Cutting the Fat-Neanderthal style

So I can't deny that I have a horrible relationship with food. Horrible. On top of a horrible relationship with food I also have an even worse relationship with the scale. Two evils that need to be beaten with a little bit of ooga-booga and billy club tomfoolery. Will willpower prevail? Stay tuned!

I've struggled with various forms of eating disorders and in general self destruction, and while therapy has helped with a lot of the issues at hand the most prevalent is probably post traumatic stress disorder, and the main reason why I decided that I need to give this primal living a try.

I struggle with being able to sleep and when I do it's not long before the night terrors start sinking into my brain and rendering my subconscious into one gigantic lunatic that is rather frightening. I don't really know if proper eating can cure the demons that lurk within my subconscious, but at this point I'm willing to try it.

[b]Question:[/b] Can I embark upon primal living without having to succumb to the tortures of the scale, or will I be forced to obsess over the numbers on a scale?

Well here starts day one!

You can, I promise!
Check out other journals. There are many people who have finally escaped the scale.

Check out our eat moar fat thread. Its what helped me stop bingeing finally, other woman have had the same result.
And we are losing weight ;) Not a quick fix by any means, but this journey is slow, but so worth it.

Give your scale to a thrift shop. Or hide it somewhere so you are not tempted to use it. Go by how you are feeling and how your clothes fit. Forget about weight. Sleep terror is one thing that hasn't improved a lot in primal for me. It isn't terrible, but it's there.

[QUOTE=Ayla2010;1063020]You can, I promise!
Check out other journals. There are many people who have finally escaped the scale.

Check out our eat moar fat thread. Its what helped me stop bingeing finally, other woman have had the same result.
And we are losing weight ;) Not a quick fix by any means, but this journey is slow, but so worth it.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Ayla! I've just found over the years that scales are plain out not good for my mental sanity. I get obsessive, I beat my body into the ground, I get angry, etc. The problem though is that when in the past I have gone the route of deciding not to pay attention to the scale I tend to gain back a lot of the weight, but then again I also tend to eat all sorts of things that I shouldnt too. I'm happier when I'm not torturing myself with numbers on the scale, however not so happy when my clothes no longer fit. It's a rough battle.

[quote=Hedonist2]Or hide it somewhere so you are not tempted to use it. Go by how you are feeling and how your clothes fit. Forget about weight. Sleep terror is one thing that hasn't improved a lot in primal for me. It isn't terrible, but it's there.[/quote]

Aaah the problem with hiding the scale or getting rid of it is that the scale is the balance board to the wii fit :( and the pesky devil continuously taunts me for not weighing in and tells me that it has been a long time since it has seen me...grrr. She needs to stop enabling me *smirks*

Honestly, if I could 1: sleep more soundly and within a longer duration and 2: At least reduce the frequency of my night terrors and their side effects I'd be almost happy with it all. I think it all correlates to unhealthy mind=unhealthy body. So I'm going to need to explore this more as time progresses.

[b]Sleep[/b]

Okay so sleep last night was ridiculous, which may have been partially my own fault. I think that I ended up eating dinner last night too early, and my body decided it was time to eat. But it really wasnt the standard "Im hungry" or hunger pains, but more the dull ach of my stomach trying to eat itself...Maybe thats a good thing? I layed in bed thinking, analyzing the feeling in my stomach and decided that it wasn't anything hunger induced and decided that food was not necessary. Still I layed in bed a long time before I finally drifted back to sleep. One day I'll learn to sleep...

[b]Mood[/b]

I woke up this morning with crazy energy, almost manic like which might scare me a bit. That is yet to be decided. Stomach still has that weird feeling, but being that I dont believe that it is hunger, I ignored it and went out for a nice walk. Probably around a mile and a half or so. I got home and decided that it was time to cook something so that I had something readily accessible for the week, so I cooked up a big vat of stew. While that was cooking I decided to do some cleaning, just light house work kind of stuff, nothing major. After cooking and cleaning for a bit I finally decided to sit down and relax for awhile. The sitting down and relaxing lead to a somewhat nice bout of meditation, although I am horrible at meditation being that I tend to be horribly distracted. I only had to lead myself back a few times, which was nice. Normally I just get frustrated and move on to something else.

[b]Food[/b]

Eventually I finally ate, but I wasnt starving so obviously something worked out. Ate about a cup and a half of the stew and then put a fried egg on top of it. Is that strange? Maybe. But it tasted pretty fabulous. And easy too.

[b]Goals[/b]

Oh yes, I forgot to mention goals in my inital posting, so here it goes...

[LIST][*]Avoid, all sugar (or most), as well as caffeine, grains, and processed crap[*]Learn to cook new things[*]Avoid the scale (Neanderthal Betty, you do not need the scale!)[*]Learn to listen to my body[*]Learn to love my body[*]Develop a healthy Mind, Body, and Spirt[*]Develop a better sleeping schedule[*]Try to eliminate the sleep terrors, or find a way to not be bothered by them (Note to self: Post more about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and what led to the conflicting diagnois between hospital and therapist)[*]Write in this journal at least once a day, if not more often (Maybe it will help towards emotional eating and establish a pattern)[/LIST]

I'm sure that as time progresses that more goals will be added.

[b]Odd Points[/b]

1. I have this obnoxious pain on the top of my foot whenever I walk, its annoying. I think that it is because I run on the balls of my feet, but it could also be due to dry heels that have split open so I'm probably walking funky which causes my feet to over compensate?

2. Today I have noticed this odd desire to continuously brush my teeth, could this be something paleo related? Or am I just strange? I'm voting for strange.

:)
I didn't get on with my wii-fit for very long, too much nagging. Think I sold it after a month or so!
Noticing your own feelings certainly goes a long way to understanding triggers and things.

The pain in your foot - is it constant? I get a pain when the foot flexes (that bit in your stride where that foot is pushing off) - but only if my bootlaces are too tight/socks too big/something silly like that. Obvious question - how do your shoes fit?

If I was the only one that uses the Wii I could easily part without it, however being that other people use it I can't very easily pitch it as there would be mass hysteria and tears!

I think my shoes fit pretty well, they are a minimalist shoe through new balance and they were measured by the sales person. The only thing is that they are slightly worn out. The pain is only when I flex my foot upwards, never downwards. It has only been going on for a few days now, normally it doesn't bother me.

I have found that eating this way really helps control moods. Blood sugar is better regulated as are hormones. Hopefully this will also help with your sleep/night terrors. Magnesium Citrate and Melatonin taken at night may help with your sleep also.

[QUOTE=Mud Flinger;1064052]Hopefully this will also help with your sleep/night terrors. Magnesium Citrate and Melatonin taken at night may help with your sleep also.[/QUOTE]

I hope so too, what I wouldn't give to finally start sleeping at least 4 hours a night (or gasp! maybe even 8) I already know that Melatonin does very weird things to my subconscious, on top of that it provides me with a lot of confusion upon waking so I have no real desire to revisit Melatonin anytime soon. I think it is just one of those things that works for some people and doesn't for others. Thanks for the suggestion!

I'm not sure about the melatonin for me either. I have a friend who takes it for anxiety and she swears by it. It does multiple things in the body and if you have enough of it, then maybe more messes you up. Almost everyone is low on Mag though, and many people have found a calming effect from it.