For me, it started with my mother and sisters and has moved through work relationships and even my relationship with my husband. I think it started when I was 8 and my mom put me on a diet. Then when I was 11, she would start in with "you're fat. Men do not find fat women to be attractive. You want to attract a man, lose weight." I was 11. Why in the hell would I want to attract a man anyway? Then it became, "you're stupid, you won't amount to anything." Then when I was 19 and dropped out of college due to grades and being unhappy, I got "you're worthless. You will never be anything but worthless." When I met my husband, she told the both of us that I am not the type of woman a man should ever marry. She kept on with this throughout my adult life. The ironic part of this is that when I was 30 and finally dropping weight, she told me that she was proud of me. That was a hard pill to swallow. That you were only proud of me for losing fat? That pissed me off and I went off on her. I told her that I don't think that she ever loved me. I told her that a mother who truly her kids would never say ugly things. That turned into me becoming someone who would basically do anything to feel love and/or acceptance from anyone. I think my husband has picked up on this over the years.
On your chili - this must be an American thing, because this is the first I've ever heard of, and I still don't understand why you would, eat chili over rice. Why? Just eat the chili. Alone. In a bowl. And it doesn't get any more primal than that, right?[/QUOTE]
I think it's actually a Yankee thing (ie, northern Americans). Mom's the only one I'd heard of doing it, and she's from Yankee-land. Never hear people down here talk about it. I do it sometimes just to make the chili stretch further.
[QUOTE=Twibble;1007845]I think it's actually a Yankee thing (ie, northern Americans). Mom's the only one I'd heard of doing it, and she's from Yankee-land. Never hear people down here talk about it. I do it sometimes just to make the chili stretch further.[/QUOTE]
Well, I was once in Fort Worth and I had chili..... and they served it over pasta!
I know that you are correct in that many people eat it over rice to save money. I have my own strange thing with chili.... I have to eat it with a big kosher pickle.... It's like tradition for me.
[QUOTE=irishfoxy;1007783] But if she really doesn't want to spend time with you, why does she call you to help her?............[spaces added for clarity about my points...................... And I don't think she's being dishonest with the "hour" so much as trying not to be an imposition at first,[/QUOTE]
I have to disagree with Irishfoxy's take on this (if you are interested at all in competing points of view on a vent post, that is :))
She calls you to help her because she can get your help for free and at her convenience. If you remind her of your father, and she disliked him, that may be an added bonus, as she probably feels she deserves it or is 'scoring'.
Sounds like she is delighted to be an imposition.
Chili over spaghetti is a Cincinnati, OH thing. I wouldn't eat it over rice.
So, let me ask a question here about young kids and cell phones... would you let them have one?
Before I get into this, let me state right up front, my wife's workplace covers the first $100 of our cell bill every month. They will pay more than that if it can be shown that there was more than $100 of business related calls or data used. So, basically my wife has to keep track of what she does on the phone, but in any case, the company pays for at least $100 of the monthly bill. Right now our bill is usually about $190 a month for 4 lines, which includes 2 smart phones, and 2 basic phones.The 2 basic phones are coming off our plan this week, we think. One is my father in laws number, and one was my mom's number, which is on suspension status because we asked for it.
Right now, I trust my kids 100% to do what I tell them when it comes to just about everything, but they are 11.... I don't think I will feel the same way in 2 years.
OK, so they both want phones, which I think is not a bad idea, for safety reasons, if nothing else. But they want SMARTPHONES. And of course that means more money per month. We went to a Verizon store yesterday and even if I bought them basic phones, they still would need ( really want, not need ) a texting plan. So, the guy said that this would bring our bill to $220 a month.
Not to brag, but I have such "currently" awesome kids, I feel like they have earned my trust, and are pretty worthy of having smartphones.... but then the issue becomes money.... Our bill would then be ~ $250 a month for a family share plan, minus the $100 my wife's company pays. This includes all things... data, text, phone...... blah blah blah. But the other "thing" is that I am pretty sure that as the get older, the less I will trust them..... I don't want them "sexting", chatting with 50 year old guys who pretend they are 14 year old girls.... hell it already REALLY bothers me that they have people who "follow them" on Instagram that they have no clue who these followers are.
So, what do you think?
And LOL, I'll be talking more primal M - F.... and more fluff on the weekends.
BTW, they are both getting iPod minis for Christmas, so they can have apps on that, and have wi-fi to text and Facetime.
My daughters have cell phones. They have basic phones and we have an unlimited texting package with 700 min of talk. We have 5 phones and our bill is $220/month. I'm not a big talker on the phone(I work in a call center all day and by the time I get home, I don't want to be on the phone period end of story). My eldest, who is almost 14, wants a smartphone. I told her no smartphones until she has a job and can afford the extra charges. I trust my almost 11 yr old and almost 12 yr old better than I do my eldest child. Just depends on the kids IMO.
Can't you get them a smartphone without the data package? I discovered that I hardly use the 3g data because in most places there is wifi and the smartphone can access that. Where there is no wifi I just use the phone function and the data that is stored locally on the smartphone.
An alternative (in the Netherlands) is to use a prepaid package for the data
[QUOTE=paleodutch;1009098]Can't you get them a smartphone without the data package? I discovered that I hardly use the 3g data because in most places there is wifi and the smartphone can access that. Where there is no wifi I just use the phone function and the data that is stored locally on the smartphone.
An alternative (in the Netherlands) is to use a prepaid package for the data[/QUOTE]
No, to have a smartphone, you have to have data. They run off data. No carrier in the US will allow you to get a smartphone and run it off wifi only. You can use wifi to save on data, but that's it.
I'm kind of an old fogey when it comes to cell phones. Part of it is that I didn't even get the most basic, emergency use only, phone until college, and I'll be farked if some little tweenager NEEDS a cell phone for Angry Birds and texting.
That said, if they're the kind of kids that are always doing extracurricular activities and need to be able to call for a ride when it's done, you might get them the most simplistic one you can get your hands on. Texting, minimal minutes, and that's it. When they hit HS, you might change it out to allow for minimal data, but no smartphone. If they decide they need a smartphone, they can get a part time job or "part time job" (cocurriculars and stuff that looks good on a college app) and prove themselves worthy.
That's my 2 cents. Then again, I have no kids yet, so take it as you will.