Feeling the worst iv'e ever felt in my life on primal.
So basically what the title says but here's some key points and backstory:
Iv'e spent most of my life sick and fat. I went on my first diet when I was 10 and began developing ednos around 12 (binge eating with restrictive tendencies). I have a long history of mental illness (depression, but my biggest issues are ocd and anxiety), as well as horrible sleep problems since I was a toddler. I tried every diet from technically paleo high meat and fat, to low-carb with some grain, to vegetarian, to weight watchers, and so on and so forth.
At around 14 I gave into my binge eating which got me up to my highest weight of 220 (at 5'2). My diet consisted mostly of fast food, candy, muffins, pizza smothered in ranch dressing, and frosting from a can. I had suprisingly few physcial health problems but this was the height of my anxiety issues as well leaving me pretty much a social recluse who wouldn't leave my house. The next year I had less access to food so I dropped about 20lbs without trying and by my 16th birthday I decided to get serious about weight loss (for vanity not health) and through various different diets I managed to get down to 148. This lasted a very short while and before I knew it I was back up to 185.
Around july of last year I decided to get serious about shit and get healthy for me and not for vanity. [B]I made a very serious decision to pursue medical treatment for an issue that I would prefer not to go into details of. [U]It's a medication that is literally life or death for me, cannot be cured in any way holistically, and I will be on it until the day I die.[/U][/B] Obviously this is going to put some strain on my body , especially my liver I assume, and I want to be as healthy as possible to offset this. The first thing I did was cut back on my portions, and by the end of last year I cut all artificial chemicals from my diet.
Around January this year I went vegan in an attempt to offset what had been a particularly bad month of binge eating. Veganism meant no dairy/meat/eggs so unless I made it to whole foods I was out of luck on vegan friendly binge foods. [B]It worked[/B]. I was in complete control of my cravings, my cystic acne cleared up, I lost 12lbs effortlessly, my headaches cleared up and the best part was no more anxiety. Not long after I started to get cravings for salmon and added fish back into my diet to get more omega-3's. The above benefits remained on an whole foods pescetarian diet. I added eggs back in about 5 months ago
[B]To give you an idea of what my diet looked like between ovo-pescetarinism and primal:
Fats: avocado, olive oil, coconut, small amount of nuts, wild cold water fish
protein: fish, eggs, nuts, legumes, grains (my main source of grain besides white rice was flax ezekiel bread and whole oats)
carbs: any kind of fruit, startch, vegetable, squash, etc + the above grains.
While I was eating these foods they made up only 5% or so of my diet: sugar, flour, vegetable oil, soy.
Eating the above diet i went from 185 to 130 in about a year and that's a 90lb weight loss from my highest weight. My blood panel looked [U]amazing[/U]. [/B]
However I was unsatisfied with how hard it's been for me to put on muscle as well as the fact that my sleep patterns were especially disrupted (over sleeping, sometimes 16 hours a night). So after occasionally browsing paleo blogs for the last 6 months or so I decided to give it a shot. About 3 months I started paleo [B](keep in mind I had done low carb primal with very very poor results infact I was sicker and fatter then than I am now)[/B] Which brings us to where we are now. I feel the worst iv'e ever felt. I do NOT eat low-carb and generally eat between 90-160 carbs a day all from paleo approved sources. I do not drink alcohol/coffee or smoke. I get sunlight and regular exercise. I do not consume dairy due to lactose intolerance. Iv'e replaced all of my grains and legumes with 100% grass fed, pasture raised, or at the very least organic animal meat. I drink homemade bone broth from organic animal bones, and have even dabbled in organ meats. Yes I eat enough fat. I am well hydrated.
Pro: I have lost 9 inches off my body which is great and currently weight 122 lbs. [B]100 lbs down, whoo![/B]
Cons: I am still just as tired and it has not fixed my sleeping patterns, constant headaches, less shiny hair and weaker nails, I have horrible bags under my eyes that iv'e never had in my life, irritated gums, chills despite hot weather and no sickness, horrible breath, horrible painful gas, Irregular bowel movements in which i'm either constantly constipated or have awful diarrhea, occasional cystic acne, less even skin tone, worse recovery time after workout.
My ocd is worse, anxiety is back full swing, which is leading to depression. I'm having a harder time controlling my eating disorder (binging results in shame which leads to restricting which leads to depression and back to binging). I feel on the verge of tears all the time for no reason.
On top of this I feel nauseous every time I eat. I HATE bacon, and sausage, and lamb, and veal, most white meat
,and usually eggs. Im sick to death of fish and I can't stomach any more red meat. I enjoy meat daily in moderation but by my 5th rib-eye steak in a few weeks and i'm practically choking back tears trying to force myself to eat. I do not enjoy food anymore.
I guess the reason i'm posting here is because I don't know what to do. Right now i'm clearly not healthy emotionally or physically but my desire to stay healthy over rides everything else. I'm strict paleo, the diet for optimal nutrion, and yet I have 100% of the ailments iv'e had since I was born with about 30 extra ones tacked on.
[B][U]Why is this not working[/U] and what advice can you give me in working towards fixing myself?[/B] I'm all ears to any advice you can offer.