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[QUOTE=Twibble;1006964]I'm a bit late since I didn't have internet the last few days...but this sounds very tasty. I might leave out the cauliflower though...[/QUOTE]
i might do the same, that said, if you make a curry and put it over cauliflower that is the bomb. Great looking recipe PP.
[QUOTE=canio6;1006972]i might do the same, that said, if you make a curry and put it over cauliflower that is the bomb. Great looking recipe PP.[/QUOTE]
If I turn it into a curry, I better like it, 'cause my husband will refuse to eat it. He doesn't like curry for some strange reason.
[QUOTE=irishfoxy;1006959]I;m going to start out by being clear that [I]I'm not saying you're wrong[/I]... but what if she's just lonely and wants to spend time with you?.....[/QUOTE]
Not a chance. Oh, she may be lonely, but she doesn't want to spend time with me.... we argue every time we see each other. That can't be pleasant. I sure as hell know it isn't pleasant for me.
The cauliflower was only because I wanted to avoid rice.... by all means, if you use rice, then go ahead and use rice. Being diabetic, I try to use low glycemic foods when I can.
On an entirely non primal, non venting post, have any of you seen the BBC version of a show called Misfits?
This show should totally be a show I hate, yet I am strangely compelled to watch it. Here is the premise:
A bunch of young adults who have been in trouble with the law are required to do community service. Not a single one of them is a particularly likeable character. While doing community service a crazy storm hit, granting each of them a superpower. What they don't know is that they aren't the only ones with superpowers.
So basically, it is Heroes, but way more risque". I would say it is R rated.... lots of bad language, some nudity, and lots of drinking and drug use.It is definitely more suited for the British youth, than a 50 year old guy from Philly. The show can actually be annoying, but just when you think you won't watch anymore, something truly hilarious or compelling draws you back in.
If you have Hulu+, I think you should really check t out.
[QUOTE=irishfoxy;1006959]I;m going to start out by being clear that [I]I'm not saying you're wrong[/I]...
You know when she says "an hour of your time" it will really be 3 or 4 hours, so why not simply book that amount of time with her and do whatever she wants? She may be difficult and stubborn and hard to deal with, but she is your mom, and I'm sure you care about her.
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This is what I was going to say too. I equate parents that need care to children who need care... they have no sense of time anymore. They have no priorities or regular responsibilities like those of us "in the middle" of life. Maybe if you do like some parents do with children and say "mom. We have already used up 30 minutes of time. You have 30 minutes left" and keep giving her reminders of how much time has been used, maybe she'll eventually stop wasting your time like this.
BUT... being an adult who knows what she's like, instead of limiting her to an hour and then getting angry with her, maybe you should just plan for it to take longer than she says. You KNOW it'll take 2-3 hours to do everything she has asked you to do, so why not plan for 2-3 hours and just avoid the fight. Seems like the adult thing to do, in my opinion.
And like IrishFoxy said... she's not going to be around forever, just as our kids won't stay little forever. Just treat her like a child b/c really, from what I am hearing and learning from all the others who have mom issues, they are just like children.
At any rate... I hope you can find a solution to the problem. Until then, feel free to vent. :)
[QUOTE=geostump;1006898]I have a lot of mother issues myself. This is the book I'm reading [B]Who's Pulling Your Strings?[/B] by Harriet B. Braiker, PH.D. It's really opened my eyes and made me realize a lot of things. Check it out and I'm also going to start exploring my mother and relationship issues.[/QUOTE]
To give you an idea of manipulative, my mom once came to my home when nobody was there and left a starter kit of "Ally", the weight loss pills, on my kitchen table.
[QUOTE=jenn26point2;1007044]
BUT... being an adult who knows what she's like, instead of limiting her to an hour and then getting angry with her, maybe you should just plan for it to take longer than she says. You KNOW it'll take 2-3 hours to do everything she has asked you to do, so why not plan for 2-3 hours and just avoid the fight. Seems like the adult thing to do, in my opinion.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I see the point, but that doesn't agree with my personality. And what I mean by that is I expect people to be honest and forthcoming, mother or not. And I expect people to do what they can to mitigate wasting other people's time. Here is an example: She will call me and ask me over to do stuff, but when I get there she doesn't remember or know what she wants done. I have asked her to simply write it all down for when I get there... she won't do it.
As to whether I will miss her when she's gone? Maybe. Like I said in the OP, we have NEVER had a good relationship.
Primal Papa, I completely understand your point of view, and I agree with what you did. People like that, whether they're relatives or coworkers, are toxic. That kind of thing adds to your stress levels--which may be part of why you're having a hard time losing weight.
My parents were divorced and I refused to see my original father after I turned 18, when the court ordered visitation no longer applied to me. He wanted to reconcile about 6 years later, and I gave it a try, but he was still as poisonous as he had been before. I tried the reconciliation thing for about two months, but couldn't take the stress and psychological terrorism, so I refused to see him after that. I didn't speak to him for over twenty years, and then only talked to him on the phone once when he was on his deathbed. He had not changed one bit, and was still horrible to me. The only reason I talked to him then was because my brother asked me to, so I did it for my brother's sake.
I was not there when he died, nor did I go to his funeral. I have never regretted "disowning" him.
You have to do what's right for your own health--physical and mental. Don't let your mother's passive-aggressive manipulative ways add stress to your life.
[QUOTE=Primal Papa;1007077]To give you an idea of manipulative, my mom once came to my home when nobody was there and left a starter kit of "Ally", the weight loss pills, on my kitchen table.[/QUOTE]
Mine told me that the dress I was trying on for my brother's wedding would look great!...if I wore a girdle with it.
Luckily, she's lightened up A LOT.