[QUOTE=zoebird;1304015]It's cool to see you pick this back up, WD.
I agree with the article.
Personally, I think the biggest problem with gifted education and construct is that gifted people don't get mainstreamed. Mainstreaming -- a process that happens often with variously abled students -- brings about a cohesive sense among classrooms (and later in life) that everyone has some kind of talent and value, and that you can be friends with anyone.
I was raised mainstreamed; my husband was raised gifted. The suffering that being raised gifted brought him was hard-core. I can't explain all of it, but the angst that you describe here is basically it (not to mention a lot of anxiety about not living up to his potential/etc). I don't really have those hang ups -- about others or myself.
Basically, I like a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. I have friends at all intelligence levels and from all kinds of walks of life. Each one brings joy and richness to my life, and I enjoy their company. A lot of them do a LOT of things way better than I ever could, and what I do -- perhaps I do it better than they do. But at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. What matters is that we enjoy each other.
There are people out there in the world who are smarter than you. There are people who are more determined. There are people who are more successful. And there always will be. And, there are people who are not as smart, not as determined, and not as successful. But *all* of these people are really valuable, awesome people. You can enjoy them in a variety of ways -- including in a romantic, non-"fuck buddy" way.
All you have to do is get over yourself. That's really it. You get over the idea that the person you are with has to be "X." Consider other valuable attributes to you.
I say this because I have a friend. She's very special. She is totally unique. And, she also has a very specialized diet (for health reasons). The reason she has trouble meeting people is not because people aren't good enough, it's becuase *she believes* that people A. won't accept and/or understand her uniqueness, and B. won't accept and/or accommodate her unique dietary needs.
You might notice that the "dark side" of your rant is not that you are intelligent, but that you think your intelligence inhibits your ability to relate AND that it inhibits other people's ability to relate to you. Likewise, you might think that your diet won't be accepted or accommodated, rather than noting that most people really, truly don't care when it comes down to it, and it needn't inhibit you.
So basically, in order to "loosen up" -- you need to explore the "shadow sides" of these attributes that you prize and how those become excuses as to why you can't achieve what you want to achieve.[/QUOTE]
I don't see it that way at all. I was as "mainstreamed" as anybody. I spent time in group homes, foster homes, and mostly grew up around rednecks. My elementary school had some semblance of a GATE program, but it essentially became "come to school an hour early and play on the computer". I also played sports basically every semester from 5th grade until 12th, and I became an Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts. My dad was cold asshole of an alcoholic. I grew up without a mom, without family. I've worked various 'dirty' jobs since the age of 16 (contrary to Mr. Perfidy's assumptions in another thread), and I have moved out and been self-sufficient since the age of 19. I was so mainstreamed that I was a shell of myself when I graduated high school, and it's taken me some time since then to unravel like a folded-up flag.
The bottom line for me is that I was closed off emotionally. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I think everyone would see the world as grey if they did that. I'm also thinking that I was just meeting some true bitches because I've met a whole different kind of lady here in the South.
The point about intelligence still stands, but it doesn't lurk like a shadow in a dark alley.
Actually, everything still stands that I said. I should have known that no one here would appreciate a cocky comparison to society. Actually, I probably did, but I didn't really care, and I still don't.
I'm cocky as hell, but people (girls) like me. There's a difference between "fun cocky" and "d-bag cocky". It's a fine line; some people can't do it.
Sent via F-22 Raptor
[QUOTE=AMonkey;1304903]What the fuck is up with OP. Reminds me of one of those fat atheists you see on OKCupid who decide they are incredibly smart and precious because they don't believe in god/gods.[/QUOTE]
Atheist. Not fat.
[QUOTE=FrenchFry;1305108]Funny to see how a big egoic display fires up people, it never fails :)[/QUOTE]
LOL. I'm on a bad computer right now, but I think this has gotten like 60 replies in the past two days.
It reminds me of how the sheepish public hates it any time an athlete shows some cockiness. Personally, I could care less.
[QUOTE=moluv;1305149]I know I'm opening myself up for a personal attack by mentioning this Wilton, but reading this makes your PM's make a hulluva lot more sense. I will agree that disparities in intelligence make dating and mating difficult for you. But it's not just that you are more intelligent than everyone around you. Intellectually speaking, that may be true. But the real crux of your problem is that you lack emotional intelligence, and that's where you strike out relationally. [/QUOTE]
I think you should look yourself in the mirror before making a claim like that.
[QUOTE=TheyCallMeLazarus;1305220]I agree with you there. Most people who just LOVE to argue about politics are fake-intellectual charlatans that know only their own taste of kool-aid....I only talk politics with people who do it with seriousness, not sport.
I actually relate to the OP on this a little...will write a larger reply later. Gotta get back to work :([/QUOTE]
Let's hear it, brotha.
[QUOTE=wiltondeportes;1306304]It reminds me of how the sheepish public hates it any time an athlete shows some cockiness. Personally, I could care less.[/quote]
it's not your cockiness that bugged people, it's your twerpiness
[quote][b]Let's here[/b] it, brotha.[/QUOTE]
sigh.. quit giving people ammo
[QUOTE=bloodorchid;1306318]it's not your cockiness that bugged people, it's your twerpiness
What's being called a twerp by a twerp?
You're just wrong brah. I know some very very intelligent guys (one who won the nationwide science fair for mathematically calculating how much energy is contained in the worlds' oceans and won a full ride to caltech; tons of peeps with perfect score SAT's; tons of peeps from the "fancy schools" like Harvard and Columbia grad schools) in every field and none of them have experienced rejection from girls based on their intelligence.
Yes, no evidence of your described phenomenon does not make for evidence of the phenomenon being false... But maybe, just maybe, you should blame yourself first before blaming others.
Girls like intelligence. They don't like someone who cannot talk about anything else aside from how smart he is or how awesome his field of learning is. I don't talk about antibody engineering on a date. Maybe you should briefly mention what you do, move on and ask the girl what SHE likes, what she is thinking about, etc. No girl (or guy) ever came home from a date complaining "all he wanted to do was to talk more about me and to get to know me!". So, go fetch.
[QUOTE=wiltondeportes;1306332]What's being called a twerp by a twerp?[/QUOTE]
You are just proving everyone right at this point that you are likely a douche. Maybe take some advice or don't... Did you just want to complain or did you actually want to improve your situation?
Seriously, Wilt, check out the exchange turquoisepassion and I had up there. Fun, light, easy. And we're both pretty smart folks. And now there's a hot Asian girl who will totally make out with me on her next Colorado hiking trip, or when we run into each other in Austin. Learn, buddy!
Sent via F-22 Raptor
[QUOTE=Mr. Anthony;1306341]Seriously, Wilt, check out the exchange turquoisepassion and I had up there. Fun, light, easy. And we're both pretty smart folks. And now there's a hot Asian girl who will totally make out with me on her next Colorado hiking trip, or when we run into each other in Austin. Learn, buddy!
Sent via F-22 Raptor[/QUOTE]
I'm fine, bro.
[QUOTE=turquoisepassion;1306338]You are just proving everyone right at this point that you are likely a douche. Maybe take some advice or don't... Did you just want to complain or did you actually want to improve your situation?[/QUOTE]
When you gave advice, did you just want to hear yourself talk, or were you actually trying to help?