ok. NO longer even mildly amusing. One to "stop bothering to read".
Looking back on this thread, I sound like such a prick. I don't care because, in a setting like this, I'm all about the truth and not about the reputation.
I only wanted to revive it because I found an article today that shocked me. They used almost exactly the same method for explaining why intelligent people have a hard time dating.
Dr. Alex Benzer: Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating
And ultimately, I have to agree with their conclusion now.5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect
Let's say by 'smart' we mean 'in the top 5% of the population in terms of intelligence and education'. Generally speaking, smart people seek out other smart people to hang out with, simply because they get bored otherwise. And if they're going to spend a lot of time with someone, intelligence in a partner is pretty much a requirement.
Well, congratulations -- you've just eliminated 95% of the world's population as a potential mate, Mr or Ms Smartypants. Now, luckily, the world's kinda big, so the remaining 5% of the gender of your choice is still a plentiful 160 million or so people. Even if only 1% of those are single enough, good-looking enough, local enough and just all-around cool enough for you, that's over a million people you can date out there.
Still, that's less than one in five thousand people. And if you live in a smaller city, it may be just a handful of folks who are going to meet your stringent criteria.
At this point, you have three choices:
A) Loosen up
B) Do a very thorough search all over the planet and be prepared to move to Duesseldorf OR
C) Join a monastery.
My hearty recommendation is choice A. The purpose of relationship (and perhaps all of life) is to practice the loving. No partner is going to be 100% perfect anyway, so learn to appreciate people for what they have to offer, not what they don't. And love them for that. That's what real loving is.
Nobody's asking to lower your standards here; you should still spend time only with worthwhile company. But do question the standards to see whether they're serving you or you're serving them.
Last edited by wiltondeportes; 09-07-2013 at 11:12 PM.
It's cool to see you pick this back up, WD.
I agree with the article.
Personally, I think the biggest problem with gifted education and construct is that gifted people don't get mainstreamed. Mainstreaming -- a process that happens often with variously abled students -- brings about a cohesive sense among classrooms (and later in life) that everyone has some kind of talent and value, and that you can be friends with anyone.
I was raised mainstreamed; my husband was raised gifted. The suffering that being raised gifted brought him was hard-core. I can't explain all of it, but the angst that you describe here is basically it (not to mention a lot of anxiety about not living up to his potential/etc). I don't really have those hang ups -- about others or myself.
Basically, I like a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. I have friends at all intelligence levels and from all kinds of walks of life. Each one brings joy and richness to my life, and I enjoy their company. A lot of them do a LOT of things way better than I ever could, and what I do -- perhaps I do it better than they do. But at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. What matters is that we enjoy each other.
There are people out there in the world who are smarter than you. There are people who are more determined. There are people who are more successful. And there always will be. And, there are people who are not as smart, not as determined, and not as successful. But *all* of these people are really valuable, awesome people. You can enjoy them in a variety of ways -- including in a romantic, non-"fuck buddy" way.
All you have to do is get over yourself. That's really it. You get over the idea that the person you are with has to be "X." Consider other valuable attributes to you.
I say this because I have a friend. She's very special. She is totally unique. And, she also has a very specialized diet (for health reasons). The reason she has trouble meeting people is not because people aren't good enough, it's becuase *she believes* that people A. won't accept and/or understand her uniqueness, and B. won't accept and/or accommodate her unique dietary needs.
You might notice that the "dark side" of your rant is not that you are intelligent, but that you think your intelligence inhibits your ability to relate AND that it inhibits other people's ability to relate to you. Likewise, you might think that your diet won't be accepted or accommodated, rather than noting that most people really, truly don't care when it comes down to it, and it needn't inhibit you.
So basically, in order to "loosen up" -- you need to explore the "shadow sides" of these attributes that you prize and how those become excuses as to why you can't achieve what you want to achieve.
Sometimes ditzes need lovin' too.
Sent via F-22 Raptor
I agree with zoebird. I'm a pretty smart person. When I was dating I went out with people of various levels of intelligence. Everyone had something to offer. My best relationship outside of my husband was a guy that was probably below average intelligence. He was incredibly kind, fun, interesting and just a good person to the core.
Maybe I just got lucky. My husband is also really smart. After we met we joined Mensa together. We haven't done much with Mensa though because so many of the members were totally caught up in their own intelligence and it was really annoying.
Anyway, while it is true that not everyone is super smart you can target smart people by going where they are. Pretty much everyone I know could get into Mensa and I know a lot of people. I met them in college, gaming groups, art classes, at work, etc. There are lots of smart people out there.
Sent from my Nexus 4 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
What the fuck is up with OP. Reminds me of one of those fat atheists you see on OKCupid who decide they are incredibly smart and precious because they don't believe in god/gods.
I generally do not evaluate "intelligence" of students until they graduate, find a job they like, excel in it and manage some responsibility. Seems you have some time to go.
Only physicist who is allowed rant the way you did is Feynman.
Go for a run and feel sorry now.
Few but ripe.