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Thread: The Magic of Believing. (Grokalicious Rides Again) page

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    The Magic of Believing. (Grokalicious Rides Again)

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    I'm back. Not that I ever really left, at least not this way of eating/living. My last post in my last journal here was a testimony to just exactly how well this way of life works for me. I'm keeping this journal in the hopes of having some accountability and achieving some fitness goals. Oh, and having some fun too!

    Funny, I'm not sure if I've just adapted to not eating gluten or if I really have some allergy but every time I've tried to embrace the 10% part of the 90/10 equation, I've felt like crap. I don't think I'm particularly enamored of alternate flours but may try at some point. (probably not though!). The good news is I'm up to 15-20 unassisted dips, which is pretty cool for an old broad. Now if I could just up my unassisted chin-ups from 1 rep, life would be fantastic. Some girly stuff ahead, so be warned. The other good news is that I finally began menopause (I'm 55). But, because of healthy primalness, I've had zero hot flashes, no weight gain, and have yet to have night sweats. I haven't counted a calorie in forever and my weight/fat percentage has stayed fairly constant. I would like to lose a little more fat and work on flexibility. I'm not sure what I weigh. Last weigh in was right after NYE. I was 126. (4 more lbs than my lowest) but my clothes were looser, inches were lost and muscles more prominent. I'll take a new before pic if I can find a mirror. I no longer have access to my ex's full length mirror but will figure this out too.

    The bad news, and it was evident in my old journal too, is that I still have hideous insomnia and unrestorative sleep. I fall out okay but awaken 2 hours later unable to go back to sleep. So, I need to figure that out. I'm sure it has something to do with the vicious coffee cycle I've been swirled up in all these years. My adrenals haven't been good since my Dad died 5 years ago. I'm working on it!

    Goals:
    Sleep through the night or at least wake up refreshed
    5 chin-ups
    Visible abs
    Have more fun

    And that, is that.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    Minefields

    The soft tissue surrounding my funny bone hurts and I'm not laughing. It's an odd throbby kind of dullness and seems to hurt most when I attempt to do chin ups. So, that little dream is on hold for the time being. But, for whatever freakin' reason, no pain when doing dips. Truth be told, I half assed my workout (except for dips). I don't have a bathtub but today I really wish I did. Just to soak away the aches and the remains of the past week.

    Hunger is in a down cycle. Forcing myself to eat. I'm not down but my body seems to be. Time to listen. I'll take the next 2-3 days off from the gym. So hard to do that as the gym is my escape from the world and truly the only time that I'm in the flow. But, we all know what happens when you ignore your body.

    Next Saturday will be one year since I moved out on my own. I wouldn't change a single moment and have learned a lot. I'm also in the best shape of my life (funny bone be damned) and more positive than ever. I would like to have a date that was actually fun, so let's see. Three dates in 12 months isn't so great but lowering my standards wouldn't be so hot either.

    Onward and upward and all that. Voila.
    Last edited by Grokalicious; 02-25-2014 at 08:34 PM.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    Hey Grokalicious, your menopausal experience is totally inspirational. That's the menopause I want, not my mother's with the hot flushes and panic attacks. Hope the elbow feels better, you'll be pulling up with the best of 'em soon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by randomcapitals View Post
    Hey Grokalicious, your menopausal experience is totally inspirational. That's the menopause I want, not my mother's with the hot flushes and panic attacks. Hope the elbow feels better, you'll be pulling up with the best of 'em soon.
    randomcapitals, thanks! It really can be done. Breezing through (finally as I was like clockwork every 28 days until August when it just stopped).
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    A walk in the clouds

    I've taken the last 2 days off from the gym and today too. The achiness in my upper body has dissipated and I can move about my world without wincing. Rest is good. Slowing down is good. Tempering my inclination of doing too much, a first. Push, push, push is more my style.

    Such a little amount of hunger. I had a long day of work yesterday and only ate around sunset. A BAS with grilled wild salmon and almonds and avocado. Delish. I've always struggled with hunger. I'm either not hungry at all or ravenous. Kinda like the rest of my life...no gray areas.

    Waiting to hear about a second interview for a plum job. This would be the first job in over 8 years that isn't commission based. Salary plus performance based (read sales) bonus. I'm a great interviewee. Never nervous, upbeat, intelligent responses to weird questions. We shall see.

    Still trying to get it together to date. I'm not exactly meeting a lot of men. Tried the online thingy but couldn't get past the plethora of knuckle dragging mouth-breathers on that particular website. I think I just need to meet someone organically. Just not lowering my standards.

    Life really has been a walk in the clouds although also a bit spacey and ungrounded. This too shall pass.
    Last edited by Grokalicious; 03-08-2014 at 07:13 PM.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    We mere mortals with our feet of clay

    I've been better. I called my mom this morning for our daily chat and she sounded dreadful. I think she had a little heart attack. In typical fashion, she admitted to weakness, nausea, light headedness, but refused to go to hospital or to see a Doctor. Made me promise not to call my cousin who is a doctor. I promised, hung up, and immediately called him. I guess she has heart arrhythmia, according to him, as well as a huge case of stubbornness. Perhaps at 83 years of age one has earned the right to be a little stubborn. Still, it freaked me out. She lives so far from me. By my second phone call, she was fine but reminded me that someday she will go and that I must be ready.

    Tailspin the rest of the day. I've never been married, no siblings, no children. When she goes, voila. That is it. Not something I dwell on, normally. But, today I had a big bite of my own mortality, along with hers. And, you know what? They didn't taste so great staring me in the face.

    Zero hunger.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    Nice journal. Glad you're back to posting. Best wishes for your mom.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Nice journal. Glad you're back to posting. Best wishes for your mom.
    Thank you! I appreciate your kind words. My Mom is doing much better.
    Last edited by Grokalicious; 03-08-2014 at 07:14 PM.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    A groovy kind of love

    It's a whole new world for me romantically. At least, that's my intent. I am single for almost a year and it's actually been a lot of fun. But, now? Jeez, dare I say it? I'm ready for something special. Someone special to match my special. I get hit on a lot. Duh, I'm in sales and it's just the nature of the beast. What I'm saying here is I'm not at a loss for male attention just not from anyone of interest. And, the last 2 years of my relationship with J were spent as roommates (if you get what I mean, and I think you do). Let's just say...I'm ready. But completely ill equipped to deal with asshats. This is Los Angeles, after all!

    My friend dates morons and is marrying their King sometime this year. When she returned to dating after the demise of a long term relationship, she gleefully announced that intelligence in a mate isn't important to her. Well, mes amis, careful what you declare aloud because she is marrying a man whose intelligence is not at all in question. He lacks even one drop of it. I need smarts, wit, humor and looks don't hurt either. Laundry lists are annoying, so I'll keep mine short!

    Insomnia has paid its nightly visit (this time to get in a little good worrying time about my Mom). So much ahead for me. New job, new agent for my VO work, new car (new to me...and hopefully the old one holds up until I'm ready). Large-ish chunk of money ahead from the ex boyfriend. He's selling his house and giving me some moolah to honor having stood by him during his illness (cough, cough, hypochondria).

    Let's not forget my lofty goals of 5 chin ups and visible abs. June 1st the goal date. I can do it. No calorie counting, no grains, good fats, awesome workouts = success. You'll see! And, by then, a man that is instant crazy-good chemistry...for all of the right reasons.

    Ok. Back to sleep. Fingers crossed.
    Last edited by Grokalicious; 01-30-2014 at 06:14 AM.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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    Reframing...

    The good news is that I had an amazing workout yesterday. No pain, no twinges, nothing but blue skies. I like being so lean and believe that will ultimately help me with chin ups (less weight to lift). Now to work on pulling muscles needed as opposed to my well developed pushing muscles that I use in dips. I'm strong enough that I can lift my body above the dip bars and hold. Maybe that's no big deal but it is to me.

    I fell asleep very early last night and, get this, slept through the night except for briefly opening my eyes at 3 am, turning over and falling back out. And, I feel restored and good. This, a first. I almost didn't journal about it for fear of jinxing it. Woohoo.

    I decided to give online dating a go. I'm out and about in my sales job every day but the only people I meet are wine buyers in high end restaurants and shops. Usually it's the same people who have worked there forever, whom I've known forever and who are already friends. Weekends I am out with friends or, more likely, making dinner with friends and they're great women but know no men. So, helllllllo. I went shopping for hotness online this morning, much like buying a shirt or book from Amazon. (How flipping weird is that!). The two I fancied live over 50 miles from me. Both were attractive and had interesting non-knuckle dragging profiles. Not sure if I can be assed to drive that far.

    Hungry today! In a literal sense as well as metaphorically...
    Last edited by Grokalicious; 03-16-2014 at 09:08 PM.
    One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
    Oscar Wilde

    Memento vivere!!!
    Grokalicious

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