just had to LOL at your post title "Primal Pimple" hilarious!
sorry I don't have anything constructive to add
I would stay away from the shea butter and the coconut oil as moisturizers. If you feel you have to have a moisturizer, try a non comedogenic oil-free one from a brand like Neutrogena or something similar. One thing I'm really careful about is when I'm washing my hair after I rinse the conditioner out I wash my face again just to make sure that no conditioner got on the skin. Don't use any fabric softener in the towels you use on your face. You also might think about changing your pillow case every night. This has made a huge difference for me. When you're laying on your pillow at night, you have 8 hours in which you're rubbing in the oils from your face and hair into the material of the cover. I don't think you said if you wore makeup or what kind, but if you do, stay away from the liquid foundations and consider using one of the mineral powder makeups instead.
Ok, I ditched the soap and conditioner and moisturizer as of yesterday. Maybe it is something in one of them? I wonder if my hair itself makes me break out. I woke up this morning and stayed in bed a little longer, and I noticed that my hair touches everywhere I'm breaking out. It's super long, and I end up sleepin on it more than the pillow itself. Maybe my conditioner, despite being organic, is messin me up. I don't wear makeup except mineral blush and mascara. So that can't be it. I tried a cool shower last night so we'll see how not using hot water goes.
What if it strickly hormonal? I don't wanna mess with that stuff! I just want to eat some fat and balance!
Don't let anybody tell you, "You can't" just because they can't.
Pimples around the mouth could be perioral dermatitis. They look like clusters of pimples around the mouth (may also be around the eyes- then it would be periocular dermatitis), they may be itchy and usually get mistaken for acne. It is very common in women especially users of topical steroids. Check it out on the internet Perioral dermatitis (periorificial dermatitis, muzzle rash). DermNet NZ. I have it and tried many of the natural remedies with no luck. I eventually had to go on antibiotics to clear it but if I use anything too harsh on my skin it comes back.
Hope that helps.