[QUOTE=TheFastCat;971298]A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.
My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.
Breakups SUCK: There's nothing worse that having your heart broken. Have faith that the universe has a plan for you and despite the fact that you are feeling badly now, there's a better plan for you and someone else in your future.
Continue eating well, working out and be ready when that next great person, unexpectedly walks into your life. Give yourself some time, and figure out how to be happy solo for a while. We've all been there, that's for sure.
It's happened to me. It hurts for awhile, there's no getting around it, you have to go through it. It takes time. When you feel a bit better, sit down and list out the things that you contributed to it going wrong. Be honest, or it's a waste of time. Don't list the things she did wrong, just what you did wrong.
Why did you do them? If you don't know, find out. Fix the problem or it will affect every relationship you ever have going forward.
I once saw a great bumper sticker, which read: "I am the one common factor in all of my failed relationships"
People fail. If you don't learn something useful about yourself and try to make the next relationship better, it won't be better, just different.
Whenever I have been dumped, I have always tried to wrap my mind around the thought that it was their loss. Takes work, but it always worked for me.
Positive energy to you TFC. Remeber the only person that is guareented to be with you your whole life is yourself, YOU are ENOUGH!! Adopt a mantra, do some meditation, invest in yourself, because when you love yourself you bring love to yourself. You will make it though this and you will be stronger for it. Everything happens for a reason.
Time, exercise, distraction, a new relationship
Go out for a looooong walk this extended weekend (maybe hike!) and just reflect on it for 4 hours. But I wouldn't know. The times when I thought my boyfriend was going to break up with me, I just went straight to Whole Foods and bought a 90% chocolate bar.
[QUOTE=Louisa655;971413]Continue eating well, working out and be ready when that next great person, unexpectedly walks into your life. Give yourself some time, and figure out how to be happy solo for a while. We've all been there, that's for sure.[/QUOTE]
This x 1000.
I'm about 15 months out from my last soul-crushing break up, and still waiting for that great guy myself, but it's just a matter of time. The thing is, we are never given anything we can't handle. We are all complete beings and the sooner we love ourselves for simply [I]being who we are,[/I] that wonderful person will come in to the picture.
Hang in there, and don't bang her friends. She'll just go psycho on you, and rightfully so.
Hang in there. Time heals all (for the most part at least) :(
[QUOTE=naiadknight;971315]I know this is cliche, but find the pieces, pick 'em up, and keep walking. I had an ex do the same thing.
If what you do is fairly brainless, use it as a form of meditation.
Set aside a time to truly reflect on that relationship. I'm not talking 20 minutes. This may be an all nighter. Go through all of it, the happy times, the sad times, the rough times, the good times. Reflect on how she changed you and how you learned from each other. Allow yourself to feel as you go through it, to cry, get enraged, smile, and laugh. This will go a long way towards helping the healing. You may not be far enough into your mourning to do that though, so that call is yours.
Let it out as you can. A soul in pain can only fester if not allowed to breathe.
Find reasons to smile and laugh. Beg, borrow, or steal funny movies and books. Get lost in enjoying things you couldn't while you were attached.
Your heart will heal, eventually. I can't say when, but you will love again. One day you'll wake up and she won't be your first thought. One day, she'll be put aside in a special box in your memories and filed away. For now, let yourself process it.[/QUOTE]
fast cat that is sad, and I so agree with Naiadknight. You have got to go through the whole grief process. You have lost a loved one - so take each day as it comes, don't do nothing stupid, and keep feeding yourself. You so don't want to be low in nutrients at this tough time. If it means just buying the basics - butter, cream, meat and a pkt of lettuce - just do it, and tomorrow you might feel a miniscule better. I haven't been through a breakup but have lost two children - and the emotions are all very similar.
Good luck and we are here for you man