You call that a salad?!

Just felt like sharing my annoyance. I know we all have situations like this.

...........

I pulled my lunch from the fridge in the breakroom. Aaaah, good food. Happy.

I took off the lid and smiled down at my beautiful salad (maybe I love food a little TOO much).
I should have taken a picture.

A bed of romaine and spinach, covered with chicken, bacon, egg, peppers, sunflower seeds, tomatoes, avacado, and my 'homemade healthy ranch'...with fork in hand, I was almost blissful. Blissful at work...now that's impressive.

...and then...

"You call that a salad? Look at all that fat! OMG, you have more toppings than lettuce!"

Blah.

When I do eventually snap, I want it to be good. I usually just say, "Yep, mmmm fat!" or "I love a salad with a personality," or something lame like that.

Possible one-liners I like (just for fun, I picture myself dropping a mic after saying these)
- Why don't you get back to shoving those 100 calorie packs down your gullet?
- I'm sorry, what was your weight again?
- And how IS that Weight Watchers plan going for you?
- ???

Note: I will never, ever use these. But it's fun to daydream about the reaction I would get. :)

OMG. Use those one-liners. Please.

Also I think you should do the Sarah Palin-esque "How's that weighty watchy thing workin' out for ya?"

Tell them to look up a fucking cobb salad, one of the best types of salad out there (tomato, crisp bacon, roasted chicken breast, hard-boiled egg, avocado, chives, Roquefort cheese).

How about this: "Well, lettuce is basically nutritionally useless, so I load my salads up with nutritional and delicious ingredients - they're not 'toppings'"

Perhaps, "How about you get your lunch out and I'll criticize it for you?" That should shut them up.

Was it someone who's clearly in worse shape than you? Because a simple "Thanks for the nutritional advice" would shut such a person up and really is just a polite thing to say in general.

I had to take out a vegetarian for lunch. Just now. She thought it would be a great idea to split the dishes. Yeah. She ordered like a tofu platter. I ordered a pickles platter. I was tossing that tofu around my plate with my chopsticks for the whole hour pretending I am eating it. Pickles were at least pretty cool and spicy, but why did they have to dump oil on it and sugar. I was trying not to worry about what oil it was and sort of let it drip... Sigh. I bet it was supposed to be a very healthy meal in a traditional standard. Save for oil, funnily, lol.

[QUOTE=RichMahogany;1107129]Was it someone who's clearly in worse shape than you? Because a simple "Thanks for the nutritional advice" would shut such a person up and really is just a polite thing to say in general.[/QUOTE]

OOOOH, most definitely they are all in somewhat rough shape. They like to wile away the lunch hour discussing how 'they just don't know whyyyy they're not losing weight' and I think that I get myself into trouble when I am constantly trying to change the subject to anything else. They know what I do, they know I feel great, but they're unhappy and not willing to change so they continue on and try to make me feel bad about myself. Nothing too mean-spirited or anything...just annoying.

Methinks I will return to watching shallow tv on my lunch break at my computer like I used to.

And I like the comment option, but I don't know if I could get it out without snark.

[QUOTE=unchatenfrance;1107112]OMG. Use those one-liners. Please.

Also I think you should do the Sarah Palin-esque "How's that weighty watchy thing workin' out for ya?"[/QUOTE]

Haha, I like that :)

...and I noticed your icon, do you tap?! Tap is my favorite!

[QUOTE=Leida;1107136]I had to take out a vegetarian for lunch. Just now. She thought it would be a great idea to split the dishes. Yeah. She ordered like a tofu platter. QUOTE]

Ugh, good work suffering through that. The texture of tofu seriously triggers my gag reflex.

[QUOTE=AyaPapaya;1107142]Haha, I like that :)

...and I noticed your icon, do you tap?! Tap is my favorite![/QUOTE]

Irish step :-D