[QUOTE=TheFastCat;978861]Sorry for the continued drama...
Got a text today:
"I would very much like to talk to you"
this is after six days of nothing. The last text she sent which I didn't respond to was
"Thanks, TFC that means a lot. I hope you are doing well too. This is all very difficult and I don't want to make anything more difficult. It's hard not talking to you."
WHAT THE FUCK.
I Haven't reciprocated contact I haven't even initiated it. Here she is initiating it... what am I to think> WHat is natural to think? Is she setting me up to crush my heart again? It isn't fair. I haven't said anything since she broke it off why would she initiate contact to break it again?????
I don't deserve this[/QUOTE]
Hi, I've been reading most of your posts and I feel your pain. I, too am going through a similar situation. My ex tried to contact me this way too. All I can say is keep your distance and just don't talk to them. I can respect that it can be hard for the person doing the heart breaking as well. So this can be quite confusing for the person (you) with the broken heart. I found myself asking, "are they interested in me again? does he want me back?". But in the end, he didn't. But seriously, don't contact them. You need the distance to heal.
Oh and by the way, I found some really helpful advice/insight from this thread to help me through my own pain. So thank you. :)
How long were you together and what age (ish) are you both?
Magnolia - wow, that's awful. So when she couldn't get his attention she lashed out to tell you? That must have been hard to hear about the affair, but did her carry on make it easier to side with him when she contacted you? ouch.
[QUOTE=Daemonized;971392]I'll repeat advice given to me once. Dry your eyes on another woman's skirt.[/QUOTE]
This one is the best idea to cure the unseen wounds and you will really feel delighted after a week and don't ever emotionally attached to any one just enjoy them and ******.
I took her face with me to archery, imagined it on the target and shot her eyes out. Best shooting I have done in years. It was cathartic and really made me feel better without actually hurting anyone, poisoning myself with chemicals or waking up hungover next to a woman you dont remember who got pregnant from that one time and haunts your life with child support and hatred, again.....
Cut them off, cut them out, get out of your home and see other people on the street, walk and live well knowing she could have had this as well but was too stupid to see the possibilities and laugh out loud suddenly about it.
Random sex is not a solution though it feels good at the moment and hurting her for real in many various ways is just bad Karma that will bite you in the ass when you dont need it.
Going through a heartbreak of my own right now, and I'm hoping, like you, to find the strength to cut it off completely. I deserve better.
I don't have any advice to give, but I offer hugs! /HUG
Music has always had sway over my emotional and mental state. Maybe it might have some power to help you? Here's one that makes me feel rather optimistic:
[QUOTE]Magnolia - wow, that's awful. So when she couldn't get his attention she lashed out to tell you? That must have been hard to hear about the affair, but did her carry on make it easier to side with him when she contacted you? ouch. [/QUOTE]
Yeah, she was pretty bizarre. Her crazy actually made my husband really appreciate me. She had a meltdown at my house.
The affair was maybe a 3-4 month thing. He claims it was just about sex, and I believe that he did not lead her on about there being potential for more. I think for me, my initial reaction was insecurity (no one mid 30's wants to compete with a gal younger than 21). But then I saw how she acted and was like, hell.... if he leaves me for her, he's a fucking idiot and deserves misery.
He was kind of broadsided by the crazy and it made it very easy to look beyond the nice body and apparently crazy sex. He actually got the whole "pregnancy" scare from her even. She was a piece of work.
To the OP, I hope that your ex does not harass you. However, if she does it will hopefully remind you of the bullet you dodged.
Magnolia - Wow. No, no one in their 30s wants to compete with a young un! Glad she unstuck herself. Must have been very tough for you, glad you worked through it ok, and beyond the instinctive response.
TFC - hope you are feeling better and getting stronger about it each day.
So in the vein of keeping everyone in the loop:
If you remember She had sent a text (god I hate texting):
"I would very much like to talk to you."
Over a day later (of absolute agony) I responded with
"I will listen to you [Her name here]."
"Thank you for letting me know that. I didn't know if my voice was welcomed or not and I would like to explain things further to you, but I don't want to be invasive."
"Would you prefer an email, a pone call, or in person for listening?"
I replied with: "I read your email and I understand why you ended things. There is nothing to explain."
"I feel like there is."
"Unless you don't want to hear it
"Which I can respect"
(4 hours later)
"I didn't end things because I'm dating other people. I want you to know that I still feel strongly about you."
"You haven't communicated anything to me. That's really hard"
I replied with: "Thank you; I know. I trust that."
"I understand your reasons from what you have told me. You know how I feel. I could talk to you
for a week [Her name here]. I miss you. But nothing would be different."
"You're right, it wouldn't but I don't know I can't imagine losing you. I guess I have to figure me out"
"I feel likean asshole, an idiot and a mess. I am very sorry"
"You didn't lose me koko. You threw me away." [monday night - 9pm]
[Tuesday early morning] "Please don't say that. That's super hurtful."
"And I don't think It's true"
She was at yoga last night, I joined after she was in and was behind her for the class. She seemed sad; I tried to not be and tried to act light and happy to see her, but also in my own zone if that makes sense. She was happier after that. It's the fist contact or time I've seen her face to face in 16 days, the last time being when I told her to leave my apartment when she broke my heart when she said me she didn't want to see me anymore.
It was really hard seeing her because it's the first time when we've been together -- but haven't. I was looking at her the sameway I have always and then caght myself - because I can't anymore. I'm not going to be a creep in the back of yoga class oogling an ex girlfriend -- so I didn't. I liked being near her though; I really miss her.
after the class I got my things and ran away. distracted myself last night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't get it out of my head. I re-read her texts a few dozen more times.
I text her this morning at 5:30
"What does it mean that you have 'strong emotions' for me? Why can't you imagine losing me? Why did you reach out to me?"
7:30 AM she responds with
"I love you"
She told me that before - but not since she broke up with me. I don't think she'd say that lightly or for attention or to mess with me.
I love her to death -- she knows that. She also doesn't say what she feels, like I do.
Im going crazy again.
Who breaks up with someone that they love and loves them? I don't understand anything