Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Okay so Ive been trying to remind myself to write this post and I've finally decided to hunker down and do it.
2009 was a crazy year. I had finally ended things with the crazy, bitter, abusive boyfriend (it was one of those off and on kind of things where I'd leave, come back, etc. Unfortunately I was one of those women that thought that I could change a guy...bleh) The long and short of it was that one night I had woken up to him holding a gun against my head.
Anyways, shortly after living him I had went to the bar with some "friends" and probably drank way more than I should have. We apparently decided that we were going to stop and get some food, and this is where my night started to get very fuzzy. I was told that I started feeling sick and that I decided to stay in the car while my "friends" went and got something to eat. Well the long and sort of it was that I was found outside of the car having some sort of seizure like episode in the parking lot. Needless to say an ambulance was called, a fire truck, and police cars. Joyful.
So I'm hauled off to the hospital, they are unable to wake me up for something ridiculous like 14 hours, and I keep on having these seizure like episodes while I sleep and I continously grew more and more aggitated as I was comming out of it. The hospital ran tests and the best that they could tell me was that alcohol was not a cause but it probably triggered the seizure like episodes. They said I definitely don't have seizures its just that they are seizure like and that they should stop. Well the four and a half days that I was there the episodes continued, I was accused of being an alcoholic and that I was going through something called DT (I think thats what they called it, then the reverted back to the original diagnoises of seizure like episodes. Its always fun to be accused of being an alcoholic. Good times.
I get out of the hospital, the episodes are still happening every now and then, and I decided that its time that maybe I look into some therapy, and it was through a year and a half of therapy and many panic attacks, disassociation, and sleep episodes that it is revealed that I have post traumatic stress disorder. I guess that diagnoises at least makes sense. But still its a bitch to deal with, and I can't even begin to count the number of failed relationships because I'm scary...:(...lol