Naiad-----you ARE perfect. You are the perfect reflection of the stars who gave birth to you.
Please don't forget that?
You don't have to be any particular "way" for anyone else. You are, as TFG so eloquently put it---
an exquisitely formed blade, gleaming in the moonlight.
[QUOTE=naiadknight;225014]I'd like to say "I'm done with being perfect, I'm human too," but it just doesn't happen like that. It's a slow process, one that I work on everyday. When you control the head, you control the body. That's my mantra for that right now. Just trying to wrap my head around it, then I can follow it.[/QUOTE]
ain't that the god dang truth. it's difficult, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. at least we recognize it, that's a huge step, i guess.
Thanks for your support.
Kuno, I'm not perfect, I won't ever be perfect. I catch your drift, but to claim I'm perfect means I've learned every lesson I'm supposed to learn this go-round, which obviously I haven't. I'm aiming to be ME, but first I have to dig through all the layers of armor to figure out what that is and what's perfection fluff.
TFG, I still have many lessons left to learn (hey, I'm only 25) but there was one lesson I learned fairly early on: the people that matter, don't mind and the people that mind, don't matter. I learned that one back when I was first trying to figure out MY spirituality and people would freak out if I told them it wasn't any organized faith. That facade has helped me through the years, but if I'm going to be the old bitch who takes no shit, then I gotta work on being a younger woman that takes no shit. And that means hacking away the pieces of that facade and removing that damned patch and burning it so I can't try to sew it back on. As to your steel analogy, there was something my paca once said to me: "People that lead a safe, boring life are safe, boring people. All the interesting people have learned things the hard way." I keep telling myself that all the shit I've endured makes up who I am, and I wouldn't be ME without it.
Batty- Watch that first step, it's doozy. Thanks for the hugs.
the people that matter, don't mind and the people that mind, don't matter.
That is so very true. I love your quote about safe, boring people. <3 Don't be one of those.
[QUOTE=naiadknight;225128] That facade has helped me through the years, but if I'm going to be the old bitch who takes no shit, then I gotta work on being a younger woman that takes no shit. [/QUOTE]
Some of that happens by what you're doing... figuring out who you REALLY are, and becoming comfortable with that, accepting it. You still work on stuff, keep growing, but you become comfortable with WHO you are because you've had so many experiences that have helped you figure that out.
And some of it is just age. After a while it's too tiring to give a flying F*&$ what other people think, unless they're people you respect and usually then they have some good info for you. Random folks, though... they're comments or criticisms or whatever... becomes meaningless in the grand scheme of things. It's actually a very nice thing about getting to be an old broad. I'm liking it a lot.
Well put, Minxxa! :) And hugs Naiadknight!
IF: 23 hrs
Dinner: stir fry ( chuck steak, frozen stir fry veggie mix, carrot, onion, green bell, celery, frozen green beans, sauce (fish sauce, ground gingr, garlic, lime juice, onion), coconut and toasted sesame oils)
Dessert: pumpkin pudding
[B]1. Eat lots of animals, insects and plants.[/B]
O3: 0 6:: 1: 4, w/ 1 tsp. fish oil
[B]2. Move around a lot at a slow pace.[/B]
Went to the mall trying to find a little black dress suitable for a funeral, work, etc. Found a $140 dress for $25.
[B]3. Lift heavy things.[/B]
Crap. I meant to do that.
[B]4. Run really fast every once in a while.[/B]
Sprinted a couple times to avoid getting hit.
[B]5. Get lots of sleep.[/B]
4.75 hrs. Woke up at my previous weekday hour (0545) and couldn't get back to sleep, mostly due to pain from digestive stress. Problem has been solved.
[B]7. Get some sunlight every day.[/B]
7k IU Vit D
[B]8. Avoid trauma.[/B]
[B]9. Avoid poisonous things.[/B]
[B]10. Use your mind.
[/B]helped Shrinking Violet figure out what what needed to happen for her to be able to follow PB. Don't tell an engineer it's impossible. That just presents a challenge that must be solved. Helped her with the eats part, we'll work on the work out part when she's feeling better.
Slid into a size 0 dress that fit everywhere except the hips (par for the course) and bought a size dress that fit perfectly.
Went to the mall trying to find a little black dress suitable for a funeral, work, etc. Found a $140 dress for $25.[/QUOTE]
Here's to you feeling happy and loved by your Grandma every time you wear that dress, after her funeral.
Oh, I went to the doc today. TSH, Free T3, Free T4, and VAP tests are being run. Found out that I actually HAVE hashimoto's thyroiditis. Still doing research on what that means to my life. Asked for the CRP test, she basically said that if it came back high, we wouldn't be able to do anything anyways, so why bother. Knowing that, I kinda agree. She tried to talk me out of the VAP, but I basically steam rollered her, so I got it. Means I'll know my lipids as well.
:x *fingers and toes crossed*