The 3 Day Rule
A little over a week ago, I discovered this website and began reading The Primal Connection. I'd been gluten free off and on for the past couple of years but only recently did I discover how bad it is for me to eat corn. I thought it was okay for me to eat corn tortilla chips and popcorn. I realized recently that it isn't okay; my stomach blew up like a balloon. Looked like I was approaching my 2nd trimester. And I've always made it a point to be fit.
I spent the better part of this past year living in California due to work after being in the midwest for 9 years. I noticed that despite the traffic and parking nightmares in CA, people seemed happier and more importantly to me, thinner. And now, after reading Mark's initial email lessons, it's dawning on me why. I'd dismissed Californians as far-left, hippies. And yes, some of them are but they're definitely on to something. They hike, they bike, they shop organic at farmer's markets and they get sunlight. Sound familiar?
In May, I returned to the midwest. As I drove east along what used to be Route 66, I noticed that people's waistlines got bigger the further I got inland. Sad but true. By the time I got to Oklahoma and Missouri, it was glaringly obvious: These folks aren't as healthy as the folks in Cali. Yes, I'm generalizing. I know. But I call it like I see it. And a lot of it deals with eating and movement.
So last weekend I went to the farmer's market here in St. Louis. Instead of running so much anymore, I'm walking and biking at a slower pace. I'm trying to get more sleep. I've even taken a meditation class. So far so good.
Now on to the title of my post. Thanks for reading thus far. I saw a short film last night about the "3 Day Rule". Plot: A girl drives herself crazy waiting for a guy to call after giving him her phone number. On day one, she's staring at the phone and checking it relentlessly. Day two, she's consulting with all of her friends about "why he isn't calling." And by day three, she's completely stressed out and in an alcoholic stupor. Too wasted to hear the phone ringing when the guy does finally call on day three.
It was a cute film and it got me thinking. My male friend confirmed that it's routine for guys to wait until three days after getting the phone number to actually call the girl. Hmm. I doubt our primal ancestors would have behaved this way. Would a primal male wait 3 days before pursuing a female he was attracted to? I seriously doubt it. I think back then it was simpler. You see, you like, you pursue. Besides, if you wait 3 days, that female may have found another mate and then you've missed out. I realized that my male friends who are waiting to call are getting themselves into a mentally contrived state unnecessarily. They worry about looking desperate if they call too soon, looking like a loser, making her think he's in demand...Nonsense I say. Waiting so long isn't primal behavior and as Mark said in his book, this sort of self-talk is sabotaging.
Last week I went into an Old Navy store that I don't normally frequent. The manager was gorgeous. I wanted to speak to him. But instead, I internally self-talked my way out of it (e.g. He won't be interested in me because I'm older, etc.) Today, I'm kicking myself and here comes the self dialogue. Should I go out of my way to visit that particular Old Navy again? Could-a, should-a, would-a. All this angst could have been avoided had I behaved in a more primal manner. You see, you like, you pursue. Even if he'd flat-out rejected me, I wouldn't have doubts lingering for days. :rolleyes:
I guess the point of this diatribe is this: my goal is to not only be primal when it comes to diet but also when it comes to action.
Now back to SharkNado. There are only a few minutes left.
Go back and talk to him!!
Ha, it is working exactly as intended. You are waiting for the guy to call. You are wondering if you should have approached the manager guy. It's working out perfectly for them- they've got you running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
You are giving them all YOUR power. Don't do that.
...still laughing at this idea of asking someone for their number in 2013. Hint: getting a means of contact is NOT the reason to ask that question.
Well 3 days is kinda money
Wow. A younger, slimmer Vince Vaughn. That clip is the exact type of analysis I'm talking about. I doubt our male primal ancestors waited 3 days to call and I doubt our female primal ancestors were waiting by the phone for the call.
I'm going to do a search on this forum to see what is the recommended primal behavior when it comes to dating/interacting with the opposite sex.
[QUOTE=loafingcactus;1256070]Ha, it is working exactly as intended. You are waiting for the guy to call. You are wondering if you should have approached the manager guy. It's working out perfectly for them- they've got you running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
You are giving them all YOUR power. Don't do that.[/QUOTE]
Why approach it like that? I've seen guys do that -- think of women as some sort of evil monolith with all the "power".
Forget "power". I met my former wife at a bar. We exchanged numbers. She called me the next day. I didn't think she was desperate, I thought "wow, she really digs me". Isn't that most people's reactions? I mean who are these haughty all-powerfull people who "bwa-ha-ha" when the phone rings. We're all mostly insecure adolelscents.
I am a fan of not playing games at all, and that also is how I approach my marriage - if I want flowers, for ex., I simply ask for them, no crankiness or hint dropping or anything. If I do that at the same time every year, hubby catches on. Yeah, he does things on his own, too, just in case you wonder. I just see no point in wishing he could/would mind read or something. I could buy them myself, but I mean for times I really would rather have his attention, ya know? And I really like nice flowers.
Grok here and Grok there, just be honest and be yourself. If you want to see him, go and ask.
When hubby and I were dating, I planted the first kiss. Must have made an impression...
This reply might be too Neolithic for you, but I think it's rude and potentially unfair to ask out someone while he's working,especially in a service position that effectively requires him to be nice to you. Regardless of gender, in this situation, I think it's fine to flirt, but let the worker ask for your number. Or stalk him until you find him off work so that he can tell you to piss off if he's so inclined.
I have a very boring protocol for dating. Here's it is:
1) Make my intentions clear and confirm she isn't spoken for in the first minute of talking to her. You say "Hey, my name is Laz. I saw you from over there and you are gorgeous. I want to take you out sometime to see if we'd have any chemistry or whatever it's called. Are you spoken for?" I know this is aggressive, but it's honest, and women appreciate that if they are my kind anyway. If they don't, we wouldn't get along. Saves time.
2) Never give out my own number first, and tell her when I will be calling. I usually pick the following day, and I am very specific. "Awesome. I will call you tomorrow evening around 7. If you don't hear from me I am either in a hospital or incarcerated."
3) Make it clear that if at any point she isn't feeling it, to just tell me and I will never bother her again....it's hard to be aggressive AND non-threatening. This is the only no BS way I know.
4) First time you come to my place, if it gets that far, no makeup is allowed.
Overall though I think women have this crazy idea that men don't like assertiveness on their part...that is just plain garbage, copout stuff. It is sexy and very effective :)