Now it's supposed to be uncomfortable too?
I was thinking it was the most comfortable thing ever...
I think that peoples are having very different types of relationships around here.
It's possible to be really comfortable with a thing, like the most comfortable favorite best fitting most worn in pair of jeans you own (that magically seem to re-size right along with you), and NOT take them for granted.
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.
Some days I'm impatient or can barely contain the eye-rolling at his idiocy. Some days he gets bitchy about my bitchy-ness. We have weathered lots of hardship and financial stress. We are proud of having made it through the rough patches. We both know we could put more energy and effort into recreating that "spark"...but its such a small thing compared to what we DO have. We make an effort to be kind to one another. We avoid pushing each other's buttons. We accept one another. We are comfortable. We are content. We have trust and understanding.
Annie Ups the Ante
We've been a couple for 39 years; married for 36.
The only secret here (and I figured this early) is that she is the 'most important person in both our lives'.
Well, that and a sense of humor.
Retirement has afforded me the ultimate affluence, that of free time (Sahlins/Wells)
Almost 25 years in here. Three kids, unemployment, health issues (both), and the usual life problems along the way...
You said you love, care and comfort one another. That, my friend, is a rare thing in this world. It's easy when it's hot and sexy. Who doesn't love that feeling? But having someone to help you back to bed because you are too weak from the colonoscopy prep is pretty awesome too!
Practical advice--let go of fantasizing of that other person. Let it be a momentary distraction. Rest assured, that person would not be able to be "on" all the time either. Bills gotta be paid, laundry ain't sexy, and no one can be at their sparkly best constantly.
Antidepressants really suck. They might keep a person from feeling sad, but they keep most other feelings away as well. Personal experience, here. Some are better than others, none is best. BUT, it is a slow and methodical process that takes lots of work and the help of a medical professional.
I'll echo reaching out to friends for help with your little one so you can be together some more. I've had to do that, and I've been called on to do it. The people who care for you would much rather spend some time with your cutie pie than see you divorce. Walks are free.
Have hope. Be good and loving to yourself. Make your innerspeak encouraging and honest. As far as sex, learn to enjoy the slow burn of an old love. It can be satisfying in a whole new way if you can open yourself up to it.
Take a deep breath. Reassess what you have instead of what you don't have. Love, comfort, and care. That's quite a lot.
Peace and love to you and your family.