Polyamoruous Love Sickness: Can This Be Primal?
This is my first post and it will be rambling. I'm pretty sure I'm just venting to myself, but I also have some hope that I'm not alone.
Some background: Iím 44 and very happily married. Our marriage is no utopia, to be sure, but the companionship, conversation, sexÖeverythingÖis still supremely satisfying and still improving. Iíve also been Primal/Paleo-ish for 4 years and have the physique to match, so I get plenty of attention from women, often staggeringly attractive younger women. This makes it surprisingly easy to resist temptation because I just donít feel I need that kind of validation. So, my intention is not to be boastful, but to make it clear that Iím not a typical candidate for midlife infidelity.
For 24 years I have been unflinchingly loyal to my wife and have no intention of ever compromising that. But something has changed.
Somehow, there isÖAnother Woman. A woman who I love as deeply and in the same way as my wife. I donít love her ďas a friendĒ, although she is a dear one. I donít merely lust after her, though I could look at her face all day and, make no mistake, I think about it. All. The. Time. I canít sleep, or concentrate. I have a constant lump in my throat. Hell, my blood pressure, which is usually on the low side, is waayy up (itís almost ďnormal!Ē). I am in love with two women. I am in love with one of my wife's best friends. And I love my wife no less for it.
This is unbelievably uncomfortable in so many ways. Iím all kinds of depressed. But Iím wondering, if this is such a powerful feeling, is there an evolutionary reason for it, or am I just a perv? And, ladies, does this make me a bad man?