No sarcasm, that was a good defense. And I appreciate your staunch stance, in the face of this most recent study, which - as we all know - is just another study and proves nothing per se.
I concede you have poked good holes in my arguments. BUT! What if coffee is good for some people and bad for others? As a person with all the obvious signs of asperger's syndrome, I find coffee necessary. Yes, I've quit. And it didn't take long to figure out how much coffee, primarily the caffeine as best I can tell, was helping me live my life well.
Yes, I was a video-game, kool-aid and ritalin kid, so the confounding variables are many. But I can tell you, without coffee, I'd be likely to quit my job and walk to Canada and live in the forest. I snap without it, like a bored teenager. It not only keeps me focused on the day to day details like doing my job (microbiology lab assistant and phlebotomist), but it keeps me away from dreaming about escape, it keeps me grounded in the work of the day, focused on life instead of dreams.
Steak, eggs, potatoes - fruits, nuts, berries and forage. Coconut milk and potent herbs and spices. Tea instead of coffee now and teeny amounts of kelp daily. Let's see how this does! Not really had dairy much, and gut seems better for it.