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Thread: Tips to get over a funk?

  1. #11
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    The first question I would ask is how are you sleeping? Quantity and quality.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Santa Barbara
    Sometimes you just have to go through a liminal phase where you feel like you don't really have a direction or just can't get where you want to go. Over my life I've started to understand that's just the way things are. Nothing changes until I'm ready to change it. So if I just accept that I'm stuck in that liminal phase it seems to help me get out. Eventually I find a project I'm interested in and that gets me out. Weight lifting worked for me to get me out because I could see the actual progress literally in the numbers on the plates or the number of reps I could do. That kind of positive feedback made me happy and feel like I was making progress somewhere in my life. It also taught me to prioritize sleep/recovery and protein, two things that have made amazing improvements in just feeling great. Maybe some other kind of project would work for you.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by Samantha View Post
    HI guys I'm in a bit of a funk - mentally - and can't seem to grab hold of any enthusiasm for my weightloss mission, which I really want to do.
    I can't understand "can't seem to grab hold of any enthusiasm" in the context of "[what] I really want to do".

    Which is it?

    Possibly, this means something like you think you should "want to do" this, but actually don't. But maybe it's something else ...

    But, to be frank, I think there are more important issues in life than "weightloss" or "fat loss" as we tend to say here. And maybe at some level you realise that, and that's why you're in two minds. If you just eat in a healthy manner, without worrying too much over it, any excess fat will tend to come off anyway -- and if it doesn't maybe you're mistaken in thinking you're "overweight" anyway.

    What's your fat percentage?

    A rough figure would do -- try an online calculator, such as this one:

    Diet Calculator, Body Fat Calculator

    To counter, I've joined a tennis court next to my house (which is my favourite sport - yay and have been playing). And I still cook all my meals but for some reason, I just can't screw my head on in the morning and be enthused about my mission.
    But, again, maybe there are more important issues in life ...

    I found a really lovely picture of when I was fit and ripped and have saved it as my screensaver
    This (and the part immediately following) is the part that worried me a little. If you try to analyse what you're saying what do you get? "Fit" ... fit for what? And again "ripped" ??? I don't think women should look "ripped". I really doubt that any woman that does is actually healthy.

    And -- please forgive me for saying this -- using a "ripped" picture of oneself as a screensaver seems a bit obsessive. Why not an attractive landscape or a beautiful building or some pictures of people in your family?

    ... but nothing is helping. I've emotionally flatlined which is sabotaging my attempts to restrict calories.
    Then we get the bit about restricting calories. As a strategy that doesn't seem to work, and it's not what's done here. See Mark's notes on this:

    The Context of Calories | Mark's Daily Apple

    Does anyone have these days / months and could pass on any tips?
    I'd just not worry about it. We don't even know that you have got excess fat to lose -- you never gave any figure on fat percentage or weight and height or anything. Even if you have, I'd avoid worrying. I really would avoid counting calories and restricting. If you really have got some fat to lose, you could try intermittent fasting -- skipping a meal (or a day's meals) on a random and infrequent basis, but not restricting on most days. However, I understand fasting is counterproductive for many women (despite the current popularity of 5:2), even though it tends to work for most men. And for all I know you're fine just as you are and maybe even leaner than you should be.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    Sometimes you just have to go through a liminal phase where you feel like you don't really have a direction or just can't get where you want to go. Over my life I've started to understand that's just the way things are. Nothing changes until I'm ready to change it.
    I'm think we over-value our conscious mind and everything that comes with it -- will, discipline, control at the expense of our subconscious mind, which is where the real capacity to change lies. That's why affirmations don't work. When we say "I'm a winner", our subconscious shoots back with "that's a lie.".

    I think when we talk about "getting it" or something "clicking" we're referring to the subconscious. Thats' why I'd recommend journalling (sic?). I think it's the only way to bring subconscious conflict to the surface. Once exposed, it's easier to move forward.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Boston Manor, London
    Thanks for the thoughtful replies guys.

    SBhikes, I really connected with what you said - I do think sometimes you can't control everything and there is so much control involved in a weight loss mission you loose sight of that. Thank you.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Cochrane, AB
    I have been dealing with a bit of a similar situation, and I have a bit of insight, hopefully it will help.

    I made the decision about 3 months ago to move to a location that really clicks with the lifestyle that I want to live. Much better climate, better for my allergies etc. My wife, and I will be quitting our jobs, and selling our house to make this move. One thing we are going to do before we move is develop our basement since it is a walk out this will add a lot to the selling price of the house. We keep talking about all the positives about where we are moving to and focusing on it, but we are finding it very hard to get motivated to work on the basement. It is not that we don't like doing the work it is just hard to get started.

    I think that for me I see all the change that will come when I reach my goal. I am looking forward to that change but I think that part of me doesn't want to reach that goal because I have been looking forward to it for so long that once I have made the move what if it isn't as good as I think it will be. Then all that work wouldn't have taken me to a place where I am happier.

    I think that might apply to your weight loss goals, what if you reach your goal, and it doesn't make you happy. I think for weight loss the best way is to concentrate on eating good foods, and enjoying the food you eat. If you are eating a good primal diet, and not going completely overboard on serving size the weight loss will come. What I found for loosing the last 10 or so lbs for myself was I started playing hockey, and my goal actually changed from loosing weight to being in better shape so that I can keep up easier.

    I hope that this helps, and good luck with getting some motivation back!!!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Chicago area
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleobird View Post
    The first question I would ask is how are you sleeping? Quantity and quality.
    Sleep was going to be my first suggestion/question, the second that has helped me is really simple--go for long walks frequently. It's like meditation for me, where nagging thoughts may bubble up from the subconscious, and I can observe the issue that may be bugging me, but put it aside and keep walking.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Northern NJ
    For the chocolate cravings, google "faster EFT" and start practicing. It will take some time but it's pretty effective. I got over my marijuana addiction using that technique. Every time the craving starts, start tappin'

    For the mood, google and practice mindfullness meditation. Just a few minutes a day made a big difference for me.

    Keep both of them up and you'll be good. Give up on either one and no change will take place. It took me forever to get my shit together and it's still not all the way THERE. If I slip on the above (and other things, working out, etc) I slide back into old habits. They die hard, especially if you're not working on improvement.

    Lasty, and this may not work with you, but I found that I had to get kind of mad. Meaning, I had to be "pissed off for greatness" as Ray Lewis put it. Being better, improving yourself is definitely about loving yourself but it's also about kicking your own ass a little bit. Don't allow the softness, don't coddle yourself. Reward yourself, of course, take it easy from time to time, sure... but have limits.

    Set higher standards for yourself, and remember it will always be a work in progress because you're always going to be asking more out of yourself in a constructive fashion.
    Last edited by iniQuity; 05-09-2013 at 08:08 AM.
    I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Edinburgh, Scotland
    The thing that really worked for me was to shift the focus away from losing weight, onto being as fit and healthy as I possibly can.

    If I start thinking about how I want to lose weight (more actually, fat), I start obsessing about what I should/shouldn't be eating, what is/isn't working and why etc....and I lose absolutely nothing.

    So...I concentrate on getting strong...the scales aren't really moving but I don't care because I can see and feel my body becoming more lean which is ultimately what I want anyway. And isn't getting strong way more fun than losing weight!

    So why not think of it more in terms of getting better at tennis, and as you play more and become more able you'll get to a position where you want your lifestyle to help you play even better.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Shop Now
    I always try and find one thing in my life that is working and focus on that. I got a lot of crap going on right now and am none too happy. For me, food was always a comfort and eating primal... it is now notsomuch.
    So, right now, bad relationship with my SO, work is boring, not so into horsebackriding now. But damn, Crossfit gets me out of bed and makes me feel great. So I'm a little obsessive about that and am linking my diet back to being able to do good at Crossfit. And ummm.... as Mr. Perfidy says.... well, in case I need to find a mate, looking good naked is becoming a higher priority.
    Am I sick of primal eating and do I want a pizza right now? Yes. But I know eating a pizza will make me sluggish for Crossfit. Right now, Crossfit is more important than eating comfort food.

    So I dunno- take tennis. You want to be a strong tennis player? You gotta eat right.
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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