MamaGrok, I have always been very shy about my body and in the past I used to buy one-piece swimsuits and try to cover my body even further with t-shirts and shorts, I was very self-conscious and thought everyone was looking at me. But then I noticed everyone was just busy with their own stuff and virtually no one was looking too much my way :) And even if they did, there certainly were people who looked way worse than me, but they were not a bit embarrassed by their bodies. So I have gradually learned to just relax and try to enjoy my time at the beach and not worry too much what people might think about me. No one has ever laughed or pointed or commented, so I guess if anyone did, it would be a very rude sort of person and those are not worth bothering about :)
Bottomline, people are really not that interested in what others are doing or wearing at the beach, so just go ahead and wear whatever feels comfortable :)
As for the above "body hair" discussion: I live in a country where many women, especially those under 40-50 years old, remove most or all body hair, this is sort of what is expected and I would really get very weird looks if I refused to follow suit... I have not gotten to the point of shaving or waxing my arms, which a lot of women here do, but I do try to remove all other body hair. And I do find it boring and time-consuming, but I cannot imagine wearing a skirt with hairy legs underneath... As for pubic hair, I do think everyone should be able to do as they please, but this is not the reality here - women are almost expected to remove pubic hair too. I hate this way of thinking :( I think hair removal in the pubic area makes women look like little girls and Lolitas, but there you have it :(
Yes, they're mocking, even if not visibly. My whole family (of origin) does it; so do their friends.
Again - I don't want to swim laps in baggy knee length shorts. I have no problem with myself or others wearing "normal" bathing suits of any variant. (Do you see me in a burqa up in that avatar?) And I'm mostly talking about playing in and out of the water at the beach and pool, without taking coverups on and off repeatedly.
The only thing I want is CHOICE. No pressure for women to wear almost nothing just because it's expected. I personally have an overly high level of self-confidence and couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I'll wear what I want. But there are a LOT of girls and women out there who feel they *have* to show almost every inch of their legs, arms, and upper torso, or be called names behind their backs. They even join in the mocking, b/c they've bought into the idea that anything different from this norm is absurd.
I just think that kind of social pressure sucks.
I doubt change is far away, though (on bathing suits, not on shaving). There's a LOT more choice in hair (didn't know a single woman over 30 in the 80s who had hair longer than 2"), shoes (heels are no longer obligatory for more formal occasions), & clothes (many different styles of jeans are in, not just one dictated look) than there used to be. You can choose from so many things without even having to be a "rebel." I think that's great progress.
I L.O.V.E Athleta swim dresses, btw. CYOOOOT.
Seriously, we can back to our regularly scheduled facepalming thread now!
ETA Gravyboat, your attitude rocks. Sorry if I mentioned this in the other post; have you read anything by Dr. Dzugan on hormone fixing?
[QUOTE=Gravyboat;839964]Well I don't know if it's a tumor, but I do have extremely screwed-up hormones. I've got PCOS, hypothyroidism, AND severe adrenal fatigue. I've been treating myself with iodine, 2 different adaptogens, and adrenal cortex. The adrenal fatigue is getting a little better, I think, and my goiter is gone, but I still have dry skin, my hair still falls out in handfuls, etc. As far as the excessive body hair is concerned, that's permanent. Even if my hormones went back to normal female levels, the growth would slow but it would still all be there, which is a-ok with me.
I would be interested to know if I do have some sort of growth on one of my glands, because it's a distinct possibility, but I have no idea how I'd convince a doctor to look. Usually all they want to do is blood tests, then maybe they'll throw some pills at you if your results are bad enough. If not, good fucking luck. And especially with PCOS, the medical perspective is generally "Lose some weight, fatty." Which is really frustrating to hear when your hormones are messed up. Maybe when I've lost 100lbs, if I still have problems, they'll actually listen to me for once. (Not holding my breath on that one though)[/QUOTE]
I doubt whether excessive hair is permanent. Well, it is in the sense that everyone has fine hair all over them. But how think it is and how fast it grows [I]is[/I] hormonal. AFAIK it is a classic symptom of an endocrine problem to do with Androgen.
Looking in Wikipedia I saw these two:
I think you would need a CT/PET scan. If the radioactive sugar is metabolised to a hormone it should then show up on the scan. If you knew exactly what to ask for I think you could just demand one at a hospital and pay for it. I don't know what the one off cost is, but as it is not a medical intervention I don't think it would be too much.
I've been wearing men's swim trunks for years. No one has ever looked at me funny, and besides feeling more comfortable being covered up a bit, it's awesome to have the luxury of a velcro pocket to put my keys in.
Loved reading it.
Mama Grok- sounds like your family is kind of mean. I am on a lake every weekend with some bitchy mc bitcherstons and nobody makes those kind of comments- and trust me, its a bitch fest about everything else. If anything they comment on the teeny bikini gals out of cattiness. LOL, I'm not above calling people out for being crappy and if I was around your family I'd probably say something. That kind of shit should end upon highschool graduation.
At some point though you just need to feel good about yourself... if you don't you will feel insecure - its good that you are confident and if I were you I'd have a talk with your family about being nasty about others.
It sounds like its time for you to design a swimsuit that meets your needs - I bet there are more women like you that want more coverage on the legs but the ability to swim.
[QUOTE=MamaGrok;840347]The only thing I want is CHOICE. [/QUOTE]
You have a choice. This is America. There are not morality squads coming around arresting you if you are showing too much or promiscuity police fining you if you are not showing enough leg. If you (or others) choose to be cowed by societal pressure then you are a part of the problem. Sure, fighting the norms can be hard, it can be easier to give in, but you have to fight to change attitudes.
Also, I am confused about all these choices men have. I guess we have speedos and swim shorts....so two choices. Yeah, we can wear a shirt or not...so perhaps that is two more choices. Of course women can wear a thong, a bikini, a one-piece a tankini (whatever the hell that is), one of them bathing suits with skirts, shorts, a shirt, a skirt, etc. Who is stopping them? Only their own insecurities. And do you really think 300 pound dudes in speedos are not being talked about? Do you think the dude with full on back hair at the beach is not getting commented on? The guy with absolutely no muscle definition baring his blindingly white chest is not getting laughed at? I just think less guys care.
And, yes, we do get shit about body hair as well. Now being a hairy mountain man is cool. Mustaches back in the 70s were cool. Yet, when I was in high school or college body hair on dudes was a huge no-no. OMFG you don't shave your chest?! Uh, no. And guess what, now looking like a dude is back in. Nice. I am sure in 10 years all the 20 somethings will be waxing again. As Pratchett says what goes around comes around, that is why it is called a revolution.
Oh, and speaking of CW nonsense and body image, try being an uncircumsized male in America. Yeah, that is good times. Ever been told by your significant other to have part of your body you were born with removed because "well, it just looks weird!"
Eh, people. they suck :D
On a different note...this hormone thing...
My wife has more body hair than she would like - facial hair etc. It makes her self-conscious and it seems to be hormonal. Now, I often refer to my wife as a dude with boobs, because she is often more male in her thinking than female. She even comments on it. To quote her, "I think my hormones are messed up, but if they fix them will I start acting like a chick?" by which she means non-logical, overly emotional, etc. Not that all women act this way of course, but she as a woman seems to think acting that way is the norm for someone with 'normal' hormones who happens to be a woman. So, lets assume she or Gravyboat or whomever got their hormones straightened out, would their personalities/emotions/way of thinking change?
Let's talk assbeards.
Shave, or no?
LOL, I have a very feminine body, with very little hair. I have the whole dude mentality, so Canio, I think she will probably remain cool for ya! I think you are either an emotional woman or not... and it maybe has more to do with how you were raised than with hormones. In my family we didn't cry and we did things logically.
I think we should all just do what we want! Who cares if someone wants to be waxed clean or grow their pubes out or be a woman with a mustache. If you want to wear a robe to the beach go for it. Just treat your body with respect.
[QUOTE=magnolia1973;840487]LOL, I have a very feminine body, with very little hair. I have the whole dude mentality, so Canio, I think she will probably remain cool for ya! I think you are either an emotional woman or not... [/QUOTE]
So which is it? Do you think canio is an emotional woman or not?