q re: OT personal, embarassing matter
I bring this humiliating matter here because I can't bring myself to ask anyone I actually know. I bring this here knowing I'm exposing myself to a world of abuse but honestly, no one will probably tell me anything I haven't already told myself.
I've had (or attempted) sexual relations with five men in the last five years. Three of them were sexually dysfunctional to the point of normal intercourse being impossible. That's 60% of the men I try to have sex with being unable to achieve or maintain an erection or unable to ejaculate via intercourse. Is that a normal rate or do I need to face the possibility that it's me?
They were all between 35-45 years old, if that matters.
Self-assessment of my sexual desirability: I'm no Kate Upton but I'm not fugly. I have little trouble finding a partner when I want one and the feedback is that I'm "attractive"*, but it just goes downhill once the clothes come off. A significant weight gain followed by significant weight loss wrecked my boobs and I'm very self-conscious about that. This was very rarely a problem before the weight gain but I was having sex with younger men then.
I'd love to believe it's a combination of bad luck and the aging of my pool of available sexual partners, but I can't avoid the evidence in front of my face. 60% of men are physically incapable of doing me.
Feedback? I'd ask you to be honest but sensitive, but I get that this is the internet and accept that I'm chumming the waters.
*I use this word because this is the word men most often use to describe my appearance to me. For all I know "attractive" is code for "you're fugly but I don't have anything else to do right now."