Bulimia; How Primal living gave me a new life
Heya all, my name is Alex and I'd like to share a little bit of my story with PB and just how this whole programme has changed my life forever!
Okay so since last year I was a little overweight for my age. At the time I was just turning 16 and I weighed 68kg at the worst of times...not good haha.
So I was determined to loose the fat and so began my journey of weight loss. I did really well cycling, sprinting and walking tons. Then I joined the local gym last October and improvement soared.
However due to family, divorce, moving countries, bullying, self esteem and depression issues that have lasted for me for my whole life I had/have a lot of stress to deal with on a daily basis. Anyways at that time I started struggling with college work after becoming ill and missing several lessons.
I became severely depressed and lost a lot of weight through not eating and throwing up. I developed bulimia and pressured myself to get skinny, I compared myself to models in magazines and always looked in the mirror saying I wasn't good enough.
My weight dropped to 52.7kg by February this year. Underweight.
My thighs had lots of fat, I had lost my muscle and my upper body looked anorexic. My eyes were dark and I had hollows under my cheek bones.
Sleeping was impossible as my ribs always dug into me, my joints clicked and hurt, my back was intensively painful and I ran out of breath getting up the stairs. I also had very frequent head rushes and fainted a few times.
I have had troubles with suicidal depression and this was one of those moments.
When my dad visited me and my sister (My parents split 7 years ago and my dad stayed in the USA whilst my mom moved us to the UK where I now reside until the day I can finally leave and rejoin my dad-I have issues with my mom.) over the half term holiday he was shocked saying I was an empty shell like a dried out husk of my former self. He and my mom were really concerned and contacted therapy help (which I still have).
I can't remember how I stumbled across Mark's Daily Apple but it was a fateful day. I read the articles and his logic looking for answers, desperate to find a solution, desperate to become healthy and fit again.
And when I read it I couldn't believe how stupid CW really was! [I]Everything[/I] made sense and the exercise plans and eating rules all seemed so reasonable.
I did further research and decided to give it a go. At this point I was struggling heavily with binging and purging bulimia often eating tons and throwing up about 8 times a day.
I just felt so depressed I wanted to escape and used food as a way to bite back the tears. In a binging session I was out of control, like a starved wolf, I hardly even recognised what was in my mouth gorging on anything in sight even if I didn't like it. Then I felt awful and was so scared of gaining weight and becoming fat that I would race to the toilet and proceed to erm purge...
At which point I would then break down and burst into tears.
My mom and sister grew angry and desperate as I was wasting and eating all their food. My mom criticised and punished me for doing it but of course I couldn't help myself, I was just trying to escape.
I have to say the first two weeks were ups and downs, I used My Fitness Pal to strictly record everything I ate and prepared and cooked all my foods 3 times a day not allowing any snacking.
Immediately I had even less energy than before and felt exhausted but I was noticing differences, I returned to exercise and the gym and after a few sessions I remember feeling so overjoyed one morning for no reason I started running about the house and had an adrenaline rush....don't know why hahah I just felt so happy and stronger!
I had problems with craving sweet things but then I discovered Almond butter and as I have been allergic to peanuts my entire life I had never tried Peanut butter and was delighted to hear of a healthy alternative!
Ever since the first spoonful I have never had problems craving anything sweet, starchy, grainy or processed.
I know that the almighty Almond butter is the god of all foods and nothing is worth it compared to that! :P
So almond butter stopped me craving and binging on tons of things which in turn meant I didn't feel guilty and throw it up. The strict approach I have taken to monitoring my fitness and eating has helped so much and the food has transformed my body and given me new strength not just physically but mentally too!
Its also extremely satisfying and tasty =P
[B]Where am I today?[/B]
I did fall off the wagon badly last month but I'm back on track working harder than ever before.
Unfortunately its been difficult to up my weight but it has reached a good 53.7kg now and I realize I gotta take this slowly and at my body's own pace.
However I have reduced my body fat percentage from 24% to 20% and packed on some good muscles and toned my thigh and abs better.
I am still a little weak at times but my strength has increased and I grow slowly stronger every day.
As for sleeping and the pains in my body? Gone! I now sleep like a rock...a primal rock =P
My bulimia has all but disappeared, I havn't had a problem with it for several weeks (which is awsome for me!!). Mentally I am in a much better place and although I still have tons of problems to sort out atleast I feel ready to tackle them better each day.
Thank you Mark Sisson, thank you Primal Blueprint, you have truly changed my life forever and you have my eternal respect and gratitude.