Primal Journal - Jimpags acne Journal
SO now I decided I had to start a journal here to get and most importantly STAY motivated. I usually do very good, and when everything starts to look really good I f**k it up basically, and have to start all over again. What f**ks everything up is usually drugs, even though its legal drugs (kratom), it is really really bad for me in so many ways, especially bad for my face and acne. I mean my biggest wish in the world is to get acne free and if I take kratom I can not get acne free and still I take it, Im an idiot
Why I use this drug is not only because it makes me feel really good, its more then I have so much free time in my life I have a hard time to fill my day with stuffs to do without getting bored out of my mind, kratom helps me not getting bored, everything you do on it gets fun. But im pretty sure if I can get some more hobbys and interests so I had more stuffs to fill the time with I would have an easier time to not use drugs anymore.
Why I have so much freetime is beacause my job allows me to not having to work much, I maybe work for 3-4 hours a day. But I have now decided to go back to school, that will take up some time so that is perfect, I also plan on start playing soccer again which I played my whole youth, also wanna start training mixed martial arts which is one of my biggest interests now besides my job which is online poker.
Sorry for all the rambling but was nice to write that stuff, feels more real that way, maybe I can now realize I have a problem and really work towards solving it
In this journal im gonna post my progres when it comes to drugs, or hopefully the lack of drugs And to drugs Im not only meaning kratom, I also mean alcohol which I also have a problem with I guess, I really love red wine and drink maybe 1/2 bottle every night, not good, I wanna restrict wine drinking to weekends, and if I cant handle that stop with it completely I guess. I know alcohol problems kinda run in my family, my father was a borderline alcoholist, dont know if it was the alcohol but recently he got very mentally ill which ended in him jumping in front of a train and killing himself, I guess thats a even bigger reason to really cut down or stop with it completely.
I will also try to stop with the redbulls I consume daily, its sugarfree, but Its still lots of bad stuff in it and dont wanna be dependent on caffeine to get by, right now I average maybe 2 bottles a day, a good step in the right direction considering I drank close to 10 bottles a day on its peak. Dont wanna stop cold turkey, tried that before and its to hard. Instead I gonna lower the caffeine amount I consume slowly and also change from redbulls to green tea instead.
In this journal I will also post pictures of my face so I can follow my progress to a clearer face, always easierr to see improvements when I have pictures to look at.
Thats all for now, gonna explain my diet, supplement and excercise habits more in the next post, jimpag out.
Wow I suck. Used kratom booth yesterday and today. Need to realize now I have a problem and if I have that or any other drug in the house I will use it till its gone. So I just did the right thing, I throw the last stuff in the toilett and flushed it. Now I just have to make sure I dont order it again. But it will definetly be easier to abstain from ordering it compare to using it when I have it available in my house.
I also gonna take alcohol break for atleast a week, then try a glass of wine and see how I react to that,
On the food front though its all good, eaten very clean for the last 2 weeks with yesterday as an exception. Planning on giving my body a 24H fast that started today 5H ago, will give my body a nice rest, perfect now after all the drug use and the grains from all the beers yesterday. Will post food picture in an hour or so, right now im in an awesome epsom salt bath, I just LOVE these epsom salt baths, makes me sweat so much and it just feels great afterwards. During the bath I drink lots of water to stay hydrated and also drinking roobios tea, another favorite of mine.
On the training front its bad thoough, for like 5 days ago I was out and doing interval rushes, and BAM I strained the back of my thigh, it still hurts but starting tomorrow im gonna do some lifting training that I can do without using my legs. Anyone has any tips for speeding up strain recovery?
On a last note im gonna take pictures of my face later tonight after I have stopped sweating after the bath, will be nice to get some documentation on my face I can look back to.
EDIT: Today I havent used any diet cokes or any redbulls, just tea to keep my caffeine addiction at bay, a step in the right direction. Also gonna order some DR bronner soap today, will be nice to lower the amount of chemicals on my body. Anyone have any tips for a more natural toothpaste and deodorant? I have heard of people using baking soda for booth toothpaste and deodorant, gonna read up on that more and maybe try that. Any experiences of baking soda?
Last edited by jimpag; 06-26-2010 at 01:18 PM.
Sorry for the lack of updates (even though I doubt anyone reads this shit). Whats happen since my last post, basically I havent been able to stay away from the damn drugs. The day after I wrote the last post I was out of drugs and planned to quit, as the day progressed and I was feeling worse and worse I ordered some new drugs, I was to weak to stay away from the temptation of feeling awesome soon again. Anyway I got one clean day atleast but the day after my new drugs arrived and I was back at it. Since then I used it everyday and right now im out of drugs again but I feel a lot stronger this time and this time I really really WANT TO quit instead of last time when I felt I had to quit, big difference
So yeh, plan is now to ride it out tonight and tomorrow and probably a day or two more after that of feeling really ill, but after that I should be as good as new again and I dont plan on touching that shit again because I can clearly not handle it in a responsible way. But thats all good, the best Ive ever felt was a couple months ago when I was abroad on a long "vacation", didnt use any drugs, smoke, alcohol etc, ate super clean, worked out almost daily and went to bed early and got up early in the morning, have never ever felt as good as I did back then and my plan now is to get to that point again
Have promised you all pictures booth of my last two posts but this time Im gonna stick to my promise and post the pictures, the same way Im gonna stick to my promise not using drugs again, wish me luck.