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Grok would have spent many hours remaking his fishing nets. I crochet, but I'm female. Fishing net crochet is much more manly.
Anyhow, find a project that is repetitive and mindless and results in a physical object at the end. Then do it and let your mind and body rest. Choose something easy for you and easy to control.
I really think the "hop on another woman" advice is really about proving to yourself that you are still in control. Should probably not use another person to prove this to yourself... stick to fishing nets.
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[QUOTE=TheFastCat;971298]A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.
My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.
How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery :([/QUOTE]
That happens to nearly everyone somewhere along the journey. Looking back when that happened to me, I laugh now at how sad and forlorn I was. I laid on the ground for hours the day after I was dumped and wanted to just die. (seriously, how silly is that?)
Yes it sucks to love someone who does not share the feelings mutually or at your level. It taught me to respect who I am, I love me.
I vowed I would never allow myself to feel the that level of pain again because I value me. I continued with the females through my life, not with bitterness but of a sort of evaluation of the total person and how much I was willing to connect. Eventually I found the right person who was worthy of my life, she is a gem. Took a while though...but life is an adventure. It's ok to be single, go find out who YOU are and what YOU want. Somewhere in your journey, life will present you with someone who is supportive and will compliment you as well as you to her. Realize you are ok by yourself for now. Pick yourself up, knock off the dust and know you are a worthwhile person. What you seek is out there, go find it.
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...What does not kill us, makes us stronger...Time will heal. :)
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[QUOTE=TheFastCat;971298]A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.
My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.
How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery :([/QUOTE]...Hang in there...are we learning anything?
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take life one day at a time, it's all you can do
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You don't have to feel the way you are feeling. All the love you felt for her you can feel for you. It sounds crazy, I know, but it's very sweet.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOLz8u7Utg0]Byron Katie - I need a boyfriend - YouTube[/url]
My prescription for you FTC is to obsessively watch all Byron Katie videos until you understand what she's saying. Also, she has a book called "I Need Your Love: Is that True?"
Hang in there, it will get better. Really!
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chamomile tea helps.
honestly, it's great and decreasing stress/stimuli which this grieving process has a ton of. When I lost my rabbit (i know it's not a comparison but it is grief), i pretty much just drank chamomile tea for days on end. It really did help.
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[video=youtube;p32OC97aNqc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p32OC97aNqc&list=FL_jTv5g2Ddy87t6oQ3Msc5Q&index=14&feature=plpp_video[/video]
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I am having trouble with admonishing those who are suggesting that he sleep with girlfriends, sisters etc of his ex-girlfriend.
Suggesting that he not do that because it will hurt other people...kind of... makes me think that he would be overpowering/co-ercing these other women. Making them do something they don't want to do.
So, if he sleeps with other women, who might be close to the ex, I think we should assume that they also want to have sex with him. So as others have therefore pointed out he has no obligation to the one who broke up with him, so as long as his partner is willing he should be able to have sex with any adult person he wants.
Does that make sense? Sometimes I talk, and it doesn't come out right.
Although, I am not convinced that would help him feel better.
