I never really had the guys chasing after me, mostly because my mouth and temper were well known in HS and in college I did my damnedest to stay a nobody. I can honestly say that of the boys and men I dated, including my husband, only one asked me out. (To wit, the one that asked me out was Asshole.) I did the asking on all the rest.
I think I'm setting my goal as 120. I think 115 was just too low. I'll get to a steady 120+/- 2 lb and go from there. Only 5.8 lb to go.
[QUOTE=naiadknight;1086086]I never really had the guys chasing after me, mostly because my mouth and temper were well known in HS and in college I did my damnedest to stay a nobody. I can honestly say that of the boys and men I dated, including my husband, only one asked me out. (To wit, the one that asked me out was Asshole.) I did the asking on all the rest.
After 11, most males stayed away from me through age 17. I never asked a male out and if I had to now, I doubt I would. I know everyone says you should ask someone of the opposite sex out at least once in your lifetime, but I couldn't. Tristan told me about one of her friends asking a boy to the Valentine's Dance next week and this boy shot her friend down so badly, she ran out of the room in tears. Poor kid.
I'm hungry. I know what's for dinner (meat and fat), but I know what I'm craving (bread and sugar.) Maybe it means my body is finally getting around to being forced to used that fat I've got socked back and isn't horribly happy about it. Maybe it also means I'm under stress (more likely.)
Took a 2 hr nap after work.
Time to make shrimp scampi.
Dinner ended up being deconstructed bacon wrapped shrimp (2 strips of bacon, 8 oz shrimp, cooked in the same pan with butter and served with a side of extra sharp cheddar.)
I'm not sure what the effect will be, but I finally posted my diagnosis on facebook to let my friends and family know. I was hesitant, because so many of them are CW and fully ingrained. We'll see what happens.
I hate my brain some days. I finally get to bed early enough for decent sleep and have a freaking zombie dream at 230AM.
I'll be honest: today sucked balls. Totally hardcore, not even a gay porno could compare with how much this day sucked.
Woke up at 230 with a nightmare. Couldn't fall back asleep until I was on my inlaws' couch at 350. Woke up at 630 and drove back to my place to get ready for work. Had BP black tea (leftover leaves) for breakfast. Worked my ass off trying to get something out the door that was late when it landed on my desk. Went to work on another project only to find out we're missing information. Got handed another project by the office hipster prick (more on him in a minute) that needed to be turned around by tomorrow. I run into a wall 4 hours later and go tell him that the deadline he wants isn't going to happen only to find out the deadline wasn't there anymore and he neglected to tell me. Geek's flight got pushed back by useless Oklahoma morons that can't wipe their fucking ass without him, so he's stuck in Dallas tonight, so I'm alone for yet another goddammed, motherfucking night. He was supposed to be home yesterday afternoon.
I've been stressed to high hell all fucking day. I want to fall face first into a chocolate pecan pie and not crawl out until tomorrow. I want to cry, but I can't even cry when I'm alone right now and it wouldn't solve anything anyways. I hate stress, more now than ever. I've gotten a taste of a relatively stress free (stress free for a firm engineer) work environment and I don't want to go back to high deadline- high pressure-nownowNOW. I'm trying to heal, not make things worse.
I'm also borrowing trouble with something and I know I need to give it back. Geek does not particularly enjoy his job. There's no challenge and too much travel to deal with idiot people. The jobs he would enjoy are not in this area and neither of us wants to live in the cities such jobs are located in. It bugs me that I've finally found a job I love and that loves me and he's stuck in purgatory.
He also mentioned thinking he might have blood sugar issues. He may be warming up to primal yet. (The ONLY silver lining to the past 24 hours.)
I'm thinking that's what the zombie nightmares mean: too much stress piling on. I could also be full of shit.
I need more friends around here. Y'all are great, don't get me wrong, but I need more local friends.
Completely understand the local friends issue. For me and Hulky, we realized we had a bunch, we just weren't hanging with them that much. We're making it a point to have impromptu gatherings more often or have one or two over for dinner and it's been lovely. I feel closer to them than ever, and I lived with these people in college! Maybe there are more friends around you than you think? Maybe it's time to reach out to a co-worker and make some plans?
I've never been great at making friends. I think it was only in high school that I had more than a few nearby. I tend to scare off the locals. Not intentionally, but a person like me generally isn't well accepted. I'm libertarian, they're republican. I abhor country, that's all they listen to. I'm not religious, "God is [their] life." I'm not a round peg for the round hole.
In my more depressive moments, I do wonder what it'd be like to have more friends, to be closer to "Normal." I wonder how much of myself I'd hafta swallow to get close. Reality always kicks in, but I still fantasize about not being the odd one out, especially when Geek's not in town.
Well, I cried.
And ate andouille and mashed fauxtatoes for dinner.
And listened to jazzy/ classicalesque rock. (Think Adele and Daniel Powter, followeed by P!nk.)
And I feel better.
Sorry your day sucked so hard :( Feeling better is good. I hope it continues.