It's never negatively affected me -- BUT, i don't have any health issues, didn't become primal/paleo to lose weight, and have no known sensitivities beyond dairy.
i even had a non-primal cupcake today followed by gluten free ANZAC biscuits. And last night, I ate pasta because we were invited to dinner.
No problems today, though. Perhaps modestly bloated, if anything.
To be honest, I think it is the opposite: primal is freedom, junk is prison.
Where I live (Denmark), it seems that EVERY celebration must be accompanied with tons of junk (and I mean the junkiest junk like ultra-processed industrial cakes the package label of which would give you pimples and stomach cramps at first glance, candies and sodas, etc). So for me, it is an absolute nogo, I don't care to not be eating like the others (sick) people in the room. If I am asked, I just say I don't eat crap, thank you. People can give me odd looks, I don't give a crap. The freedom is to not fall for group pressure, especially that YOU KNOW that this junk is absolute crap. You are excused if you don't, but you DO know.
For celebrations which I manage myself, I cook and bake everything. People enjoying my stuff NEVER complain and go back home feeling GREAT!
Isn't it crazy that we should celebrate with sick shit food ?? what kind of tradition is that ?? "Oh, you're turning 40! Let's binge on toxins!! Yeah, great idea!"
Your marriage is more important than your diet, if only for one day. Have a slice of cake, it's not going to make you gain a pound in fat unless you eat half of it. The temporary weight gain will be water weight, remember that.
And no, it doesn't count as a refeed unless you've been VLC.
Eat the cake, if you want to. One day shouldn't derail anything. Go back to primal the next day. Remember it's okay to do 80/20 - make the party your 20%. If you're hosting the party add some primal foods. I eat cake at my grandchildren's birthdays. It doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Since you're just starting out I wanted to point out that a refeed should not be used as an excuse to eat whatever crap you want. Refeeds are about replenishing carbs and it makes the most sense to do it as healthfully as possible (tubers, maybe some white rice, etc.) and only if you've been very low carb.
That being said, if you want the cake, eat the cake! It's not a huge deal and it doesn't mean that you're failing at being primal. As Robb Wolf has said, this is not a religion. You aren't going to hell for making a choice to eat some junk. Enjoy it, move on, and don't sweat it. I also wouldn't weigh yourself for a couple days. You'll likely gain some temporary water weight and there's no sense in obsessing about a blip on the scale.
I think it depends on how your individual mind works. If you're the type of person who falls into the trap of thinking that because you went off plan/diet for one meal, you might as well make a day/weekend of it, then it might derail you for a bit. If you're the type of person who figures one off-plan meal is no big deal and you get right back on the horse (or beef as the case may be), then go for it. :)
Gosh, thank you for all the responses and advice! I have a lot to learn still. :o I am going to make sure I fill up on dinner, then maybe have a bite or two. I'm sure I won't want the whole cake, but I put a lot of time and effort in, so I want to taste it! I did not know that there were ways to make cakes primal or paleo! I will be looking into that today, as our anniversary is next month. Thanks also for the info on refeeds. I'm not VLC so I guess I don't need to do that at all?
Before primal I was fit, but "cheated" every Saturday. I already don't feel like I need or want to do that anymore, so I will enjoy the cake and move on. I REALLY appreciate the encouragement. You guys are awesome!
Should only set you back a couple days at most, maybe not at all. It is a very slippery slope though..
No, you shouldn't have to refeed if you're eating 50-100g of carbs per day, unless you're doing a lot of exercise strenuous enough to deplete your glycogen stores. Most exercise, including weight training, isn't enough to necessitate refeeding.
To give you an example, I eat around 75g of carbs or so per day from fruit and tubers. I weight train 3x/week, do one strenuous metcon once a week and other light activity throughout. I usually feel great at my carb level. Every once in a great while I'll feel really drained after my metcon and will eat an extra banana or a sweet potato. Not enough to be considered a true "refeed" but it gives me plenty of a boost to feel better.
Enjoy the party!
For me, the best thing to do would be to pass on the cake and other nonprimal foods. Indulgences can quickly get out of hand and you're back where you started from. Over the past 16 months, I have sorted out a lot of minor health issues and gotten my weight to where I want it for the first time in my adult life. And I did it by being very strict about no cheats. That said, the lure of sugar and wheat is almost nonexistent now, so I don't credit myself with willpower. I just stay focused.