I don't think it's BDD. It's not extreme enough for that. Most days, looking in the mirror, I like what I see. There are two things I perceive(d) as flaws (lower belly pooch and the weird indentation between my upper and lower hips), but looking at them as I would see them on someone else, they are actually bonuses.
I think it's more that I keep trying to see the young woman (I can't say I'm a lady) I once was, complete with the flaws I had back then. A less extreme version of a woman who loses 100lb and has trouble seeing her new body as it is.
Funny thing is, I know why those two "flaws" are there, and they're directly related to one another: grain bloat. My lower belly sticks out because every below my abdominals is still tight, taut, and unused for breeding purposes. The lower belly has been used, and that's where grain bloat first shows up on me. Since I can't stay off the rice, corn, and dairy long enough to confirm this, it's only a guess. That indentation is actually my pelvic girdle, between the lower grain bloat and my actual hips.
Oooh...care to share the blog? I love fashion tips.
[QUOTE=lambchop;935906]Oooh...care to share the blog? I love fashion tips.[/QUOTE]
We're going to refer to yesterday as a "test day", meaning I ate all that crap to see what non primal foods really do to my body. Yeah, that's it...
Apparently, brewing cinnamon spice tea and forgetting to rinse my mug out before getting coffee gives me vaguely chai tasting coffee. That tea may have a use after all.
[QUOTE=naiadknight;935354]Dammit, that splurge wasn't worth it. I used to LOVE blueberry pancakes. I could eat them on their own with just a little butter. The ones I just ate were fairly close to what I got growing up, big fresh blueberries and all. It tasted not-there, like matress foam, with a side of blueberries and I drowned them
in fake sugar syrup. They did a damn fine job on the bacon and eggs, though, aside from the canola oil. After 3 bites, I was regretting not getting the eggs, bacon, and hashbrown plate.[/QUOTE]
This post caught my eye.
Did you not like the pancakes because the cook did not do a good job, or because your taste itself has changed? I found that many nonprimal drinks and other goodies no longer taste as good to me as they did.
I LOVE your signature, by the way.
From what I can tell, the cook did a damn fine job. I just can't really taste wheat anymore, it's too bland.
And thanks for the compliment! I need to change out that first quote again, but I love that second one, especially the spin I put on it.
Crap. I took a couple bites of a donut without thinking about it. I'm not as worried over it not being primal as I don't know what it was fried in. Google was no help. I LOVE Southern Maid, but I don't know if their "vegetable oil" has cottonseed oil in it. DAMMIT!
ETA: SHIT! Cottonseeded. Here we go with loopy migraine meds and aleve to kill it before it starts.
In Chicago. Had deep dish at Loy Malnati's the day I came in. Got through half my 6" pizza and started scraping the filling out of the crust. It was good, but I prefer my homemade deep dish, bread and all.
Had Chicago thin crust and Caesar salad yesterday for lunch, was not impressed.
Dinner last night was Rosebud's on Taylor. Excellent food, was able to stay primal without really trying. Crab stuffed whitefish over spinach with a hollandaise sauce + a glass of red. Good food, but not worth $50 for one person. Thankfully the company's picking up the tab.
Yesterday's training was an intro to the CAD- CAM system, part modelling, and part file importing, with a brief intro on how it's all done.
Great. I hafta take labor day off, and not get paid that day, as well as not being paid for any travel this week and not making a 40 hr week this week or next. I had to leave on Sunday with no compensation that day and spend 14 hrs on business or business travel yesterday with pay for only 2. Goodbye making ends meet this month. I'm so farking tired, I want to scream or cry instead of just accept it and move on, but I can't, because I'm at the office so I can at least earn SOMETHING, even if I go in the red this month.
Well, on the upside, come September I'm being hired on to the company from temp and they're bumping me to salary (net gain of a couple dollars an hour, excluding insurance and such costs.) That might cover my ass come bills due. MIGHT.
I'm sick. My throat's sore, I'm tired, I have a headache, post nasal drip, and all my lymph nodes are inflamed. The only reason I got ANYTHING up on the blog today is that the photo has become part of my morning routine. I'm also at work, because I need all the hours I can get this week after getting fucked over by the company for travel. The travel thing still pisses me off. I didn't opt to fly out on sunday or back during the workday Wednesday. Had I my choice between working and traveling without pay, my ass would've stayed in West Texas. Not being paid for most of Wednesday is going to hurt.
I'm so damn tired and hurting, I want to tell my bosses to shove it up their asses and pay me for the time they demanded I travel, how the fuck would they like traveling for business away from home and not being fucking paid for the time to get to and back?
It's not worth the anger today, so it's been pulled back to a slow fury, just so I have the energy to get through the day at the office. Anger, emotion, even speaking at normal volumes cost me more energy today than I can spare. Fucking travel. I could've stayed primal and possibly beaten this, but I didn't. I was probably at least 70% primal most days, but the fact that every restaurant served sourdough before the meal was my undoing.
I'm beating myself up for minute things because I can't get the energy to really vent out the things that and infuriating me. I do that and I n... there I go again.
FTS. I'm gonna try and concentrate solely on work (Pfft, when's the last time that happened?) and not think abt how shitty I feel or how furious I am or money.