‘old you’? And if so, how (if at all) did you recover from it? I have struggled with this for a while and keep pretending everything is OK, but the truth is that it is really not. Any help is much appreciated!

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    This is not unusual. Sometimes your body changes faster than your mind. This often leads people to re-gain weight after a dramatic loss.

    I hope someone can link you to a good article or two on this. I've definitely read some in the past, esp. in relation to people who have weight loss surgery, but I can't remember where they were or what they were called.

    I hope you will not be insulted if I suggest therapy. It might be of great help to you.
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    Feeling unhappy even after weight loss?

    Losing the weight doesn't do anything to change your self-esteem, unfortunately - been there, done that. I found cognitive behavioural therapy useful in learning to change my mindset now, even though right now I weigh far more than is ideal for me. I accept it for what it is and make peace with myself until I can regain my health, at which point I know the weight will start to come off.
    ETA: I created a thread last year linking to http://m.self.com/health/2013/04/gav...cause-felt-fat this article. It really hit home for me and even on days when I'm in a terrible mood because I feel awful and swollen and tired and sore, I remember there's so much more to life and, as with everything, this too shall pass.
    Last edited by lemontwisst; 04-18-2014 at 09:57 AM.

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    I was considering posting about this myself. I'm glad you asked, and unfortunately don't have any advice to give as I'm struggling with the same thing myself. Maybe others don't have this problem but it's such a hard mental adjustment for me. I'm trying to work through this on my journal but I might decide on therapy at some point. Please message me if you'd like, I've never met anyone else who has experienced this before.


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    WeldingHank's Avatar
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    Try to find something else to work towards. Being as large as I was previously, I don't think I can bounce back to ever have abs, but I will try.

    For now, I use athletic goals to gauge how well I am doing. Lifting heavier, faster sparring, more volume etc etc.

  6. #6
    PrimalMarduk's Avatar
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    I've experienced this and am currently working through it. Although I can't speak for your current situation but for me I realized it wasnt just an appearance issue it was a me overall issue. I realized that I nealized that I never really took the time to love myself as cliche as that sounds. I've lost maybe 45 lbs so far and a lot of ppl have given me praise and compliments and though im appreciative of it it no longer matters to me bc I'm happy with myself despite what I look like. Im healthier than I was last year and thats what I try to focus on.

    Again I cant speak for your situation but if your situation is similar to mine what helped me out a lot was reading zenhabits.com
    It really helped bring a lot of issues I've buried or overlooked to light and helped me deal with them

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    RolandasPT4U's Avatar
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    Being a personal trainer I can say that most people experience mental adaptation period after a significant weight loss. Some get accustomed quicker than others. Just look at things lightly, don't over think and let yourself enjoy the new great body!

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    People believe that having a beautiful body will make you see a beautiful person in the mirror. They also think it will fix a lot of the problems in your life, make you feel comfortable in a bikini, make you feel carefree and happy, allow you to finally do the X you didn't feel comfortable doing or weren't capable of doing. They believe it's a beginning to a whole new life.

    Nothing could be further from the truth. You are still you, you still see yourself in the mirror, your problems are the same, you still feel uncomfortable in a bikini, you don't feel carefree and happy, you're not as comfortable doing X as you expected and it's not really a whole new beginning and a whole new life. You may have a moment of triumph, but then you wake up the next morning and it's your same life. Plus it's really hard to hold onto the skinny. So you either blame it all on not skinny enough or can't hold on to the skinny or else you come to realize that the problems you had are all mostly psychological.
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    Whether or not your body is beautiful, having to live with ugly thoughts can kill you. It sounds like you are coming at this from an unhealthy angle. Got to apply the serenity crap to this, really, to everything. You do what you can do, and honestly DO it long enough to adapt and make new habits, and let the rest go to the wind. There's a difference between evaluating your physiology for health and functionality with a nod to aesthetics - and beating yourself up because you don't look like a 13-year old magazine model anymore. Until you control the thoughts that YOU are thinking, you will suffer their consequences. People's compliments and criticisms alike should mean ZILCH, nada, nothing, should elicit NO emotion or thoughts whatsoever. People are chaff, fodder, and crap lined up like so many rotting trees. They will all fade away, their words should never be given the power to make your life or thoughts a bad place to live. Only YOU should tell YOU how to feel.


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