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  1. When I was in Nepal, my friend Ann insisted on...

    When I was in Nepal, my friend Ann insisted on carrying pepper spray. She only took it out once, proceeded to accidentally spray her hand and then not fully wash it off before she touched face.........
  2. I once sliced the tip of my thumb off while...

    I once sliced the tip of my thumb off while cutting an apple. Fortunately it was reattached. Yay accident prone ladies!
  3. Keep this in mind y'all. This statement will...

    Keep this in mind y'all. This statement will always be true.

    I like the newspaper background. Clever, and works well with monochrome looks. I love all white outfits in theory, but I'm far...
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    It's magenta.

    It's magenta.
  5. I feel like any show about a specific profession...

    I feel like any show about a specific profession is going to be like that. I'm sure doctors hate watching Grey's Anatomy, cops hate watching Law and Order, etc.



    I LOVE NYC. But. It's not...
  6. Good luck! Merde! Break a leg! You are gonna...

    Good luck! Merde! Break a leg! You are gonna rock it.
  7. Oh hush girl, you got this in the bag.

    Oh hush girl, you got this in the bag.
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    Oooooh, I'm torn on this one. I want to keep MY...

    Oooooh, I'm torn on this one. I want to keep MY yoga pants, but there are certain asses I'd rather not see in such high def......



    Decriminalizing all drugs has actually worked out REALLY well...
  9. And now I am craving mini mushroom pizzas while I...

    And now I am craving mini mushroom pizzas while I sit at my desk at work. THANKS OBAMA!
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    I'm not sure what I'm more excited for, 5 more...

    I'm not sure what I'm more excited for, 5 more hotties or 5 more of your captions.
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    We will happily accept both bearded and non...

    We will happily accept both bearded and non bearded submissions.
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    BensonElPosman, thank you for those arms kind...

    BensonElPosman, thank you for those arms kind sir.

    I just watched the new Magic Mike XXL trailer, so I am in an objectification mindset. Come on guys, show us your abz! (And other bits)
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    Sorry, but I don't understand how this works? If...

    Sorry, but I don't understand how this works? If they don't actually want the soda, why buy it and sell it back?
  14. I just realized that I cut and pasted the wrong...

    I just realized that I cut and pasted the wrong link. I meant to do this one:
    http://i.imgur.com/R9eyFqx.jpg
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    Definitely photoshoot pictures. ...

    Definitely photoshoot pictures.






    Yes please.

    A little inspiration: Naked Warwick Men's Rowing Team Calendar Makes A Splash To Fight Homophobia
  16. Catherine Deneuve once said, "After a certain...

    Catherine Deneuve once said, "After a certain age, you have to choose between your fanny and your face." Basically, most people lose fat in their face as they age so if you already have very low body...
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    My parents would have 100% signed off on...

    My parents would have 100% signed off on something saying that I kept a vegetarian diet even though I 100% would not actually do so. They would have found that assignment idiotic.
  18. Oh good, that is excellent news! Josh is a...

    Oh good, that is excellent news!



    Josh is a nutjob, you should see the random crap he texts my friend. He's actually right on the verge of really breaking into things. Working on pilots and...
  19. The blizzard was lame, but I got work from home...

    The blizzard was lame, but I got work from home yesterday so I'm not complaining.

    Also, thefatjewish is my close friend's brother-in-law. He gave them and excellent best man speech.
  20. Meh, I'm not that worried. I'm sure I have some...

    Meh, I'm not that worried. I'm sure I have some canned tuna as well. Honestly, I don't know why people are freaking out either. Like, if you live in the 'burbs and need a car to get places I can...
  21. A friend was watching CNN at work and saw the...

    A friend was watching CNN at work and saw the Westside Market on my block in a segment. The shelves were empty. Meanwhile the only supplies I have at my place right now are: 4 eggs, half a jar of...
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    A) Why would you talk about you flat butt on...

    A) Why would you talk about you flat butt on facebook? Why do you want people to know that?
    B) If she jogs on a treadmill her butt will get even flatter!
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    How has no one made a "Making a video like that...

    How has no one made a "Making a video like that takes balls" joke yet? Someone funnier than me?

    Welcome back OldSchool! Time to crush recovery like you crush PRs.
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    YES! This made me happy.

    YES! This made me happy.
  25. Dude, are you posting naked selfies now??? JKJKJK...

    Dude, are you posting naked selfies now??? JKJKJK it's just your hair. Unless you are, in which case no judgement.
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