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Thread: Funny CW moments

  1. #991
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Brooklyn, CT
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    My favorite part of those things is the number of sex tips each month. 72 things... 58 things..... do they have a fish bowl with little papers and some dice.

  2. #992
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    My personal favorite was the one that said play with his balls with giving him head. Uh... Duh?
    My point exactly. If you are just learning these things, you are in the remedial class.
    "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

  3. #993
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    RitaRose's Ultimate Guide To Sex

    1. Have fun.
    2. Try something new every once in a while.

    Yup, that's it, the full list.

    Cosmo is just annoying, but I loved it when I was very young and had no actual skills other than showing up naked.
    My sorely neglected blog -

  4. #994
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Dayton OH
    3. Speak up if something does/does not feel good. Seriously. Your partner can't read you mind, tell them what you do/do not like.

  5. #995
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    My personal favorite was the one that said play with his balls with giving him head. Uh... Duh?
    What magazine was it that said, "Tips for married sex: 1. After you say "I do" never blow him again." ?

    My ex-wife apparently subscribed and who ever decided that needs to die.

    Going back to CW wisdom and amusement...I have house guest who is eating whole grain shredded wheat. It is about 3 ingredients, all grains, but lacks all the 'wtf is that?' list of ingredients. On the box it touts how Post is happy to bring you a health food without all the fillers and how great it is to eat real food. Um..then why the fuck not just eat real food? And then Post, explain to me why you make all that other processed crap if real food is so good.

  6. #996
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    The Maritimes
    So I went into the doctor, told him about my mostly meat diet (he's vegan), he said "so you're on the paleo diet" and then proceeded to recommend tofu because of my activity level.
    WTF!? He knows how I eat and then makes a recommendation that completely goes against it.

    I then brought up the estrogen synthesizing properties of tofu/soy and he brushed it off like dust off a hat.
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  7. #997
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    New Westminster BC
    Quote Originally Posted by CoyoteVick View Post
    Also, how the hell would you even do that!!! I can barely keep listerine in my mouth for the amount of time it takes to rinse my gums with it. OUCH.

    Seriously, the tips that aren't downright idiotic are so basic that if you don't know to do them, I can't help you. Like, OMG he might enjoy having his nipples played with?!?!? HOW NAUGHTY!!!! *rolls eyes*
    Seriously right? The only rule about sex: Try new things, and make sure you're both enjoying it.
    I'm a paleo foodie, come check out my recipes:

  8. #998
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by hazmat View Post
    I love when people order egg white omelets and whole wheat toast at the deli. The CW is beaten into these people's heads.
    You should be asking for all those egg yolks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nion View Post
    Some of them are downright stupid, honestly. I saw one with about keeping Listerine in your mouth while sucking for a 'cooling sensation'.
    It's ain't gonna be cooling. it will be stinging and BURNING
    Back to multi-tasking again...
    A steak a day keeps the doctor away

  9. #999
    The Listerine comment reminds me about that fire and ice condom or lube or something. Ok, so icy hot in the jock strap is an age old prank because it DOESN't feel good and now you want me to put that shit on my junk willingly?

  10. #1000
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Speaking of bucking conventional wisdom, my One Rule is the longer I do the same things with the same person, and work more on what's going on between us outside the bedroom, the less it's about technique and the more intimate, spiritual, satisfying, and mind-blowing it becomes. My father told me the same thing after nearly 30 years of marriage and only now, after 14 years of my own, do I have the immense privilege of really living how right he was.
    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

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