I haven't reread this thread recently, but as I recall TFC and the "ex" only dated for about a month. I could understand being angry at a friend who pursued an ex that I dated for a few months... but one month? Really? Sounds like a personal problem on the part of the ex if she is even upset, not TFC or the friend.
Hey sorry for not keeping this updated;
So the ex and I had arranged (bought tickets etc) to go to Costa Rica over New Year's with three of our mutual friends the week before she dumped me. Well I figured she would of course rescind her plans after she broke up with me, but no she kept her flight. My friends told her she wasn't welcome to stay in our awesome Real-World style rental house since I didn't want her there. She ended up staying in a place 30 mins away with *her* ex now once-again-current man. So it was
Couple male friend to TFC #1
Couple female friend to TFC #2
Ex's best friend (also sort of TFC friend and mutual friend to the above)
all in the house together (where ex had also arranged to be prior to our breaking up). Well I think I talked about it in my journal (called Tooth and Claw -- search for it if you are interested there are a couple of pics from costa rica). Well the long and short of it is that ex's best friend came onto me after getting drunk. I reciprocated and well a couple days in we were sleeping in each other's beds. She herself had had a prior, sort of falling out with the ex -- I guess I wasn't really the only one she didn't treat respectfully.
That in itself wasn't so messed up but we both shared the same return flight home with my ex which was super awkward. Super awkward. This is a girl I haven't even acknowledged since we broke up; and here she was at the end of the flight check-in line acting like everything was peachy, normal when I showed up and begrudgingly said "hi". Well me and my new buddy who I guess I will refer to as SexyTime (formerly ex's best friend) played Uno with the Ex while waiting for the checkin line to open up (world's most awkward game of Uno). Apparently the moment I left our game to go get some bottled water from a store the ex asked SexyTime if she "had made out with anyone"? Taken by surprise - she acknowledged that she had; apparently ex said "that makes me feel weird". It wasn't until a month or so later that she found out we slept (and continued) sleeping together -- at that point she decided she no longer wanted to be friends with SexyTime and they had a yelling, screaming fight.
I really don't understand the ex's stance. I think it would be very different for me to bang the ex's best friend if I had broken up with my ex, but she broke up with me. I think that's completely different. If I broke up with a girl and my buddy wanted to date her I would be fine with that.
Now I hate that that happened. I let SexyTime know about that. I told her they should remain friends, chicks before dicks etc. She told me that she didn't want to be friends with her anyway, etc. So I think the actual hook up between us was cathartic for us both. SexyTime was two years past a serious boyfriend of hers who had died which I have kind of helped her move on from.
SexyTime and I are still dating. We get along really well -- and while I do love her and she loves me, I acknowledge that I don't feel nearly as strongly about her as I did (but no longer do) about my ex. We are happy together but the intensity just isn't there compared to what was with the ex, though many, many other great things ARE there that were missing with the ex that I very much love and that make me happy. On the whole SexyTime is a huge, huge upgrade! It's just a pity that I could have such strong feelings towards someone who was so undeserving of them... who wasn't good for me and didn't give me credit or respect that I deserve from someone I am with.
Hi TFC, Glad to see you're with someone who appreciates you. A long time ago I had a relationship with my best friend's ex. it was no big deal for her, they had been apart long enough. It's strange how we can sometimes have such strong feelings for people that really aren't right for us, I don't know why that is.