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    Be very quiet, children. Turn off your lights...

    Be very quiet, children. Turn off your lights and pretend to not be home. Poo Hurler is hooting and screaming maniacally in the street at the moment.

    I hate this neighborhood.
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    Perhaps it's just another symptom of the speshul...

    Perhaps it's just another symptom of the speshul czneuflake-ization* that childhood has become.

    * Truthfully, most of the kids I taught were not special snowflakes. It's just a very noisy...
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    A headless scarecrow would raise no eyebrows in...

    A headless scarecrow would raise no eyebrows in the Magical Bamboo Forest. Really, really small towns frighten me for reasons like this. I am glad to have always lived in a giant sea of anonymity....
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    Oh! And this infuriating exchange (what was it...

    Oh! And this infuriating exchange (what was it about the Rune series? It had the worst luck):

    Gay Panda: I am submitting a sample of my young adult series for your consideration.
    Well-Known...
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    Lady Friend and I were having an interesting...

    Lady Friend and I were having an interesting conversation the other day about people who dress up in Nazi costumes for Halloween. (I think Prince Harry dressed up as a Nazi for a party and there was...
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    I won't tell you what happens, but I had to take...

    I won't tell you what happens, but I had to take a break from that series for my mental health during the writing of Volume IV. One character's story arc just slaughtered me. The Runes and Sigils...
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    The Honey Boo Boo Scandal just gets worse and...

    The Honey Boo Boo Scandal just gets worse and worse, and then while I was reading a comment thread after an article about it, someone mentioned that a very famous sci-fi/fantasy author and magazine...
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    THANK YOU!!! I'm going to sleep cuddled up...

    THANK YOU!!!

    I'm going to sleep cuddled up with my teddy bear after watching that scary video. I loved the comments beneath it.
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    OTTER!!! I am doing my best at making a timely...

    OTTER!!!

    I am doing my best at making a timely announcement for once. I've enrolled two titles in the Kindle Scout program (in which people can read the first 5K of books and vote on ones they...
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    ZOEBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you doing????

    ZOEBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you doing????
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    I love that kitten's face. Why did you DO that? ...

    I love that kitten's face. Why did you DO that? How COULD you?

    And yes, ick about 'the past is irrelevant'. Double ick about the statement that before you judge his past, you should judge your...
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    Thank you!!! I needed those pictures after what...

    Thank you!!! I needed those pictures after what I read today about a family member defending the child molester.
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    After reading the latest gossip news about Honey...

    After reading the latest gossip news about Honey Boo Boo's family, I require copious amounts of brain bleach. UGH. Someone post panda cub or kitten pictures STAT.
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    He's really sweet. When I go over to Lady...

    He's really sweet. When I go over to Lady Friend's office to visit, he jumps in my lap and winds his paws around my neck. Then he purrs.
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    I KNOW!!!! I grew up in the Earthquake State* -...

    I KNOW!!!! I grew up in the Earthquake State* - nothing new to see here, move along.

    * In my junior year of high school, an afternoon earthquake threw me right into my P.E. locker. I never...
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    Here is an analogy for you: The Winchester...

    Here is an analogy for you:

    The Winchester Mystery House is to spookiness as 50 Shades of Gray is to sexiness. Which is a fail.

    I was not ghost-napped, sadly. But I did get to spend an hour...
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    I am soon to leave for a flashlight tour of the...

    I am soon to leave for a flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House. In the event that evil spirits claim me for The Other Side tonight, I leave you with my fond farewell and this hysterical...
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    ????Do you want a book dedication for your...

    ????Do you want a book dedication for your present???? I have three books coming out in November-December and two have no dedications. You can choose:

    A) Gross Zombie Story (Gay Panda's swan...
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    Sometimes I think we are long-lost relatives. My...

    Sometimes I think we are long-lost relatives. My brain overloads exactly that way, too.

    I hope The Sore has gone away. :(
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    W. T. Ever-loving. F. Now I need a palate...

    W. T. Ever-loving. F.

    Now I need a palate cleanser. Going off to Lady Friend's work to play with the kittens. (Did I mention that Poxie took a mighty leap into the toilet the other day? He was...
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    I have the pictures. I have the computer. I...

    I have the pictures. I have the computer. I just do not have the tech spells to put these things together. And I cannot ask Lady Friend, who is gallantly crash-editing a book for me right now, and...
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    It was very strange to be in The Baby Aisle at...

    It was very strange to be in The Baby Aisle at Whole Foods this morning when Gay Panda neither has a baby nor one on the way, but Lady Friend needed wipes for Pigpen the Office Kitten. He's a very...
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    You're welcome! I think she's going to yell at...

    You're welcome!

    I think she's going to yell at me that she is Jewish and pagan, and then I will present her with the sequels Eight Nights of Naughty and A Solstice Spanking.

    Yeah, I'm...
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    Wedding Night with Mr. Tentacle First she...

    Wedding Night with Mr. Tentacle

    First she waited for Mr. Right.
    Then she settled for Mr. Good Enough.
    What she got was Mr. Tentacle.

    Nope, I just can't write any more of this blurb. GROSS. ...
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    I can totally live with it. When I was a Teenage...

    I can totally live with it. When I was a Teenage Mutant Panda Cub, I used to dust the piano with my very fluffy white cat. She'd give me The Look afterwards and I'd say I FEED YOU AND CLEAN YOUR...
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