I swear what Molly looks like is pretty close to what I look like. Sorta soft, maybe a little heavier than what you'd have to be to sport "abs" and be "enviable". But damn, I swear to you, if you have not tried it, basing your love of your own body on what it can DO vs. what it WEIGHS is so awesome. I go in there to do my lifting and if I go in scared to death and ready to fail and then I succeed I actually will say "Hell YEAH!" or something out loud. I don't care who is listening. Then I'll go and brag on my journal. Oh yeah, yet another PR. I benched 75lbs today. How many women can do that?? My success will give me a spring in my step all day while I'm eating enormous chicken breasts and steaks with real potatoes and not caring one bit if it's lady-like to eat such a big portion.
Having a real measure of success feels great and having a body that can do stuff is liberating in a way that just being a feminist doesn't quite do (sorry, I'm old enough that the word feminist has a good connotation). Real physical change -> real inner transformation.[/QUOTE]
I totally hear you. I didn't mean to sound judgmental of Molly either, it's just not the look I'm hoping to achieve is all. I started lifting a few years ago and that has help quite a bit with feeling good about myself for something that has to do with my body yet is not about fat. I do feel physically uncomfortable with extra fat, especially in my stomach area. I can still remember so well what it felt like at my lowest weight. I don't remember what I looked like or how I felt about that, what I do remember is how amazingly light I felt and comfy cuddling up in a ball with myself. It was like I was able to feel closer to my own body (I'm into yoga) and that had a very self nurturing feeling to it. It also made me feel very energetic and gave me a feeling of having fun just being in my body. Right now I feel heavy and burdened and my stomach gets in the way of bending and hugging myself. That probably all sounds rather silly! I also have a hubby that thinks I'm fine just the way I am, no pressure there. This is way more about how I feel in my body than what my body looks like in the mirror. This particular experiment also has a lot to do with wanting to end my obsession with food/dieting and come to a nice normal way of healthy eating and thinking about food.
[QUOTE=sbhikes;1112850]How many women can do that?? My success will give me a spring in my step all day while I'm eating enormous chicken breasts and steaks with real potatoes and not caring one bit if it's lady-like to eat such a big portion.[/QUOTE]
You're doing fantastic! My She-ro! :)
Back to that Molly site, I enjoyed snooping around last night. In another place she said:
[QUOTE][COLOR=#000000][FONT=arial]Yes, that’s right. I said it. In my experience, [/FONT][/COLOR][I]most[/I][COLOR=#000000][FONT=arial] women who struggle to lose body fat don’t eat enough total calories, and especially not enough protein and fat. For some reason, popular media has brainwashedwomen into thinking that we can only eat 1200-1400 calories a day if we want to be lean. BULLSH*T! Especially if we’re active or carry a sexy amount of muscle mass.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
I tried all my life to eat 1200 calories a day and I think that all it did was make me weak, sad, and easy to take advantage of.
I was very thin before I had children, eating whatever I wanted (not always good things). Once I had my kids, I couldn't do that anymore, resorting to low cal eating to lose the weight. In retrospect, I did that because I was impatient, wanted the quick fix, and in the process, screwed up my metabolism. It has taken me years to realize how damaging eating that way is. Plus, I was starving and tired all the time! Now, I eat a lot, and it's a little scary because those tapes in my head start playing, telling me I'm going to get fatter, and not lose the weight. The scale has gone up a bit, but my measurements are the same. And I have energy for life, for my workouts! It IS a slower process, but a sustainable one. Reading all of your experiences here, and the ones that are shared from blogs on the internet give me hope. Hope that I can eat food, real food, food with fat in it, and not chemicals to make it "low fat". I wish it didn't take me so long to learn this lesson. But it is one that I am hoping to pass on to my daughter. To love her body, to eat the food, good wholesome food, and a good amount of it. To be active, lift heavy things, ride her scooter and longboard around the campus, live an energized life!
[QUOTE=14emom;1113126] Now, I eat a lot, and it's a little scary because those tapes in my head start playing, telling me I'm going to get fatter, and not lose the weight. The scale has gone up a bit, but my measurements are the same. And I have energy for life, for my workouts! [/QUOTE]
Oh I know. I keep thinking I am evening out now on the scale. I know that isn't a good measurement but I have enough to lose yet that it should still be a fairly decent gauge.
I saw a friend the other day, and I just saw one in town walla go, and both were like, so how much more weight have you lost?! (I saw them both around Christmas and one about a month ago) Well..... none. The one today, was like let me hug you while there is still something left to hug! So I know positive things are still happening even though the scale went up.
I am going to get a bit stricter next week with my workouts. More focused, more scheduled. And time my carbs better. Still not going to trip on the calories (or scale)
[QUOTE=sbhikes;1113118]I tried all my life to eat 1200 calories a day and I think that all it did was make me weak, sad, and easy to take advantage of.[/QUOTE]
Think there is quite a few of us that have tried that (especially women) (I've tried this as well for about 4 years) Low carb/[B]NO FAT[/B] at all!! That really messed up my metabolism/thyroid function. Now I feel so much better/energized having my GUILT FREE meals without calorie counting :-)
[QUOTE=14emom;1113126] Hope that I can eat food, real food, food with fat in it, and not chemicals to make it "low fat". I wish it didn't take me so long to learn this lesson. But it is one that I am hoping to pass on to my daughter. To love her body, to eat the food, good wholesome food, and a good amount of it. To be active, lift heavy things, ride her scooter and longboard around the campus, live an energized life![/QUOTE]
I want this for my girls too. They are VERY skinny and I have tried to get them to eat more and find things that are calorie dense but yummy to entice them to eat more. After reading the link below (he proved calories don't make you gain by upping to 6,000 for a year and he lost weight) makes me think I'm making it worse! I would never give them unhealthy food in hopes of weight gain, but I do hope that as they get a bit older (7 & 9) the meat will start packing on. I don't want them to ever have to worry about their health or body composition but I do worry about them myself. They are both almost half the size of the next thinnest kid I have seen in real life, even among the kids from the homeschool group where everyone is feeding really healthy foods to their kids.
[url=http://www.billycraig.co.uk/1/post/2012/09/the-no-diet-diet-eating-yourself-slim-healthy.html]The No Diet Diet - Eating Yourself Slim & Healthy - #whatwouldBillysay?[/url]
Thank you for sharing Windy Pass Wheeler x
Two more good pages on that site:
[url=http://www.billycraig.co.uk/1/category/eating%20disorder/1.html]Category: 1 - #whatwouldBillysay?[/url]
[url=http://www.billycraig.co.uk/1/post/2011/06/does-cutting-your-calories-down-work.html]Does cutting your calories down work? - #whatwouldBillysay?[/url]
I'm this way and I've always found it frustrating. I'm 18, am 5'9 and weigh only 120 pounds even though I eat just as much as anyone else. Obviously if I give it another 20 years I'll be saying this opposite but at the moment it's seriously bugging the heck out of me...