I had a man tell me "lose weight and get implants and I'd marry you". My response? I told him everything that was physically not the ideal about him (there was plenty) and threw him the hell our of my apartment and my life. You should do the same, IMO.OH this post is just perfect.
To the original poster,
I started dating someone who has met me in the middle of my weight loss. But I don't have 5 lbs to lose. More like 30 to 40. And he has flat out admitted he is not very attracted to me, about after a month of getting to know each other he admitted this. Am I dating him now? Yes. Truthfully, he laid out a long unconventional conversation telling me how much he likes everything else about me, and will support me with the weight loss but doesn't feel the attraction until that point. He thinks I'm "worth the wait" I suppose.
Now I'm 2 degrees left from telling him to go f*ck himself, 2 degrees right from finally telling him he can be my boyfriend. Which he wants. I'm not sure if his brutal honesty is a good or bad thing. It's toying with my childhood romanticism, and I can't decide what to do. In the mean time we haven't gone "all the way" (wink wink) and we all know exactly why. No shit.
A bit of a different situation in specifics, but similar in this: if you let this go and just wait until you lose the 5 lbs, you are essentially nonverbally contracting yourself to a certain standard your significant other expects you to maintain. By silently losing the 5 lbs, you do this. Are you comfortable with that? It doesn't really matter what others think. It's what YOU are comfortable with.
Just like you said, if you gained 5 lbs by way of "letting yourself go," you would understand his complaints. So you do have a certain standard for yourself that similarly agrees with his standard of you. However, your understandable reason for this stress-induced gain doesn't register in his mind. A 5 lb weight gain is a 5 lb weight gain to him, and I don't think his physical attraction (which is far more physical for guys than emotional) will distinguish between a stress-induced gain or otherwise.
Just a lot to ponder over. Now, my 2 cents about YOUR man (not my man). 5 lbs is such a tiny weight gain, I can't imagine silently contracting myself to that standard. My weight fluctuates +/- 5 lbs. And a size 4? That's perfect. If he is turned off by that weight gain, that's just SHALLOW. Doesn't matter what the circumstances. Even if you deliberately gained the weight. Guys can't notice if you cut your hair but they'll notice 5 lbs? No no no.
I did a bad job of wrapping my response up in a neat bow but all my 2 cents is in jambles. See above.