Do you have an addiction? Video games, porn, television, internet?
Addictions lead to low dopamine and other neurotransmitters receptors which manifests in psychiatric disorders early in life... like ADHD, anxiety, bipolar, etc.. if the addiction continues.. neurons start to die off and you have parkinsons disease.
Vitamin A(beta-carotene/retinol/retinal/retinoic acid), VO2 max exercise and being intimate will express dopamine d2 and other neurotransmitter receptors.
Vitamin A - [url=http://www.pnas.org/content/94/26/14349.abstract]Regulation of dopaminergic pathways by retinoids: Activation of the D2 receptor promoter by members of the retinoic acid receptor[/url]
Obviously avoid the synthetic vitamin A supplements and try liver and/or leafy greens.
[URL="http://www.reuniting.info/node/7200"]Studies show exercise increases dopamine receptors [/URL]
Lack of minerals could cause your brain to crash. Leafy greens to balance the PH with the minerals.
Air pollution is something to look out for.
Hi sorry for what you're going through, and sorry for this short reply, I'm on my phone. Over at Dr Emily Deans evolutionary Psychiatry there are 2 case studies of bipolar women trialling a ketogenic diet for their moods. Seems migraines , epilepsy, bipolar, are similar, & can all be treated with anti seizure meds... but keto is more successful. For kids with epilepsy 80% can eventually go off the diet with no return of seizures (presumably only of those for whom the diet worked enough to stay on it)
Edit: More Info - I'm at the computer now - Paul Jaminet at PHD has info on how to do a healthy ketogenic diet. Someone reported at his blog that his wife's migraines did not return on a normal trigger heavy diet after 7 months on the ketogenic diet.
There was a group at Stanford Uni who tried to study this diet for Bipolar but they couldn't find volunteers, according to wikipedia.
This gnolls article has links to more keto info. [url]http://www.gnolls.org/1984/the-science-behind-the-low-carb-flu-and-how-to-regain-your-metabolic-flexibility/[/url]
Just in regards to discussing the darker times (suicidal thoughts), I've found that the more you talk about it, the less terrible it seems. For you, and for other people. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it probably occurs to more people than you would think. Even people who have only been through one sole dark period in their life will remember what that feels like. It helps to have allies in your struggle against yourself. Don't be afraid to speak up.
For what my 2 cents is worth I'd like to say that I think it's a healthy step for you to ask for help & support. This place is loaded with it. I'm also not a fan of medication so that would be a last resort for me personally. There's been some good advice thrown out here. Have any of you had any experience with a neurolink practitioner? I see mine regularly instead of a medical doctor. She is also a chiropractor but I mainly use her to keep everything firing in the right order. It's a very strange process & those I try to explain it to look at me like I'm crazy but it works. For those that also use her, they toatally understand. If nothing else, at least read up on it. It can't hurt. I haven't been here for a while & I myself was feeling I needed a moral boost today. I always feel better after reading at this forum. Thank you all for your sincere concern for others. Hang in there yogabare, you are never alone.