Thanks freedomplease and sarasue--thank you so much.
Freedom.please I am such a people pleaser, always have been. Doesn't make this any easier haha. Thanks for your words of encouragement!!
Sarasue I will absolutely look into those will lower threads. I have lots to learn.
Hello again! I guess I have not mentioned that I am currently on a rotation at another hospital and not living at home. So that has been interesting when it comes to eating and exercise. I have a limitied kitchen at the provided housing and I was able to cook eggs and bacon today. As well as eat avocadoes. I do not feel comfortable running around here after dark, unfortunately. When I am at home this is no problem, soooo today I got a month membership at a local gym. Went there and ran for 20 minutes, stretched, did planks, and lifted upper body. Felt great!! But looked so freaking soft in the mirror. Was motivated though.
My mind has been racing lately. I have so many changes coming up in my life in the next few months. Being done with school(!!!!), starting residency, getting married, moving, actually getting paid to be a doctor, more responsibility in general. I am SUPER excited about all of those things. But also pretty terrified. I never thought I would be getting married this young. Granted, I will only be 26, but getting married and even dating was NEVER on my radar. So I still need to wrap my little head around that one. The fiance loves weddings and we are having a healthy sized wedding. I am a little freaked out about that since I am pretty shy and introverted. Don't get me wrong, it will be a total blast, but I am still nervous about it. Again, the people pleaser in me just wants everyone to have a hell of a time and I am nervous that they won't. So all of these changes are making me both excited and anxious at the same time, ahhhhhh.
I am also anxious about these changes to my eating habits, especially given my effed up history with food. The biggest thing I am worried about is how my mom will react. It was SO hard on her when I was going through the anorexia in high school. SO SO hard. And as hard as that was, that's as nice as it is now that I have had a less restrictive approach to eating. So I am worried about her being really upset that I am making all of these changes. But, of course, I have to do what is best for me. It is a work in progress for me for sure. My relationship with her is pretty awesome for the most part. We are probably TOO close, and she knows me so well it is sometimes scary haha.
Well, lots and lots of word vomit there. Just wanted to type that all out so I can read it and go from there. Need to continue to deal with the anxiety NOT by eating like crap, but by doing the grown up thing and taking care of myself. Onward and upward.
Eggs, bacon and avocado - what a great way to start your day.
All the best for your many exciting changes ahead.
Well I am back, I think I would be smart to be more consistent.
Still stressed out about school and upcoming life changes. Have been on a terrible eating bender since Christmas Eve unfortunately. Went home and haven't been able to bounce back. Paying for it!
Prior to going home for Christmas I had 2 great weeks and felt so good. Ate really well, was cooking a lot, and hardly spending money on food. Loved it. Eating this way just takes the guesswork out of eating. And with my history with food and such, that is so nice. Lost about 12 pounds of water weight during that time, which was of course an added bonus.
Haven't seen my fiance yet for Christmas, but will be seeing him this weekend. And my gift is a crock pot. I am so excited! I want to try all sorts of tasty foods.
Going forward I am going to try and track macronutrients and calories. I want to try and keep carbs around 50 grams or less. So cliche but with the start of the new year I want a new me!
Today is a new day and I feel motivated to start eating well again. Did not have breakfast as my stomach feels gross
from eating junk. Hopefully today will be a shortish day at work. Then going home for about a week, a week in which I plan on cooking a lot and eating really well. Didn't weigh myself today. Was 153.1 yesterday, up from 144.5 on 12/23. Shame on me :-( but a fresh start is all I need.